Ways Of Thinking And Emotions

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I have been confused if I am just crazy or it's a Aspie trait that everything I do is calculating,systematic,meticulous and methodical.I am not trying to be something I am not but I always felt machine or alien like as if everything about society has to be taught to me and the more I observe the more I can blend in with NT's.The other things I don't understand is why can't I show emotion good or come across as very stoic and why is the way I am focused not really accepted by most NT's?

hiya T800Thinker and welcome to la cosa aspie nostra
the only think i can come up with, is that feeling people and thinking people tend toward different spheres. you would well to choose [primarily] thinking people similar to yourself to hang around with, and if some of them happen to be NTs then that is also good.

Hi.

Systematic thinking is familiar to me.

I analyse everything in my environment according to a complex internal structure of categories and variables.

When NT people find this way of thinking uncomfortable, I suspect it is because they perceive it as sterile, "rationalizing" (in a psychologically avoidant way), pedantic, or critical/negative.

For example: if I notice that a component is out of alignment, to me, this is just an observation without an emotional content. I find it interesting and relevant to notice such things.
However, for many people, it is considered rude to point out inconsistencies. Also, the observation is considered negative, critical, or that the speaker is asserting their dominance by being "right" and making the other "wrong".

Another aspect is that: because I am keenly observant, other people feel defensive, as if I am judging them. Which I am not.

As far as emotions are concerned, I think that has to do with connections between bodily sensations and the mind: physical "feelings" and emotional "feelings". My sensory world is very complex and I have difficulty identifying and expressing emotional feelings, because I have difficulty defining physical feelings.

So, yes it is somewhat confusing, but very unlikely that you are crazy.