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Xenia
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11 Mar 2011, 7:38 pm

I am hoping this is an aspie trait and I'm not just going to sound wierd.

I always have a person in my head that I'm always talking to. It will be the same person for months or years. I can remember all the people it has been. They are not significant, when I was young it was usually a school teacher, always female (I'm female) and older.

I don't think anything wierd, just chat about all different things in a way I could never do in real life from conversations about my garden to my childhood. Also I always play out scenarios where they would have to give me a hug, I would love a friendly hug but would freeze or pull away in real life. When I'm with the person in real life I fail to have any conversation.

I guess I am just playing out the social aspects of life I can't actually do.

Am I odd or do others do this?



Zen
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11 Mar 2011, 8:05 pm

I do this, especially after I've been around certain people physically. I blather on to them in my head about things that would likely make the actual person die of boredom. :lol:



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11 Mar 2011, 8:16 pm

Xenia wrote:
I am hoping this is an aspie trait and I'm not just going to sound wierd.

I always have a person in my head that I'm always talking to. It will be the same person for months or years. I can remember all the people it has been. They are not significant, when I was young it was usually a school teacher, always female (I'm female) and older.

I don't think anything wierd, just chat about all different things in a way I could never do in real life from conversations about my garden to my childhood. Also I always play out scenarios where they would have to give me a hug, I would love a friendly hug but would freeze or pull away in real life. When I'm with the person in real life I fail to have any conversation.

I guess I am just playing out the social aspects of life I can't actually do.

Am I odd or do others do this?


You do not sound weird or odd. I wouldn't know if it is aspie trait or not. I can relate to what you are saying.

When I was younger, I would do the same thing. Have conversations with a person in my head. It was a great person to talk with. Happy to talk with me. None of those awkward moments of silence. Just a real good talk.

Nowadays I still have the conversations but usually with different people in my life. Like the customer I have to see in thirty minutes, I'm having a conversation in my head with that customer.

You might be right that you are playing out the social aspects of life that you cannot do. I figure why I am having that conversation in my head with the customer is to prepare myself for that conversation.

I figure I am not weird for doing it or you are weird for what you do. Just the way our mind operates and deals with the world :)


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11 Mar 2011, 8:18 pm

I've got through life as an NT and yet I talk to a little person in my head as well. Despite my original reasons for coming on this site (for accessing online resources, case studies and testimonies of autism to help my ASD daughter) I have come to the conclusion that I must be an undiagnosed ASD or at least an NT with autistic traits.

Ever since I was a child I found that i was much more comfortable talking to my self than others to sift through events and peoples behaviour in the outside world. I find that the person in my head (me myself, I) is far more logical at coming to explanations than say a friend, mentor, academic or even a health professional.

I am forever a skeptic and often end up talking to myself after observing or experiencing an event making sense of it. This is not necessarily a schizophrenic trait (like Gollum's Schmiegl in Tolkien's Lord of The Rings) as the little voice in my head is neither negative nor posetive - however I have in the past taken a more negative/conservative approach to other people than a posetive pro-social approach.



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11 Mar 2011, 8:38 pm

Yeah, I've had several "people" in my head I can hold conversations with. It's part of my larger daydreaming thing. The entire process is kind of fascinating to me in that while I know they're not real, they do kind of take on a life of their own.



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11 Mar 2011, 9:14 pm

I'm not quite sure what you mean. I wouldn't say that there's a little person in my head that I talk to, but often times I do plan out what to say in conversations by imagining that I'm talking to said person.



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11 Mar 2011, 9:49 pm

Yeah, I think I have something similar to this.
I think it serves a function, part of a dream world we create to escape reality, or it can be a social preparation.

I have conversations or scenarios that play out in my head with people I know or have come into contact with - sometimes even people off the top of my head that fit the purpose I need them for - this becomes a problem however when you play out this in your head but then the real people and real scenarios don't turn out as in your head, which causes more anxiety.

It amuses me sometimes that I slip into these conversations with people in my head without fully realising I'm doing it, I'll then ask the person in real life something relating to the conversation - for example planning to go somewhere with my boyfriend, I'll ask him 'So, are we going to such and such a place?' and he'll have no idea what I'm talking about because I had had the whole conversation in my head.

Secret time - I have a group of friends who are in my mind alone, they've been around since childhood and have a whole mythos.
As a child they were more like a Chronicles of Narnia story in my head and I was constantly in my own head with these people, but as an adult they are more realistic, and I only let my mind go to them when listening to music. It's weird and pathetic, but I think it serves a need. These are what I'd expect real friends to be like; I can be myself, friendship is unconditional, there's respect, caring, tough love, and other things I think friendships should be that I can't put into words. There's no way I could ever experience anything close to this in real life (which is so tragic, it's almost unbearable) so they serve a purpose.

I sometimes think maybe I'm in this dream world too often, that if I could find some way to turn this off I may be better with real people, but I do think it is something that comes from being aspie, and in all fairness if I didn't have this dream world I think I'd crack-up.


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sandrana
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11 Mar 2011, 9:57 pm

I'm not sure if this is an aspie trait or if it's a common coping skill that some of us have developed. I often 'rehearse' conversations in my head, it's part of the anticipation process when dealing with people, and it really helps me not be stunned or overwhelmed when conversations happen to me.



alexi
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11 Mar 2011, 9:59 pm

For me I feel that it is definitely related to wanting to have these connections in real life that I just can't pull off. In my head there is no one judging me, distracting me, I can talk and talk at them, and I can shape their reactions as I please. The problem is that they really do take on a life of their own and when I see that person in real life it is confusing and disappointing to me.



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11 Mar 2011, 10:28 pm

I had a few friends in my head. But they liked talking to each other better than talking to me. So the went out for coffee and never came back.


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sandrana
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11 Mar 2011, 10:28 pm

maybe if you could slightly modify the person in your head to be more like their real life counterpart (without being quite so unnerving) then you practice having in-head conversations that you'll eventually feel comfortable having in real life.



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11 Mar 2011, 10:32 pm

I can have conversations as part of a daydream where I will actually vocalize a little at times. But Ive never had any kind of consistent imaginary friend type character.



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12 Mar 2011, 6:10 am

simon_says wrote:
I can have conversations as part of a daydream where I will actually vocalize a little at times. But Ive never had any kind of consistent imaginary friend type character.

I'm Not sure about others, but the person in my head is non descript and without identity. It's me but not me looking in the mirror. It's more like a projected version of me floating outside my body reasoning things out.

Occasionally this projection takes on a physical form. As a child it was like a university professor but in the form of the late julius sumner-miller. Nowadays it's either an FBI agent out of X-files or dumbledore from Harry potter.

The x files guy manifests when I'm feeling a bit creepy.the role playing is actually quite fun, another dream state I find I'm talking to radio talk back host Phillip Adams.



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12 Mar 2011, 6:21 am

My daydreaming is more in the way of making up visual stories in my head with a specific location and period. So in a way it is kind of like that. I talk to rock stars a lot in my head too. I'm just practicing for when I can meet up with them again.


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wornways
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12 Mar 2011, 7:20 am

I used to, but I haven't thought about it for some time. I do recognize that there is a constant sort of dialog going on between my ears, but it has steadily wound down over the years--mostly as an exercise of mindfulness--and now it's like I'm literally just talking to myself. As in, not talking to a separate entity within, but talking to just my listening self. I still ask questions, "Do you think this is a good idea?" Answers can be anything, "No, probably not," "Sure, why not?" "Yes, absolutely, you should do this because ...", "Well, it could result in ...", "Are you sure you want to deal with ...", etc.

But, it really once used to feel like a separate entity. Today it just doesn't. It feels really like another more detached and objective aspect of my good old self. Not sure how to explain it better. And for the record, I don't know if I'm an Aspie. But from what I've been reading, it certainly seems like a solid conclusion.



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12 Mar 2011, 7:47 am

I do it a lot. Sometimes I imagine a real person. I think that this is a bad thing. It is a form of obsessing. It is a way of trying to force a person to behave in a way that is comprehensible to me. I realize now that I need to stop obsessing about such things. Some people will always be a bit incomprehensible to me. Some people will never listen to me, and will never understand what I am trying to say.

At other times, the person that I am talking to is more abstract. This is a good thing, I believe. It allows me to rehearse my thoughts, so that I will be ready for an actual conversation. This too can be a form of obsession, and I have to try not to let it take over my life.


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