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Pandora_Box
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29 Mar 2011, 5:13 am

Anyone else driven up the wall when people try to hug you or touch you?

I am about two seconds from grabbing my grandmothers and even my own fathers hands and tying them behind them. I'm so tired of him and her trying to hug me. Or worse is when they try to pinch my cheeks. Yes, I know I'm in my twenties, but they think they have some right because they are family and because they are so cute or some bull like that.
They even poke me. I hate being poked most of all, it just plain hurts. I've had enough of these people trying to do things to me. I keep telling them I don't like it. I keep telling them I don't like being touched. Blah blah. But nothing comes to avail. Ergh. A hug once in a while is okay. But dad likes to bother me. Over and over and over again. Some form of hug, some form of physical touch, trying to move me, locking me up in his arms and forcing me to escape.

When I was a kid I use to run from this and go into what my parents called "Turtle Mode". I'd lie on the floor in fetal position. As an adult I go into "half turtle mode", where I seize my hands inwards and don't go all the way around to hug.

I just am going to explode if someone touches me. I've had it up to here with all this touching.

[lol..sounds so wrong]



keira
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29 Mar 2011, 6:18 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
Anyone else driven up the wall when people try to hug you or touch you?


YES!! ! It's just so annoying and frustrating. Is it so hard to understand that when I need a hug I ask for it. No need to hug me or touch me all the time :roll:
I wish they invented some device or something that could keep people away from touching us without really offending them :lol:



emlion
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29 Mar 2011, 6:24 am

Yep.
People generally only try it once though.



keira
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29 Mar 2011, 6:26 am

emlion wrote:
Yep.
People generally only try it once though.


How do you achieve that? :)



emlion
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29 Mar 2011, 6:27 am

death stare. haha.

no seriously, i just tell people straight up that if they touch me again without my permission they'll never see me again.
and it generally works.



Pandora_Box
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29 Mar 2011, 6:29 am

emlion wrote:
death stare. haha.

no seriously, i just tell people straight up that if they touch me again without my permission they'll never see me again.
and it generally works.


Its mostly my family.

I can't really say that to them.



keira
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29 Mar 2011, 6:30 am

emlion wrote:
death stare. haha.

no seriously, i just tell people straight up that if they touch me again without my permission they'll never see me again.
and it generally works.


hmmm.... I don't think that would work with my aunts and uncles :( I already avoid them as much as possible :D Maybe I should try the "death stare" :D



emlion
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29 Mar 2011, 6:32 am

ah i see.
i don't have family, so it's just people i meet.

i can see how it would be tricky with family.



keira
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29 Mar 2011, 6:38 am

One more thing that I really hate is people lifting me up :evil: I don't weight much so everyone feels like they're allowed to just lift me up or put me over their shoulders and just carry me around. It scares me but no matter how much I protest, scream or even swear - everyone finds it "amusing :evil:



Pandora_Box
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29 Mar 2011, 6:59 am

keira wrote:
One more thing that I really hate is people lifting me up :evil: I don't weight much so everyone feels like they're allowed to just lift me up or put me over their shoulders and just carry me around. It scares me but no matter how much I protest, scream or even swear - everyone finds it "amusing :evil:


This too.



zer0netgain
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29 Mar 2011, 7:08 am

Bothers me too.

However, I appreciate that intimacy involves physical contact. So, when someone wants to hug me and I don't consider the social situation to be inappropriate, I try to tolerate it.

I believe repeated expressions of intimacy can help increase your "comfort" with it...particularly with someone you actually like. So, I use these situations (I'm in my 40s now) to improve my "comfort zone" with physical contact.

Still makes my skin crawl...but I'm trying to grow.



Pandora_Box
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29 Mar 2011, 7:47 am

zer0netgain wrote:
Bothers me too.

However, I appreciate that intimacy involves physical contact. So, when someone wants to hug me and I don't consider the social situation to be inappropriate, I try to tolerate it.

I believe repeated expressions of intimacy can help increase your "comfort" with it...particularly with someone you actually like. So, I use these situations (I'm in my 40s now) to improve my "comfort zone" with physical contact.

Still makes my skin crawl...but I'm trying to grow.


Doesn't mean they have to do it all the time.

Maybe once. But not every freakin bloody second.



russian
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29 Mar 2011, 7:55 am

-I think of touch as purely sexual. I don't like anyone to touch me that I don't sleep with/ or want to. I don't like women to casually hug me. A girlfriend, fine. A random-you-need-a-hug-type, I'm thinking "go away." After 2 years in Korea my mom wanted to hug me at the airport and i felt strange.
-the other problem is if i do let the random girl touch me, I keep thinking about her like "does she want me? does she pity me? what is she thinking?" and so go quite mad.



keira
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29 Mar 2011, 7:57 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
zer0netgain wrote:
Bothers me too.

However, I appreciate that intimacy involves physical contact. So, when someone wants to hug me and I don't consider the social situation to be inappropriate, I try to tolerate it.

I believe repeated expressions of intimacy can help increase your "comfort" with it...particularly with someone you actually like. So, I use these situations (I'm in my 40s now) to improve my "comfort zone" with physical contact.

Still makes my skin crawl...but I'm trying to grow.


Doesn't mean they have to do it all the time.

Maybe once. But not every freakin bloody second.


:wtg:



Pandora_Box
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29 Mar 2011, 8:10 am

keira wrote:
Pandora_Box wrote:
zer0netgain wrote:
Bothers me too.
:wtg:


At least someone gets it.

They think, what...that its going to get me to like touching.

No just gives me a bigger aversion to it.



emlion
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29 Mar 2011, 8:13 am

being blunt and rude about it generally stops people from doing it.
don't sugar-coat it.
tell them you f*****g hate it.