How does Autism set you apart from everyone else?

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well I have a harder time making freinds and also I dont really go out like a typical person does. and also I have some issues exepretions my emotions so it hard to do that sometimes

Even though I have a fairly easy time making friends (now at least - in the past it was next to impossible), it's very difficult for me to keep them because too much social contact makes me mentally exhausted (even if it's just over the Internet), and I also have severe trust issues, though that is a combination of both my nature and past experiences.

I have retained much of my childlike innocence into adulthood, which is reflected in the fact that I spend the majority of my time in my imaginary world with my imaginary friends, things I should have given up years ago according to society. Unfortunately, being childlike does have its downsides, such as being emotionally immature (according to one person I am mentally around the age of 12 - 15) and being extremely naive and gullible.

I also "stim", which in my case means pacing/running around with my music on while I daydream, and I also have palilalia, a verbal tic where I keep repeating things that I say.

We have a lot in common! I am 26 (I notice that you're only 20 years old) but I also stim a lot ..including but not limited to pacing and sometimes jumping up and down...and I daydream/spend long periods of time in my imaginary world. I am very emotionally immature. I am a uni student and people at school are so shocked when I tell them my age.

I'm not sure it's extreme enough to be considered palilalia but when I say a word or phrase that I like the sound of I do repeat it to myself over and over again. I don't repeat words or phrases in public in front of others though ( and I can stop myself from doing it). However when I was little I did this a lot in public and private. It was one of the early sign of autism my mother noticed.

I don't find it easy to make friends though. I do have one close friend and have recently made another. I enjoy spending time with them one on one. I find socializing in groups very exhausting......

How does Autism set you apart from everyone else?

As a robot is set apart from a monkey.


I am more of a cyberchimp these days, but a definit robot in my younger years.

I try not to hear the non-verbal messages in social gatherings, because if I hear one, I hear them all. It takes a great deal of concentration to isolate the message meant for me, and to decode it, if I can. By the time I have formed a guess as to what that person might have said to me the moment to reply is long, long gone.

Saves a lot of frustration to simply not hear any of them.

The cost of that comfort is being set apart.

dp

I have one friend but I'm not that interested in people.

I sort of feel like there is wall separating me from connecting to anyone.

I'm in my imagination a lot too. Recently it's been really intense.

I need to have routines and check my daily tasks off on a list. Need to!

I talk more to my cats than to people.

I get in moods where I act more child-like/hyper.

My emotions are mostly internal, rarely vocalised.

Then there's all my sensory issues. I stim a lot too.

I think I see the world in an entirely different way. In much more detail and I experience everything at once. So much is going on I pay little attention to people and what they are saying or expressing through body language. Sometimes I barely have the energy to be nice to people.

Meltdowns.

I sometimes feel like I'm on the ground, and everyone else (and their words, interactions, and thoughts) are up in the sky somewhere, barely visible to me, and I'm even less visible to them as they don't even think that a person below their clouds can even exist, let alone... yeah.

Define who everyone else is?

My therapist keeps suggesting to me that I've made connections with other people, but I've found I don't really know what this means or if it's ever actually happened. When I feel at my best around other people it's usually in relation to something I love doing and not necessarily the people themselves.

I do talk to a lot of people and get along well with them, and I would even say I like them well enough and they seem to like me, but I do not think the connection is there. I don't know if they feel a connection. I don't know what a connection is.

Edit: I should add that this lack of knowing isn't bothering me all that much. It's more a source of confusion than distress. I prefer to spend most of my time researching or discussing my interests than most anything else. I have tried to get into relationships, but I found it difficult to be around people that much.

Last edited by Verdandi on 27 Feb 2011, 2:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

My obsession to collect informations on everything and high focus when I work on something. It gives me the ability to innovate in my domaine because I think out of the box and always see solutions when others sees failure.

As a kid I cried a lot about everything, had an insane case of perfectionism to where i got extremely upset if I didn't do something "right" on a test or something, and wore solid primary colors because i had the brights and patterns others wore. Everyone hated me and/or made fun of me. On the positive side, my academic test scores were off the charts! I am an academic all-star who can get interviews from stellar renowned places but not a job above near minimum wage to save my life.

Nowadays I fit in fine walking around day-to-day and am taken as shy. Really just have acquaintances more than friends though. Thanks to AS I meet people all the time and at first they socialize with me like others, but after as little as an hour total of different conversations I somehow get "found out." When the questions like how many friends do you have, are you like really close to your brother (most stories involve him since I don't have many friends), how old are you again, etc. I know time's about up. Then its gets awkward and they start looking away, never talk to me again other than to say hi, bye It's like when you know you're talking to a child by the way they talk and what they choose to talk about I guess. But, well, thanks to AS/ experience I can not talk to hardly anyone for a month and be ok. Seriously, stick me in the capsule to mars with a few books and dvds and I'd be cool.

I used to think thanks to AS no one wants to go out with me. But actually, tt would be, in theory, easier for me to have a boyfriend than a friend if I wasn't such an idiot. A guy starts walking along with me on the way to places, invites me to things, I am always dumb and think he wants to be my friend. I don't get the hint, don't send off whatever signals I'm supposed to send back to show interest, and the guy thinks he's been rejected and quits being my "friend." In retrospect, with the help of others, I realize I have been an idiot. It is sad but after my last idiot move with offending this guy I thought was a work friend (we'd just go to lunch sometimes and talk, nothing else, but he would go find me at work and call me, even take a different route so we went home the same way sometimes so yes it was dumb) my brother asks about what I've done on weekends and informs me when I am "going out" with someone. lol.

I cry over trivial things aka not knowing where or how to begin on a major assignment, or if I am really behind on school work.

I am afraid to ask for help, nor do I like asking for help.
Might be due to a deep-rooted fear of "sounding stupid"
****these 1st two are deeply intertwined

I get excited and/or happy over small things, like taking the bus on my usual/not-so-usual commutes and saying hi to the usual drivers (whom are quite friendly and sociable in my small city), trips to Starbucks on weekends, etc.

Meltdowns/"spazzes" (mostly while ALONE) over cutting my nails wrong, hair blowing in my face, wind whistling in my ears, screaming children/babies, getting cat hair all over my dark clothing, unorganized shelves and things scattered on my floor plus not knowing where to begin in taking care of it.

I hate to say it, but I may be more naive and gullible than I think...
I like to see the good in everyone, especially the ones perceived by most as "grumpy old bags"

I do not view children as little darlings, and to top that off, I am very often viewed as an as*hole for expressing that fact AND for feeling that way. (which is why I never say it, 'xept for here)
In general, I don't really like kids... unless they are being real sweet and well behaved, then I don't mind them TOO much...

I need VERY BLUNT instructions for doing new tasks.

I have earned patents in high-tech due to the fact that I can think outside of the box
I am employed in high-tech industry because I can focus and have the patience to learn
I have the time to explore new things because I do not have the need to socialize
I am highly proficient as a classical guitarist
I am a respected athlete due to my in depth/rounded knowledge of the inner workings of the body, nutrition and training
I was able to raise two girls single-handedly with consistency, logic and unfaltering love

I live alone on a 40-acre farm because I HAVE to have quiet and alone time
I cannot hang out in social groups with my football team no matter how much I would like to because it wears me out
I get into trouble all the time due to social type of mistakes
I cannot maintain any intimate realations because I cannot give an NT emotionally what they need
I look like a butch/lesbian/frumpy older woman in a world where looks are everything
I cannot (am incapable) shop for things like clothing/furniture/etc
I have to systemize my entire life to function at the leve I currently do and it wears me out sometimes
If I do manage to go to an event (such as a Blazer's basketball game), I generally spend the next day in bed resting

I'm very socially isolated. I don't know how to make friends or initiate/strengthen relationships with people or get into cliques at work or somewhere else. I almost never socialize with anyone except my husband (who I suspect is on the spectrum too). I have terrible social skills and am very untalkative and withdrawn.

I have a lot of sensory issues, which make it difficult for me to go to many places. Sunlight, bright daylight and fluorescent lights are all very painful for me. The smell of tobacco smoke, coffee and beer make me nauseous. I have sensory issues with sounds too. I get overwhelmed or uncomfortable if there is too much sensory information around me, so many public places make me feel unwell or exhaust me quickly, so I spend a lot of time at home, where I have more control over my sensory environment.

I stim a lot. I stim with my feet most of the day and in evenings and rock back and forth and try to put pressure on my body to soothe myself.

I like some things that most people would find childish. I have many plush animals and always sleep with some of them and I like holding them and hugging them a lot at home. I also love watching cartoons, reading Donald Duck, playing with Lego and more.

I learn at a much faster pace than most people and usually "get" things long before anyone else does.

I organize myself very much and organize/plan almost everything I do and everything around me. I like order. I'm also very fast and effective at many things, so I tend to get things done a lot faster than others.

I get original, "outside the box" ideas that other people wouldn't think of. People get pleasantly surprised all the time by my ideas and ask me how I come up with them, claiming they would never have thought of them. I solve a lot of problems with such apparently unusual ideas.

I don't usually get excited, upset or emotional about the same kinds of things as other people. For example I never understand how my colleagues can get so excited if someone brings a baby or a new pair of shoes to work or if they're planning a party, but they don't get why I get excited when someone brings a dog or when I get to organize something.

I like repetitiveness. I like listening to the same song over and over again, even for hours. If I discover a new tasty food item I feel like eating it every day or at least really often for a long time afterwards. If I have a new DVD that I really like I'll watch it over and over again in a short period of time. If I enjoy a trip to the zoo or the theatre I wish I could go again in a matter of days.

I could go on all day about things that set me apart from neurotypicals.

Aside from complete isolation and being unemployed having Autism has made me the butt-monkey of friends, classmates, family and just anyone I come across. I take anything seriously, they tease me. I open my mouth to say something, they tease me. I stay quiet they tease me. Just looking at me gives people a reason to tease. I feel like I have a huge sign on my head saying "not entitled to ANY dignity".

Is it any wonder I'm isolating myself from people so much these days?