Why do you keep quiet?

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On alot of my topics I've seen some people mention they don't speak much. I can't even fathom not talking much! Just WOW! As other Aspies I tend to say the wrong thing so sometimes I think the silent treatment might be good aswell but I have NO IDEA how to train myself how to do this!! ! LOL! and also there's the question of WHY do some of you keep quiet/silent?

It's possible that it's just part of my genetic personality. It's also possible that the physical and verbal and emotional abuses of my childhood whenever I would speak my mind caused a stunting of that particular growth. In other words, I may not directly think that I'm going to be kicked for speaking out of turn, but subconsciously I may have just learned that I should not do so. I'm not sure which it is, possibly a bit of both. But if I trust someone a lot, and the subject is something that really fascinates me, then I will talk what seems to be a normal amount. But rarely would you find anyone that knows I can talk a lot, that's all.

I like the Buddhist rules for "right speech", which involve asking yourself before you say anything whether it is (1) true, (2) necessary, and (3) kind. It sounds like a lot of what you say isn't necessary, and from what you posted about aggravating your sister not all of your speech is kind, either.

Personally, I have found that the less information I give people about myself the less power they have over me. Silence equals freedom, at least in some contexts.

I have many reasons....although today I've been posting quite a bit.

* I'm afraid of saying something dumb

* I can't organize my thoughts or have too many thoughts

* I'm afraid of hurting someone's feelings

* I can't think of anything to say

* Sometimes I just want to read posts rather than respond.

Better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

When I was younger I would be silent or talk your ears off.. changing topics every 30 seconds. After years of putting my foot in my mouth, I tend not to talk much.

I don't keep quiet, I am quiet.

I don't think people choose to be quiet or loud or talkative. I also don't believe you can train yourself to be different from your natural personality type.

I don't choose not to speak, I really have nothing to say and I don't notice things. If there is something I am very interested in, or very knowledgeable about, I can talk about it or ask questions about it, but most of the time, I don't have any interest in the things most people talk about, and I don't notice most social cues, so I have nothing to talk about.

It's like how some people can go on vacation to a place and talk nonstop for days about their vacation after they return, and everybody wants hear about what they saw, what they did, etc. I don't. If I want to go there, I'll go there myself. If I want to learn about a place, I'll pick up a book or research it on the net. For me, the only experience, is to actually experience something or some place. I just don't get anything out of talking about things, and see no point to it.

I didn't care to associate with anyone for many years. I just didn't see anything good coming from it. I at least apply the first 2 principles that arielhawksquill posted. That said, most people seem to be incredibly stupid and need 70% of a conversation to be regurgitated fluff or else they don't understand anything.

A few seconds of silent observation can eliminate the need for minutes of conversation. Conversely, if a wise man speaks to a large audience, nobody hears a meaning.

modes include:

Silence, either for self-defence OR nothing to say OR can't get an edge into the conversation

Lecturing while others edge their way out of the room EITHER on a non-sensitive topic OR to the few poerceived to be receptive.

Talking [not lecturing] while others do not listen.

I keep quiet a lot, when I speak it is on a need-to-know bassis - except to my inmost group.

If you see me at the back of the room, mouth shut, do not assume it is because I have notyhing to say.

I am not particularly talkative by nature. Whenever I do speak, my words are usually quite direct and rather blunt. I don't care for extraneous information from others nor do I wish to inundate them with what I consider unnecessary details.

Because I don't know what to say. If I know something for sure, like if a teacher asks a question in class and I know the answer, I'll answer it. In this case, I know that it's okay to speak up and I know exactly what to say. If I'm in a social situation, there can often be many possibilites. If the conversation is very straightforward and I understand and process everything that is being said, then I'll be very active. if I have formulated a plan I can stick to in order to fulfill a certain purpose, and I know that everything would be under my control, I can also be very active and outspoken. Other than that, I often become confused in social situations, or need more time to process things that are fired at me at a rapid rate, so I don't speak up. I try to avoid these situations as much as possible, and would rather spend my time alone.

By the time my thoughts have congealed into words, the conversation (if it's more than 1 other person, which is maybe that's why I like 1-on-1 so much better) has moved onto some other subject. I also always have trouble finding the "on-ramp" moments to inject my words.

Other times speaking just feels too much mental "heaving lifting." Like if I'm driving I can hear, but not verbally respond, or else my driving gets really unsafe. I used to have the energy to multi-task those, but for some reason speech sucks up a huge amount of energy and attention, and I can't do it anymore. Some days it's like that even if I'm not driving.

And at other times speaking feels sort of "discombobulating" (er, for lack of a better term...). Sort of, if my mood is on edge doing it feels like how listening to a circular saw or a vacuum makes me feel. Hard to explain.

My mother is a talker, though. She said as a kid her brother and mother would constantly tell her not to immediately say whatever popped into her head. I think some people are just wired that way. She always ends up having odd but really interesting conversations with people.

Because I don't have anything to say.