How to respond to ignoramuses

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Some time ago I took the elevator upstairs to put my stuff near my locker when a girl in my class approached me and said "I notice you're always outside the group. Why do you seclude yourself? Why don't you try hanging out with a group you don't usually hang out with?"

She doesn't know I have HFA (High Functioning Autism. Last year I didn't have as many social problems as I do now) so I can't blame her, but how do I respond to this? I don't want her to know I have HFA, but I don't want this girl to judge me for being "antisocial".

Has anyone ever faced a similar issue (I'm sure SOME of you have)

Just smile and say "Thanks for the advice!" Then give a little wave and walk away, casually.

Incendiary devices and large caliber fire arms.

I suppose that would be an inappropriate overreaction.

Maybe ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo has the better approach.

Haha, I like the firearms idea. Wish we were allowed to carry swords around.

People. ARGH!

I can appreciate you not wanting one of your peers to know that you have HFA. For me, however, I am sick of people not understanding why I act and do things the way I do. As such I often tell people the first chance I get that I have Asperger's.

It gives me a certain level of comfort knowing that people I am around know that I have Asperger's. I feel like I am more able to be myself when the people I am around know the reason as to why I act as I do.

Granted your situation differs greatly from my own but, I am sure you can appreciate the frusturation involved in people misinterpreting the things you say and the way you say them and then judging you because of it. I just cut to the chase in order to avoid being harshly criticized, labeled and then pushed away prematurely. I find myself an incredibly thoughtful person and it saddens me that most of the people I have came into contact with push me away before getting a chance to get to know me. I have came to realize that it doesn't take much to alienate someone. By letting someone know off the bat that I have Asperger's I have found I am given more of a fighting chance of becoming a better friend with them (granted this can backfire to).

Wish I had some helpful, insightful advice for you :/ I wish you the best of luck

She's just concerned, which is a good thing. It means she is probably compassionate and usually compassionate people don't judge as much, so I wouldn't worry about it. She is probably outgoing and can't fathom why someone would want to be outside the group.

Usually when someone tells me I'm being anti-social or being "too quiet" I just smile and say "I'm just shy" and that gets them off my back.

@Daina

I don't get along with this girl, so it would surprise me that she would feel any concern for me. As for the "outgoing" aspect, my friends say she thinks she has friends but doesn't. I'm not sure how to interpret this.

@Rippercase

Only two of my friends know I have HFA. They said they never suspected it but I cannot tell whether it was the truth or not. I don't want to be one of those people that use their disorder as an excuse for everything. My friend/former friend is incredibly hyper, childish and has ADHD. I'm not trying to generate a stereotype about those with the same disorder, but I find she makes ADHD an excuse for everything. "(Given name) can you shut up?" "Nope, I have ADHD." "Can you calm down?" Previous excuse used. She takes a pill. Anyway, this is beside the point. I don't want people to judge me because of my HFA. I imagine them thinking that I can't at least TRY to be social. I think that if they knew, they would come up with preconceived notions about me or say "But you don't/ aren't (place stereotype about Autism/Asperger's here), you CAN'T be autistic." Either that or they would say "You don't HAVE to act so weird". You get what I'm saying?

As for her. begging for friends is so Junior High.

People go to school for the old idea, getting an education, going to the University, or, for the party this weekend, and a large and changing social network. Only the education lasts and is of value.

"We should get together sometime and do extra credit math problems."

Geek or social is as far as they think. No HFA needed, then you would have to explain that FFA are the ones who raise animals for show, FHA loans money to farmers, while HFA are the ones who chose the future based on the past. Do not even try. Even here, HFA are like snowflakes, each a perfect pattern, no two alike.

ooOoOoAnaOoOoOoo has the best plan, it works, and if there was some real interest, it shows this is not an easy tree to climb. It does not block a stronger effort to get to know you, and it does protect from the, just seeing what they can get away with, types.

Labels aside, humans have limited worlds, chose your own.

Not knowing you, tomboywriter101, I could not tell if Sports or English were your world, and who you would chose for friends. I do know you should do the chosing.

Labeling them and their friends ignoramuses shows something, something you should not express openly. A wall of social politeness is the best protection.

my response would be "Why do you care?" and walk of without waiting for an answer.