Aspies who don't want to change

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I know that Aspergers is a disorder, but sometimes it seems that some Aspies don't want to make any changes in their lives. I'm talking about Aspies who are rude and don't bother to learn proper social skills, dislike change to the point of throwing tantrum, talking about one-sided topic and just seem to be resistant to any changes. I know what I listed is few characteristics among those with Aspergers, but it seems that some Aspies expect the world to bend over their backs for them.

Flame on, but know I'm on the spectrum myself and actually bother to make changes to improve my life.

Some things I've been able to change: I've learned how to be more tactful and diplomatic - and I have good reason for this. That is, I do this because it is more likely to get me the social outcome that I want, but it is very easy for those skills to slip in any number of situations. I can keep them up for short periods of time, but over longer periods of time it becomes increasingly difficult and I say things that I will probably regret later. Does this reflect a lack of willingness to change or am I pushing my limits and becoming exhausted?

My inability to except change is the reason I am laid off for over a year from a job I had for 9 years. My job became redundent and I have a proven bad track record with the jobs that were left. I learned social manners because my parents would smack me for being rude I am now overly polite. Some people say its what they like about me.

That's strange. People who have a disorder which is known to cause rigidity and trouble with change, and they don't want to change?
Very very odd indeed.

Why the interest in what others do or not do?

I find the best approach is to mind my own business and look after my own affairs. Let others do as they wish.

*Pops head up from blanket* Change bad, dun want change, it's bad out there.

I actually have physical as well as mental reactions to change, varying from meltdowns, to stomach aches, depressed moods and panic.
I do know that I have to change but I know that it will have negative affects on me. I seem to shut down a lot too and get completely thrown off my routine. Routine = function. No routine = whatthebloodyhelldoIdonow?
One of my greatest fears is change beside of all the meltdowns and shutdowns I've had over it. Call it a tantrum and I will throw you in a sewer full of alligators and one crocodile. Crocodiles are heavy and more expensive to rent from the zoo so I can only afford to put one in there. But seriously I can't control meltdowns and when I hold them in my mind regresses and I can barely move and I have been known to loose speech. I also have a seizure disorder so that can pop up from time to time and interfere with my reading comprehension and grammar skills.
After I moved into a new room I had the most severe migraine ever. Almost felt like throwing up. Glad I didn't - I hate throwing up.

Sometimes it can be so stressful wanting to say the right thing so I give in and don't bother stopping myself for being rude or I get in a mood where it doesn't occur to me to correct my behaviour. I just feel like having fun and I don't consider the emotions of others. This isn't autism related, it could be ADHD or a result of being messed up from so many meds. But sometimes caring hurts more than being a little b****d. It'shard to control but. I have a screwed up brain.

I refuse to learn social skills on account that last time I did that I developed severe anxiety and then I began to regress, or at least my sensory issues got worse. It was a lot of things really that all happened around the same time in December last year. I am sometimes capable of talking to people but there are times when I will just turn off or refuse to take part because the stuff people talk about irritates me.

Although I am on the more classic side of autism and these days I feel like I'm losing my mind so I'm not always up for a bit of chitty chit chat.

Well my guess is changes are difficult, especially for those who weren't diagnosed until adulthood and didn't learn much social skills as kids. I am capable of proper conversations and adequate social skills, but not for long. It's an act and drains the life and energy out of me. I would do what's needed to get things done, then I need to be myself and relax. I already suffer from anxiety and I don't have a very stressful life. If I force myself to fake it all the time everyday I'd probably have a complete mental breakdown.

Sometimes an aspie can seem to have changed and improved their social skills temporarily, but it's from imitating others and aren't truly changes. I know my talking is much smoother and politer when I was around other social people. I mimic them well and can seem like one of them. However once I'm not with those people I seem to lose the smooth talking ability and revert back to my awkward self. Before I recognized this pattern I was utterly confused about why I can have perfect speech sometimes, and hardly able to put words together other times.

If I really need to have good smooth speech for something important, I can try to watch some very talkative movies or shows right before. It would temporarily improve the flow of my speech and I even get more variation in tones. It lasts no more than a few hours, though.

I sort of self-taught myself social skills in the past 3 years or so based on observing others and actually starting to understand what is expected socially, but I know that there is more work to do in that sense.
However, I'm now fairly happy with my personality, and have no real desire to change that.

It's all life i try to change myself.
I observe a lot how other people act, and it's like i noted NT behaviour. At age of 3 i understood that NT people like to stay in group, and so i tried to sit near some group of kids. somethimes i imitated typical NT behaviours. But it worked for little times. It's not my nature. After a bit of time i get bored, i have other interests. And there are things that i don't understand. Why people say 'hello' even if they don't know you?

It's hard to change, but for me try to change doesn't hurt.

This may be a little off topic, but I've changed my ways for the better two years ago in 2009. I'm not changing ever again, until the day that I die.

Wow really? I didn't even notice people were in the same room as me until I was five and then I just sort of ignored them.

THIS!

I think you should make changes if it's absolutely necessary. You need to know basic social skills to get by. That doesn't mean that you need to do backflips for people. Just do what you need to do to get by. I don't think it's fair to expect an aspie (or anyone) to make major changes like becoming more socially acceptable when it goes completely against their nature. I am conscientious and do try to think of others, but it's exhausting. It's so exhausting that it would drive me nuts if I tried to do it all the time. It doesn't make me rude, it makes me a person. I don't want to conform if I don't have to and if people are so stuck up that they simply cannot stand some of my eccentricities, then that's their problem and they can go f**k themselves.

I try to and want to, but I don't think my brain agrees.

Wow- You tried to imitate other kids and fit in at age 3. I was totally oblivious the other kids until I was 9 years old. In K and 1st grade, I didn't even notice the other kids in my class, let alone imitate them. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I started fourth grade that I was different and I got really upset when I got teased and bullied (I was being mainstreamed after spending the second half of 1st grade and all of grades 2 and 3 in special ed). When I was 12, I tried to imitate the "popular kids" because I was so sick of being bullied but it was disastrous and resulted in me being bullied more.

As far as trying to change, I try to modify my behavior enough to briefly pass for NT if the situation warrants it (job interview, hanging out w/ people I hardly know at all) but am my Aspie self (I try to stay polite though) around those who know me well.[i]

You just have to ask yourself what's worth changing. "Because everybody else does it this way" is not a sufficient reason. Because it hurts someone, or annoys someone, or because it hurts you or keeps you from learning--those are valid reasons. So is "because I don't like it this way". But don't change the way you do things just because NTs don't do them that way. It makes much more sense asking yourself which skills you need to do what you want, and working on those.

Wow, I expected a lot of people to get angry, but it seems that no one really did. I apologize for being ignorant and didn't realize how hard some aspies/auties really have it.