NEVER forgive people

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Is it an aspie thing to be unforgiving? I am SUPER unforgiving. There is innocent looking girl at my school and she has done many mean things to me and people wonder why I can't forgive her. However, she never forgives me and people are OK with that. Probably because she is more innocent looking than me.

I tend to forgive people for big things, but not little things. I'd forgive someone if they called me an alcoholic or pinched me, but not if they stuck their tongue out at me.

What about you?

I forgive people only if they show signs of change, true remorse, that kind of thing. But I also don't dwell on grudges - I'm just going to take that behavior into account in future encounters.

if she is sticking her tongue out at you she may like you(and not be able to admit it for whatever reason) or be doing it playfully.

forgiving people can be hard but it is better than wasting your energy and thoughts being angry at them over something trivial. it doesn't bother people that much when someone is holding a grudge against them, it bothers the person holding the grudge more. have you tried talking to her, maybe outside of school where she has to 'be cool' and away from her friends?

That doesn't sound like an inability to forgive in that situation - it sounds like self preservation. That girl has given you reason to remain suspicious. How many times are you supposed to allow her to hurt you?

No she isn't. Every time I talk to her, she gives me a dirty look. She doesn't have any friends, she doesn't don't to be cool. I don't think she is NT.

I have tried to be friends with her. Really. It didn't work, she just spent the whole time getting mad at me because I have a high tolerance to pain and that bothers her. See how unreasonable? If she punched me, I'd forgive her immediately. I know this society considers it "bad" to enjoy pain, but I do.

I don't consciously forgive or not forgive but I naturally am wary around people who I have had a bad experience with.

I forgive, sometimes far too easily. It's too draining for me not to.

I don't know about never forgiving, but I have been known to hold a grudge for far longer than most people would and do it for relatively inconsequential things.

I'm also very forgiving. I wasn't always this way, but I am now.

whoah whoah buddy hold on. thats pretty racy talk for these forums. you dont want to get modded, or sent to "adult". but that thing about the tongue was pretty sexy.

Well, it is your choice whether to forgive someone or not.

Sometimes our culture is so obsessed with forgiveness it's treated as a right the offending party has regardless of whether said party has made any effort to apologize or even acknowledged a wrong was done. Heck, I've even had people try to forgive other people FOR me when I've made it perfectly clear I most emphatically did not forgive that person for threatening my life, striking me, and in other ways make my life a living hell for a long period of time. Especially since said person was still doing it and had made no effort to stop.

It offended me that someone took such liberties and since then I've made it abundantly clear that my forgiveness is mine to give, it's not other people's god-given inalienable right nor is it there for third parties to give without my permission. Forgiveness isn't something you can just take from someone as though it were their lunch money, it's something that can only ever be freely given. It doesn't mean I don't forgive people, I have most certainly forgiven people for things that hurt me a great deal. But if they never apologize, don't stop hurting me and never even admit that it was wrong I don't owe them even acknowledging their presence, let alone forgiveness.

I rarely hold grudges. Nor to I get angry easily.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
- Mark Twain

I forgive everyone, far too easily - I've actually had friends STOP me from forgiving people in the past (because the people in question really didn't deserve to be forgiven)...I just don't like the effort that goes into not forgiving people.

I tend to be forgiving but there are things I don't forgive about.

forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to forget what they did or be friends with them again. it means you aren't angry or upset with them. you can forgive them and still chose not to ignore them when you see them walk by. if she's not doing it cause she likes you maybe she's doing it because she knows it bothers you. if that is the case ignoring it and don't mention it to people would be the best thing to do. then there is nothing in it for her anymore and she will eventually give up. there is no use staying upset over something you have no control over, like someone else acting weird. maybe just say to yourself(not out loud), 'that's weird. she must have issues.' or something like that and move on.