Rules for different age groups

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When I was a kid my mom used to get mad at me for how I act because I wasn't acting my age. I didn't even know how to act my age and how I should be acting. I wouldn't even know when I wasn't acting my age and my mom say I was crying like a two year old. But when you have a birthday, you are not told the new rules you have and what is expected out of you. You are supposed to know on your own. I remember how confusing life was when I was a kid because it seemed like everyone had different rules and I didn't know what was right or not because rules are different for little kids vs older kids. Like it might be okay for a two year old to do something and the punishment isn't real big but if a six year old did it, the punishment is a lot stronger because the kid should know better. But when stuff like that happen to me, I would be confused and I thought I was being treated different and I would find it all unfair and be mad about it. For me to know something is wrong to do, that kid had to be punished for it. If he or she wasn't, I thought it was okay to do so it was as if little kids were a bad influence on me. Then when I was ten I quit copying everyone and started copying kids my own age or older to stay out of trouble but that didn't fully work because I still get in trouble because kids didn't always follow the rules.

When school starts, the teacher tells all her students the rules and what she expects out of them. Same thing when you get a job, you are handed the handbook and it tells you the rules and what is expected out of you. You don't get that when you have a birthday. You are expected to know on your own how to act and behave.

I hated that, growing up. It would have helped if my parents told me how I was to act for the following year, with each birthday that I had. Parents are probably reading this, right now, and they're going to learn a great deal, from this thread.

Interesting. I have used the term "Don't act like a 2 year old," but I am talking to my 11 year old. The only time I can see using that type of a phrase is when the action is very obviously immature for that child's age. Example: I wouldn't say "don't act like a 2 year old" to a child who just turned 3.

The problem I had as a kid was I didn't know how I wasn't acting my age and how I should be acting so those words didn't really help.

That makes sense. I suppose it would be much more useful if parents would speak about specific actions and why they aren't age appropriate. Clear expectations for all kids are very important. I am actually going to ask my kids if they know what I mean when I say that, LOL. Now I am curious.

Oh yes. My daughter called me out on this. I said (like every parent ever) "don't act like a 2 year old". So she asked, "What does a 2 year old do???" That forced me to explain, "a 2 year old whines instead of saying 'may I have that please?'". After seceral more times of that happening (I'm a slow learner) I realized I should stop saying, "don't act like a 2 year old (or whatever age)" and instead should just tell her point blank what she should be doing differently.

My own parents had a great idea that I completely forgot about until this thread. At every birthday they would give announce one new privilege and add one new chore. For instance, " Happy Birthday. Now you may stay up until 9PM and you also are responsible packing your own school lunch." It was a great idea, now that I remember it, I should adopt it.

Is your daughter aspie? How old is she?

I wish I thought of this as your daughter when I was a kid. Well I did start asking in my preteens how does a 12 year old act or how does a ten year old act or how does a eleven year old act. I used to ask her if they do this or that.

I struggled the hardest with this.

The guessing game of what's right and wrong:

BUT SO AND SO DID IT!! ! WHY AM I GETTING IN TROUBLE?! !??!?!?

Very popular for me to have made this mistake millions more times than necessary. I was the kid that would do what other kids told me to do that I thought would be funny. I was the kid who didn't know what was bad and what wasn't for a lot of things. But some of the things I knew. Probably because I got in severe enough trouble over time that I finally got it, lol. I was the kid that would copy my step sisters, my family, my 'friends', and my teachers. I would do stuff that they did, thinking it's alright to do it because they do it, when in fact it wasn't? heh.

My daughter was diagnosed with autism rather than Aspergers Syndrome because she had a pretty serious language delay. She is 8. Even though she absolutely flunked an IQ test- another reason she didn't get an Aspergers diagnosis- she asks very thoughtful questions. (She does a lot more thinking than the IQ testers gave her credit for, that's for sure!). Asking how does a 2 year old behave and how does an 8 year old behave were relevent questions and got me to change what I say.

Why did I say "don't act like a 2 year old!" in the first place? Because my Mom always said that (with no follow-up explanation). When you become a parent you tend to quote your own parents the most when you are upset. You don't plan to do this. It just happens. You open your mouth and a quote from your mom pops out.

What I hated about that was I knew that "Act your age" didn't even mean that. If I acted like other kids my age typically did, whoever said that to me would probably tell me to act my age again even though I already was.

Just like others are saying, being told to "stop acting like a two year old" & to "act my age" were always things that were said to me as a kid. It used to infuriate me because I never understood what it was supposed to mean. I'm 28 years old now & I'm still not sure what "act your age" is supposed to mean. What is a 28 year old "supposed" to act like? I have no idea. It's not as if there's only one way every person in the world who's my age acts.

I used to get 'stop acting like a five year old' when I was ten. I've always been five years behind. Even now that I'm in my twenties I still feel like a teenager. Probably act like one too, just without the snickering and gossip.

My Mum used to say You were smarter when you were younger! One day I replied So it's time to exchange me for younger model! and another I listen to it all my life. Did you start when I was in the cradle?

It's only thing about age. She said also Don't behave like an idiot! but never specific age. But I think it's quite possible she tried and I said What does it mean? or Why 2 y.o. is better than me? and she gave up.

was anyone here ever told to "act your age, not your shoe size"? I was.
This bugged me because at times my age and my shoe size were the same number (like at 6 I wore size 6(kid's size) shoes)
and the meaning of "act your age" I didn't understand, I still don't get it.

This sentence is sooo funny, I wear shoe size 42 and I imagined it... lol

But I don't know what's the point.

You have humongous feet then.