therapists and eye contact

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Why when doctors/therapists, know/suspect you have aspegers, and they can see you dont like eye contact, and keep trying to look away, do they stare at you like their lives depend on it? would it be so hard for them to pretend they're interested in their notes or something, just to make it easier for us? and why do they allways look at you like they feel sorry for you? >:( when im talking to someone i like to sit side by side rather than face on. why do they never sugest this?

I think that is a good thing for you to suggest.

It sounds like you NT doctor is trying to empathize with you... to an Aspie, it just looks like pity. Just remember, your doctor is a paid service professional. Feel free to make these suggestions directly to him! It might end up being a very interesting session and he might learn something...

Maybe you need a therapist familiar with AS. My therapist doesn't force eye contact, she doesn't give me the "pity" look (I do know what you mean), and she is familiar with AS and other ASDs. She sees both adults and kids and actually works with a lot of AS kids in the school system.

Just my 2 cents.

~Kate

I can give eye contact but I guess I look down a lot. I've been told I do this deer in the headlights stare too. Ever since this came up I've been obsessed with it and can't stop analyzing it. It's finally starting to wear down a bit.
I don't look at the guy, or have much eye contact, with the guy I see very much. He doesn't force it. He does sit across from me but we sort of sit at an angle.
The social worker I saw before him had me draw and I would mostly always just look down and talk. She eventually tried to force it. I think I even told her face to face conversation with her felt aggressive.

Usually, I make mental notes to make eye contact. I make mental notes to stop eye contact so it doesn't turn into creepy or interested (I've been accused of hitting on someone I'd NEVER even flirt with just because I didn't break eye contact when I should have).

When I'm with my therapist, Manny Misdiagnosis, I don't do any preparation anymore because I'm sick of people thinking I'm more functioning than I am and can't have AS because I don't have this one obscure symptom that they read in their college textbook once. I try to shut off my running internal monologue. I'm just natural, dysfunctional aspie me. I look at the corner of the back of his monitor when I'm trying to find the words for a question he asked me, I'm picking at my clothes to an extent that I'm paying more attention to that than I am to him, I'm thinking about everything else in the world and allow my anxiety level to get out of control because he asked me where my anxiety is on a scale of 0-none to 10-jump-out-a-window. (The answer is always 9.) I tell him truthful things at odd times because they matter to me at that moment. "The lights in this room are too bright.", "I don't like this chair.", "This office has no windows. Aren't you claustrophobic or depressed in here?", "I wasn't listening. I heard people talking in the hallway.", "Why do you hide your award behind your plant?" Manny Misdiagnosis no longer thinks I have ADD.

Manny wants to do a mock job interview next session. I'm going to say "No." He thinks it's a marvelous idea. I don't think so. I'm stressed out enough talking to him and I'm stressed out enough at job interviews. Nothing good can come from having a mock interview with Manny Misdiagnosis.

One thing you have to consider is that your therapist is searching for body language cues from you. Without eye contact, your therapist might feel at a loss because he's probably grown accustomed to relying on eye contact as a primary cue. He will have to consider your condition and accommodate your preferences. You need to feel comfortable enough to open up and be honest with your therapist. If his insistence on making eye contact is interfering with your ability to share, he needs to know this. Discuss this with him directly.