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I realize there have been other threads about this, but they're too far down the list for many to notice and I really need some viewpoints on this.

My bf wants me to get a FB account. My work (for my local university) keeps me pretty busy so I don't see him all the time. He'd like me to at least have a virtual/web presence so he knows I'm "still around" when we're not physically together.

I just...don't like Facebook. I've strongly disliked it from the moment I heard about it. Part of the reason is privacy (I feel like I'd have almost nothing on the page--I don't even want my picture or real name out there), but the rest of it is on principle. Something that "popular," that "everyone is doing," just turns my stomach for some reason.

Aagh. Am I being unreasonable? The thought of joining this massive social "club" utterly repels me. Should I swallow that for his sake?

Really, I'm torn here. Please, help.

i have an account.

I don't have my real name on it. I also only have a few friends and no family. also i haven't got a profile picture. i have no information on location, age ect and i even make a seperate email account to join.

The only time i use it is for messaging multiple friends about something or for a quick chat.

I don't use facebook for some of the same reasons as you. If you don't want to use it, then don't. If your bf wants you online, have him send you an email or an im.

I used to use facebook when it first came out and was available only to university students and really limited your interaction mostly to just those people in your university. It was fun and neat.

Then it got big. I graduated and stopped really using it.

Then privacy issues were raised. I actually removed everything from my account, changed my birthday, changed my name, took down a lot of pictures.

Now I have no information on there, just a profile picture and whatever pictures people have tagged me in. I almost never ever log on except to maybe check up on someone and just see... maybe where they are living or what they look like.

You don't have to get really into it. Just be VERY careful about what you tell it, and don't be afraid to lie.

Also, there are other ways. What's wrong with using something like Gchat if you use Gmail? Or something like ICQ or email? Facebook is a complicated solution to a simple problem.

Facebook is kinda pointless to me, I just use it for communication purposes. Most of the people I have on my friends list (Just family, freinds of family, and my friends) just care about the games. I told them that I don't play those glorified commericals, and I still get requests. Also, what is the point of updating your status every five minutes? And the whole "<person's name here> likes your status/photo", whats the point? If you like it, SAY SOMETHING! But it made a college dropout the youngest billionaire in history, so it must be something to somebody.

This is an interesting thread to me. I am new here with a husband and son with aspergers. My husband will not have a facebook or his picture on the internet. He doesnt like either of them.

He can't txt your phone?

Hi, Conundrum!


Would the account be for your bf, only? If so, you can put your name but not your location and set the profile to private. That way only your bf would see it. If you have a common name, chances are many on Facebook already share it, so it will be hard to tell which one you are for anyone besides your bf who might be looking.

Hi ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo!

That's an idea.

He's also concerned that his other friends don't know me that well because I'm "never around" enough for them to get to know me, so their impression of me is nonexistent to negative. Some of them think I'm not there for him enough and have expressed that maybe he should find someone who will "pay more attention" to him.

He has no intention of ending things with me, but he seems to be overly concerned about how I appear to them, too. Therefore, said "virtual presence" would be for that reason, too (which is why just texting isn't enough).

With that being said, maybe just make myself "available" to him and a few other people?

Thanks for the replies, btw--more opinions are still welcome.

Oh, I've been through that myself, and we even lived together already at the time.

I'm only on Facebook myself to play games and don't have my name, any info or pictures on there. But I'm not sure if doing something like that would make any difference if the purpose is for his friends to "know" you. Unless you're posting something, a Facebook account isn't much of a presence.

How did you resolve this?



I don't care about playing games. Hmm...maybe if I told the few people who "matter" what my alias is.

*Sigh* Most of them already think I'm a weirdo--I'm not sure how much this would help matters.

Sorry that I have Facebook. I don't get why so many people on here hate it. I would think it would be the opposite, you get to interact with people ONLINE rather than FACE-TO-FACE or on the TELEPHONE. Online interaction seems to be the preferred type here. I would think that people with AS would be HAPPY that a type of interaction that can do easily is becoming popular!

On the issue of popularity, I won't not do something JUST because it's popular and visa versa. For example, I like iPods and they are an "in" thing right now. I don't like iPods because they are popular, I like the because they are small and you can put multiple albums on the same gadget. I don't like Kesha very much, and it's not because she isn't popular, it's because I don't like her music.

Anyway, using Facebook is a choice, so if you choose not to use it, that's OK.

I avoided FB for the same reasons you list. But then I realized that I could keep in touch with Dear Nephew that way, and not in any other way. DN is the son I never had - I'd do anything to be in touch with him.

We (and his friends and some of my other relatives) never say anything meaningful on FB. It's usually a line, maybe two. "Did you survive the rain?" or "How about that concert?" - just stuff like that. Anything personal goes to email, by agreement in FB, otherwise he wouldn't read email at all.

As for a Profile pic, you could have none, or a symbol or an animal, or a pic of your eyes & forehead & hair - or even a pic from the back. I like a white tiger cub.

I'm not sure what to make of your bf's friends - is that blackmail? Maybe your bf is still vulnerable to peer pressure - oh, no pics other than the Profile pic. He's not asking for anything else?

The messages we use are just one-liners. Just touch base. The whole thing is a little young for my taste - kind of like masses of teens all in denim at MacDonalds. Some things you grow out of. But if a private Profile and 7-10 words would make him happy, you might want to consider it.

And if you still don't like the idea, then don't do it.

You can sign up and just use it to talk to your boyfriend when you two are away from each other.

I don't even know why I have FB anymore. I think I only keep it so I can stay in contact with some band members. The only reason why I signed up is because my friend who is in a Welsh band had an account. It's the only way I can keep in contact with him.

I really hate catching people's pointless status updates.

Oh, and his friends are jerks. I hate it when people think just because you're not that social that you are somehow wrong to be someone's boyfriend/girlfriend.

Right because talking to the friends you don't have online is way better than face-to-face.

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