Would you want your kids to be autistic at all?

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Ok, so as far as I have read, people with ASD do have a significantly increased risk of having kids with ASD. My question is, would this effect anyone's decision to have kids or not? Would having an autistic child matter to you? What is the general opinion of people around here?

I'd rather they just be NT, but if they're autustic, I don't mind.

If mine has it in the future, it better be mild.

But so far he is normal. So obviously it didn't effect my decision.

If I ever have a kid I would want it to be NT. Overall being aspie has caused me nothing but trouble. I would like it to have the chance to do all the things that I'm too much of a freak to be able to do.

I have to agree with you on this one. I would never wish what I went thru growing up on anyone. But if I did have a kid with Aspergers at least I would be better equipped point him/her in the right direction having gone thru growing up with Aspergers.

I wouldn't wish the more negative traits on anyone, but I believe that there is something genetically important about autism and thus wouldn't be upset about taking part in its persistence.

I wouldn't be happy with it. No kid should have to grow up with the sorts of experiences nearly all of us had to put up with.

HFA. I would be able to bring him/her up to speed about social problems VERY QUICKLY and make his life way easier. His learning will be supported by my experiences and his knowledge and wisdom will surpass his peers'.

My only obstacle is my own way of learning. If a 50year old me appeared and started teaching me then I would be able to learn a whole deal very quickly.

This is an opinionated thread, and I respect the diverse views it represents.

Here is my opinion.

My wife and I have two sons. One is a teenager, the other is in grade school. Our teenage son is probably an Aspie, but has not been diagnosed. He is getting along very well. Our grade school age son is diagnosed with Asperger's and received an IEP from our school in autism. He receives some help from some programs the school offers---speech class, etc. Other than that, he is mainstreamed. I am the father, and I have Asperger's.

My wife and I had not heard of Asperger's when we had our children. Would it have mattered? Not in the least. I can honestly say that had I been diagnosed with Asperger's before we had children, I would have looked forward to the possibility of having Aspie children. As it turned out, they are Aspie like me. When we took our grade school age son to the child psychiatrist and the diagnosis was given of Asperger's---I felt like celebrating. In fact, we went out to dinner with him to a really nice restaurant and felt happy.

I personally would not want NT children. Why? Because I have obviously had Asperger's all my life---it's what I am used to. I relate well to my Aspie children---and they relate well to me. My wife is NT---but is more of the introverted type in many ways---so she is accustomed to this as well. She married me after having dated me for nearly 7 years---she knew I was highly eccentric---she loves me, and I love her.

Our children come home bouncing off the walls over exciting discoveries thay have made with their special intense interests. The happiness I see in them is often more than I see with the NT kids of their same age. With the social awkwardness at work, our Aspie children focus more on interests like I do. And those interests are fun...interesting...and exciting. They really enjoy life. They are so motivated by their interests. They do well in school. They have also found friends that are more like them.

So...if we were to become pregnant again (which is highly unlikely), then I would want another child on the autism spectrum. That is my opinion.

Even before hearing about asperger's, and knew what it was, I had remarked that I wanted to have a kid someday, but I don't know if I could because I couldn't take seeing him/her go through what I had. I'd asked if "being a reject" is genetic.

Now, of course I know that what I named myself as a "reject" was asperger's... which apparently has genetic links... it does scare me... though after talking it over with my husband I think my being aware, as others have said, will aide in making my child's life a little less horrible than mine was.

I still don't know if I can handle watching my kid go through what I did... is that selfish? empathy?

shaybugz. perhaps you should imagine if you could somehow affect your child's childhood by the way you parent. By being more understanding and being able to relate to him/her. I believe most of our childhood pain was due to misunderstandings and miscommunication.

nosirrom- am trying to think of it like that... and I think you are right. certainly I don't think school would have been so bad if I had a mother who understood as opposed to saying I "lacked common sense" and should just "try harder to get along with people" (as if I ever bulllied anyone or even said a mean comment))

If I ever have children I would rather they not go through the same troubles that I did, but I doubt that they would have it as bad due to a parent who understands better what they are going through. I guess I care less whether or not my kid was an aspie or NT.

Even if I did have Aspie or Autistic children, I would never be able to relate or have compassion for them. Look at my dad. He clearly shows signs of AS yet he insults me, demeans me, and has absolutely no sympathy for what I have to deal with as someone who was actually diagnosed with it.

As sympathetic as we are with others who have AS, I don't think it's possible to maintain that kind of sympathy around children you would have to raise and be stuck with for at least 18 years. Maybe for a few hours a day on average but anymore than that I would start to lose my cool.

I have AS with Depression, Anxiety, and Insomnia. There's also been serious (non-Manny Misdiagnosis) talk of ADD but that hasn't really been official.

Of my 4 kids...
1 has ADHD and Social Anxiety Disorder, complete with hand-flapping.
2 has AS and is showing signs of Depression and Insomnia
3 is pretty hyper, aggressive, and advanced... all of which are good things
4 is showing big signs of ODD and possible Dyslexia, but there's a puzzle with him because his defiant behavior is only at home, never at school or church.

My second child struggles with almost all of the same struggles I had in day to day life. However, he gets important advantages I never had:
1 - a public school district full of professional adults who work to make sure he gets the best care so that he learns successfully;
2 - a mother and step-dad who acknowledge the condition and work with the school as a team to make sure he gets everything he needs; and
3 - a mother who knows exactly what he's going through and he can connect with her on a level that's just for them

Life will be easier for my son than it was for me because he's receiving incredible help and support. My oldest has impressive study habits and excellent focused behavior in class that probably outshine most college students, let alone his middle school peers, because he knows this is what he needs to do to be successful.

But if I had a choice, I would've chosen for all of them to be neuro-typical. Now, I have to honestly help my 11 year-old second son take his prescribed sleeping pill so insomnia doesn't keep him up all night tonight. Yeah, NT would be better. Poor kid. I wish he could go to sleep to something else. I just need the sound of water. I hate taking medicine.

I believe this is an excellent point. Although Asperger's wasn't in the American vocabulary when I grew up, I was still thought of as highly eccentric and wrapped up in my world. My parents supported me in this. As my interests grew in music, they saw to it to support me by buying me an electronic organ. I spent hours a day playing it. Rather than my father (who had once played professional baseball for the Pittsburgh Pirates) trying to get me to play ball, he bragged to his friends about my musical abilities. My mother built my confidence. With their support I became successful because they allowed me to pursue my interests. On vacations, they often built the trips around amusement parks since I have always been a roller coaster enthusiast.

I feel if you support your children this way, then amazing things can happen. Our youngest son (diagnosed Aspie like me) has been interested in trains. He stated he would like to ride in a caboose someday. I immediately reserved a private caboose on an expedition train for this year's upcoming vacation---when school is out. He doesn't know about this---I hope he is really surprised. I know my checkbook was surprised---but you will do many things for your children. We just have to support them.