Can you ever grow out of aspergers?

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Ok, so until I was almost 20, I showed a lot of signs of aspergers. But nowadays I feel like I show very few signs and have become a lot more NT. So I was wondering if you could grow out of aspergers, or if maybe I was just socially inadept for other reasons that could present themselves in aspie-like ways, and just figured out how to be adept at it. Or, does there come a time, while although you still process things differently, you have learned how to "translate" everything into NT so well that it almost seems natural. Kind of like how you can learn a second language and after you spend enough time in the country you become very adept at it, even if you were not raised speaking it.

For instance
Until I was 20:
-I didn't look people in the eye,
-didn't talk much
-stimmed
- didn't understand other people, or their emotions and reactions to things
-Overwhelmed my senses at places like the mall or Walmart if they were crowded
-had to recharge my social battery
-had certain interests that I would read about and research for months at a time
-shutdown
-did not develop friendships with peers (though that didn't matter because I didn't care about people at that time)
-was very aloof
-had to get everything right
-Was very literal
-Extremely clumsy
And other things too. When I first heard about autism years ago I would have described myself as having a mild form of that, if I had talked, that is.

I was an easy child though because I was also very passive about everything. Even if I was really uncomfortable with something I would still do it because I was told to. I never wanted to make a scene, never wanted anyone to know if I were sad, concerned, or upset about anything. Even when I was a small child, I didn't cry when my mother left me at a nursery or something, I just hid under the table. But I could tell when an adult was upset with me, and tried my best to make sure no one ever was.
Pretty much who I was was completely blank as far as others could tell.

And then when I was about to turn 20, I "became human" according to my mom. I decided I was tired of being like I was. I began to read books about human behavior, forced myself to be around others and get used to it, and started watching tv to observe how some others behave.
Now I do understand most of the time when someone is joking or not being literal. I can read some emotions, and have learned how to pick up and read certain situations. I can make small talk with most people and share myself I make eye contact with people and am no longer afraid to do that unless I am really tired. But anyways, mostly I feel pretty socially adept now. And although I stim like nobody's business and crowds do still bother me, I don't feel my senses are over reactive.
Much to Mom's chagrin, I'm not as passive anymore which means I do have my own mind as don't let people run over me anymore. But it is worth it because I am also closer emotionally to them.
I even spent a whole week with 67 people and only got overwhelmed once, which I was able to keep under wraps until I was somewhere safe.

So yeah, what do you think?

I suspect you're more an autistic person who has learned a lot of skills to understand things a lot better than you used to... and that is a really great thing to be, even if you're not necessarily nonautistic for having learned it all.

We've just begun finding interventions for my son that worked, but what you describe is essentially true for myself and my husband (we both have degrees in theater, guess why) and it's part of the interventions that are working for my son as well. I am grateful that all three of us have the capacity to learn such complex things cognitively.

I think one of the reasons childhood is so difficult for kids on the spectrum is that their peers and all the social skills they learned so painstakingly change every time the children reach another developmental milestone. Adulthood is a little more static, and a little easier to manage. School, also - not something designed for Aspies (though it is a good place to have exposure to socialization - if you can manage it in a reasonable way) since it's such a generalist environment where specialist minds don't really fit.

Good for you. I think your experience is not due to "growing out" of Aspergers, but rather is a testament to the hard work you have put in learning cognitively what other people learn intuitively. Don't discount the gift of a mind that is able to process something so complex and intricate (so much so that many people who do it easily can't describe it at all.)

Your next task is to find a way of life that honors that gift.

I suspect likewise, I hope you're proud of your achievement Daina because you have a right to be proud of yourself and the work you put in.

You can certainly learn social skills and coping mechanisms and you might become good enough at implementing them that people might doubt that you have AS.

Yes, I've also learned passable social skills later in life.

Adolescence is a tough time to learn--it is tough for most NTs--and even tougher if you are "different" Good reason to learn early--if you are diagnosed and have that option.

I don't think you can "grow out of it" persay.

But I've discovered that the only serious things were secondary symptoms, at least for me.

Oversensitivity was secondary. I just had to figure out that oversensitivity happened when I focused too much on anything unsettling. Since all information processing involves our senses in some way sometimes I would even experience anxiety about what other people think as sound oversensitivity such as if a bunch of people were talking.

Passivity(not even a recognized symptom) and anxiety were secondary and based on worrying too much about what other people were thinking. Then I decided other people are responsible for their own feelings, so I'll just look out for #1. If it's that important to them they can come and talk to me. If I'm not good at reading other people's feelings why try anyways? The fun aspects of socializing don't involve that that much anyways. The things I find fun are speaking and games. I don't have to be a counselor.

Now those things are gone, permanently. I figured out the solution: Do what I want.

Yes and no. You can grow out of the criteria meaning you don't meet it anymore. But I think the symptoms will always be there. I don't think everything goes away fully. You can outgrow symptoms but not all of them. I have outgrown a lot of it myself and now I feel I hardly have it.