It's so hard to tell people how you feel.

Post Reply New Topic

Is anyone having the problem of explaining to someone how you feel? I love my parents, but it's so hard to say it. You know you're angry, but just can't say it. You know you're hungry, but you can't say it.

It's easier than it used to be.
Especially with emotions like anger.

More often then not i have a hard time determining what i feel, let alone trying to explain it to some one else, even when i am angry or sad i have a hard time figuring that out, i know i don't feel good, but i have a very hard time putting a name to what i am feeling. So the answer is yes, i think...

Yeah it's hard. When I can say it my mum isn't even listening. It's not so much I don't know what to say but it becomes emotionally and physical painful to actually get the first words out.

I cannot speak to my emotions at any real level. Sad but that is the way it is.

I generally cannot articulate my emotions until sometimes long after the fact.

I can't talk to people about my feelings without crying. I have no trouble telling people that I love them. It's the bad emotions that I have trouble with.

I'd have to be alone for a while to work out what my feelings were......I'm not likely to be clear if I can't do that first. And if the feelings are negative or in any way likely to challenge or hurt the other person, it's going to be more difficult, because I don't trust my ability to keep the friendship sweet while revealing such feelings.

Weird thing is, I've had very little luck in getting a coherent reply when I've asked others how they feel. People seem to talk more about what they think, when I do that. All I'm after is a couple of key words like "angry" or "disappointed."

Sometimes I find it laughable that a mere word can describe an emotion. When I'm angry anger isn't something that covers it, it's such a tiny word, it has no nuances, no subtleties to it. It's just five letters, five letters people use when they've gotten beaten up, or when someone stepped on their shoes, or failure to understand what 'hold the pickle' meant at the burger place. It seems absurd that something so small, used for so many different varied situations can express something as deep and complex as what I'm feeling.

But I feel it all the same. It just seems wrong somehow to minimize what I feel when I consider say my career situation to the same level, the same word, that I might use for finding a pickle on my burger after I specifically asked them to hold it. And NT's wonder why I struggle with this. They use the same words for everything regardless of magnitude. No wonder I can't use their words, the way they use them is as absurd as a painter calling everything from the lightest aqua to the deepest indigo 'blue'. How can I be expected to distinguish shades of my own emotions when they themselves use happy for everything from 'mildly pleased' to 'elated'?

Do you know how you feel?

If you understand your feelings well
"I am angry because someone did ... to me"
then it might be an embarrassment/social anxiety issue.
Is it better when you talk to one of your friends instead of your mom?

If you are truly lost as to why you are angry or if you are even angry at all, then it might be an alexithymia issue. I just posted a whole thread on that.

Sorry I couldn't help you more.
I have a difficult time understand my own feelings, let alone explain them to others.

You could try saying it alone to yourself to start. If you get it wrong it won't matter. Pretend you are an actor and you have been asked to "act" whatever it is. Do this in the privacy of your room with no one watching. Then if you feel like the words "fit" the internal state you can move on to saying it to the other person. I find writing what I feel is good. A lot of garbage comes out without me putting it on someone else. Sometimes I even communicate what I'm feeling in writing to the other person because it gives me more time to think it over and try to get it right.