Mindslave wrote:
There was a brief period of time that I was like that. You know what it means?
If you stop being cool for too long, you get left behind. Once you are no longer in style, it's hard to get back in with the group, because it's all about the group and the status attached to it. You aren't you anymore, you are like a gang member almost, and it becomes so easy to talk to people, because it doesn't matter if you mess up. THEY don't matter. Only being part of your group matters, because that's all you have.
I can sort of agree. For years I was getting into different groups of friends. Because it was the music scene it was pretty easy to be accepted. We all looked the same but for me it was a lot harder. These people could just chat for a whole day and party 5 times a week. My old group of friends are right now preparing to go to about 3 festivals which have the same lineup, just in different cities. They've booked flights and motels and have even arranged after parties. God it sounds so tiring. I made an attempt to got to one festival and one after party but I was so exhausted from the festival which I didn't even stay at for the whole duration of the event, that I just went home in a bad mood.
Then when it came to their parties I truly felt left out. So I drank too much, puked and felt like crap the next day, both physically and emotionally. And I never went back to them.
It's a lot of work to keep up. I've tried to get into different social groups, usually about a certain genre of music, but I never really felt I belonged. If I did it was only for a short time. I still go see bands but I'm no longer a part of the scene. I'm a good chameleon. I can pull off the look and I'm into some of the bands those other kids listen to so I can maybe get to hang out with some people at a gig, but make sure I don't say too much.
But I've definitely become less cool. Those people want to know what I've been up to and I struggle to tell them the truth for fear of being made fun of. I wish it didn't matter to me. I miss the old life but I love this new one too. I understand so much more about myself and I've learnt so much about the world. In the group you only knows as much as the person that talks the most.