Aust Hot Aspie Chicks & Hunks Calendar/Phone Line

Post Reply New Topic

http://forum.asperger.asn.au/topic.asp? ... hichpage=7

I laughed when I read the calender idea further down, we've had that as a running joke for ages. Bunya also went on to develop the idea into having a Hot Aspie Chick and Hunk phone line!!

"Oh God, Em, now I've got this fictional television ad in my head! It would appear on Channel Nine in the wee hours of the morning after David Letterman has finished. It would go something like this:

"Hi there, honey! We're three hot Aspie chicks sitting all by ourselves in a Gold Coast apartment and we're just dying for you to call! We're going to make you sizzle all night long, baby! First, you can talk about your collection of National Geographic magazines dating back to 1983, and then we'll tell you everything we know about the different styles of doorknobs in seventeenth-century Bavaria! Then we'll have a really ... stimulating conversation about Queensland Railways steam locomotive wheel configurations -- especially the C17 class 4-8-0, oh, we just love a big steel 4-8-0! We'll run our tongues over each other's bucked, gappy teeth, and then, for the climax of the night, we'll head down to a LAN cafe and play network Age of Empires III until the sun rises over Cavill Avenue! So ... call us ... now on 1902 ASPIES, or SMS the word "Aspie" to 192 5555, or find us on the web at www.hotaspiechicks.com.au! We're waiting for you ..!"

--The Unusually Lecherous Bunya

"Hi Fergs,

Somebody has expressed a moderate amount of dismay that there is not a Hot Aspie Hunks hotline. So, in order to redress the dreadful gender imbalance when it comes to the provision of adult telephone services, may I reveal the new ad for Hot Aspie Hunks (also to be played after David Letterman has finished on Channel Nine during the graveyard shift):

"Hi, ladies. We're three hot Aspie hunks in a penthouse overlooking the Brisbane River at Teneriffe, and we exist solely to cater to your every need and desire, all day and all night, baby! First, we'll cook you breakfast in bed -- GF/CF of course -- and then we'll lovingly, tenderly water your collection of 48 potted aspidistras while wearing nothing but a loincloth! We'll sit down and have a ... deep and meaningful conversation about the subjunctive conjugations of the Latin verb essere while hugging and canoodling, and then we'll admire your school reports and class photos that you've been keeping in a folder since you were six years old! After dinner at an Italian restaurant, also GF/CF, we'll install a new edition of Norton Anti Virus on your computer while surrounded by candlelight and rose petals, and, to bring the night to a climax, we'll talk about the relative virtues of the different classes of antidepressants while entwined in each other's arms in front of a roaring fireplace! So ... call us ... now ... we know how to treat you ladies right!"

--The Bunya

EDIT: I'm at Fergie's place now, and she just read this post, and she says she has not had this much romance since watching "Gone With The Wind" at age 12!


He can't work out why I like pot plants, and the other day he answered the phone "Hot Aspie Hunks, which pot plant would you like me to water..?"

Oh my freaking God, that's brilliant.

That is getting copied straight to a Word document.

That's really too damn funny. Where do I register a complaint?

Brilliant satire.

Hey Em,

You forgot how I came up with the calendar idea long before anybody on WP did, on the 9th of February this year actually. Here it is:

"Okay folks, how does this sound for a fundraising idea for the ASSN? Fergie, Brent and I were discussing it on Saturday night.

First, there was the Sports Illustrated swimsuit calendar, the Pirelli calendar, then the Men of League calendar and the Firemen's calendar, and now there's ... *drumroll* ... the Hot Aspie Chicks 2007 calendar!

Of course, it will be PG-rated -- no nudity or overt sexual references. Just twelve stunning Aspie chicks in swimwear doing Aspie things. For instance, Miss March can be shown sprawled over the controls in the driver's cab of a PB15 class steam locomotive at the North Ipswich Workshops railway museum. Miss November can be shown in a LAN café wearing a bikini playing her favourite network games, and Miss July can seductively pose atop a bookshelf in a library.

And to prove that I am not a male chauvinist pig, I would like to place on the record that I am open to the idea of a Hot Aspie Beefcakes 2007 calendar. I bags being Mr February!

So, Stef, how about it? You reckon the Board of Directors of the ASSN would approve of this? Think of the money it will raise!

--The Bunya"

http://forum.asperger.asn.au/topic.asp? ... hichpage=8

P.S.: Stef did actually take it seriously ...