Honesty really is the best policy...

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For better or for worse, I've sort of gotten to a point in my life where if someone asks me a question, I tell them the blunt truth. If they don't like it or they think I'm crazy, well too bad.

Today I went on a little eating binge at Cold Stone Creamery. I ordered two larges. I'm sitting there indulging in my ginormous pile of ice cream, and the guy behind the counter says to me, "Are you trying to gain weight? You should try one of our milkshakes."

I didn't dodge the question in any way, shape, or form. I said, "Not trying to gain weight. Sometimes food is my only escape. I'm lonely, bored, and depressed. I used to be bulimic, and old habits die hard."

He stopped for a second, then said, "Aw s**t, sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you." Then we talked a little about my experiences with an eating disorder.

I could tell he respected me for telling the truth and having no qualms about it. When I left he said, "Take it easy, man."

All I can think of is what Mel Gibson says at 1:00 - 1:10 in this video

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJLhQXmFSXA[/youtube]

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I often don't feel comfortable telling people about my problems. I guess that is where I am dishonest because I don't tell the whole truth. Only part of it which everyone calls a white lie.

I'm the opposite... I always used to tell the truth, as blunt and abrasive as it may have been. I tried to soften that approach over the years - choosing my words more carefully, still telling the truth but in a more sympathic manner. That only pissed people off even worse because they knew I was trying very hard to find nice words to say something not so complimentary.

So, I have concluded most people do not WANT the truth. Even when they ask for it. I simply try to steer clear and avoid giving an answer. If I can't I just give them the smile/nod and - lie. People seem very happy with that.

I tend to be very private, and I don't tell people about how badly I'm feeling because I don't want to burden them. I would be very unlikely to tell a stranger that I am depressed. I'm even more that way with my family. I don't tell them anything about myself because I don't want to worry them. But I do understand what you are saying, and I do think that on some occasions it's better to just tell all rather than feel like a liar through omission.

I am normally fairly open about my problems, but that depends.

I will tell even complete strangers about my OCD/anxiety.

I will tell casual friends about my Asperger's.

I will only talk about my sleep habits with my closest friends and immediate family. This is the issue that people seem to bring up most.

I always find myself lying in conversations with people I don't know very well. However, if I do know the person, I have a hard time not telling the truth, because anybody that knows me would know that I strongly disbelieve in lying for any reason, and that if their feelings are hurt I'm simply saying it like it is. It's kind of like that.

For example if I'm at a restaurant, and the waiter asks how the food is, I'd tell him/her its good even if it isn't what I ordered. If my mom cooks something and it tastes like crap, I just don't see a reason to pretend it's good. Sure she might be offended, but I don't want her to make the same mistakes over again, and she knows that.

I don't want to get the impression that I go around wearing my heart on my sleeve, or routinely tell complete strangers about my life's problems... I don't. But my tongue has just been really loose lately, and it seems like people have actually respected me for it much of the time. I manage to never come across as whiny. I mean, how many guys will admit they were bulimic?

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