Sorry for the long post. I seem to ramble like this.
Lately I have been getting really close with this girl at school. I met her in September on the second day of school. It started like most of my relationships. Talking only when we are in a class together and even then not saying much. I thought she was a real interesting person but considering my past experiences I didnt think much of it.
Things started to change last week. We got back from Christmas break, which was a very different one than ussual, and I had decided to make a few changes to my life after witnessing something was nothing like what I had seen before. Well apparanty she seemed to notice some sort of change in me (an NT thing?). I told her that the only thing I could think that changed was my thought process so to speak, a change in my demeanor. I said basically I had decided to "be more me". She said that was good then turned back and and asked sincerely for the first time in my life "who are you?".
Well as you can imagine that got me thinking. So I decided to write a letter to her, though at the time having no intention of actually giving it to her, partially explaining who I was. Then a couple of days later I actually gave it to her. I wasnt expecting her to reply to it, I just wanted for once to explain why I am who I am to someone.
The next day ,Friday, We walked by each other in the hallway and we said hello as usual but this time she asked me to wait because she had something for me. I was surprised when she handed me a letter apparantly responding to one I had given her the previous day. I read it during lunch in the library (where I spend every lunch). It was the most touching thing anyone has ever done. I remeber the exact words she used when she told me she cared. But the most impressing part was the end. She told me if I ever wanted to talk I could call her followed by her number.
I was not expecting her to reply at all so you can tell I was blown away at the fact that she left her number for me to call her. I was not sure what to do. I wanted to call her but like many of you I have a strange phobia of talking on the phone. I decided I should try to talk to her on Sunday so at least I had a topic to talk about, the weekend. t took half an hour but I got the courage to actually hit talk on the phone. As soon as I heard her say it was her all my anxiety faded. I felt strangely comfortable and we had a very good talk despite a few akward moments. We talked for two hours. My longest phone call before that had been ten minutes most of which was spent on hold while trying to order a pizza (Thank goodness for online ordering). She then called me on wednesday night and we talked for at least three hours.
Well this brings me to my question/problem. I am not sure what to do. I have been even more confused than normal. This has by far been the best friendship I have ever had. I have talked to her more this past week than most everyone else in my life. I know that I obviously like her. I want to tell her great a friend she is and that how important she is, but
I dont want her to feel uncomfortable. I definitely dont know if I could tell her that I like her as more than a friend. I dont want to lose this great friend but I feel like we could be more than just good friends.
I guess what Im asking is what if anything should I tell her? Should I maybe push things a little or let things happen? Any help would great;y appreciated.
13 Jan 2005, 4:49 pm
