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I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was 14. I knew I must have some mental disorder, so I asked my mom to get me tested. Other family members insisted that there was nothing wrong with me, and assumed that I was just being weird on purpose. They said things like, "just because you're smart doesn't mean you have to disrespect people." They thought that I was claiming superiority over the rest of the world by purposely disrespecting them, even though in reality I had no idea what respect means to a normal person.
To me, the rest of the world has freakishly high standards of living, and it is scary how easily someone can be enraged. How can someone get ticked off at you for NOT doing something? That is crazy. I can only get mad at someone for DOING something, such as directly threatening me. I never understood how it is possible to be mad at someone for NOT doing something, so I always assumed that it was the other person with the problem. I called them "irrationalists."
My sister's boyfriend taught me every cuss word when I was in kindergarten, and I was surprised at the effects they had on people. By 6th grade I was the most popular kid in school (not for being the smartest), but because I constantly cussed at teachers and students in a non-aggressive monotone manner (which is actually more offensive to them for some reason), and could not be offended by any insult. How can someone be mad at you when all you are doing is saying words? To me, I was not doing anything wrong, it was the other person's fault for being affected. What if certain cuss words are actually happy words in other languages? If someone did not know what a certain cuss word meant, then they would not be offended, which led me to a conclusion: The more "non-raw" concepts you learn, the easier it is for you to be offended. Apparently there is a written set of social concepts that people are expected to follow, but since I do not live by them, I cannot be offended, and can offend other people easily. I never wanted to attach myself to any "non-raw" concepts, which is why I spend most of my time playing and studying skill-based games with raw concepts.
What drove me to beg my mom to get me tested in 2005, was the overwhelming confusion of why I made people mad so easily. My step-sister and my mom's boyfriend were ticked off the most often, since they were not used to being around such a person. Whenever they would say something that is not a direct question or command, I would remain silent because I didn't know what I was supposed to say, then they would think I am disrespecting them on purpose. The most confusing incident was when my step-sister and her friend were talking, then her friend asked me a direct question, but made no indication that she was asking ME that question. I simply assumed she was asking my sister that question, since they had been talking to each other for the past 30 minutes, so I remained silent. My sister told her friend, "he does this on purpose," and then proceeded to lecture my mom about my behavior. When I tried to explain that I didn't know she was talking me, my sister didn't understand and assumed I was being disrespectful on purpose. So I still look back on that day and wonder, "how was I supposed to know she was talking to me?"
After being diagnosed, I started college in Fall 2005 instead of going to high school, because my mom thought it would be a better environment for me. After the Spring 2006 semester was over, I didn't register for Fall 2006, because I concluded that it was not important. A degree is just a "non-raw" concept that is only important for those who believe in it (so is money). I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life on the internet, simply publishing free chess information. Before I knew how to play chess, I wanted to be a mathematician. I "invented" the Pythagorean Theorem in kindergarten, as well as the formulas for figuring out the area/perimeter/surface-area/volume of all the geometric shapes. By 3rd grade, I had figured out the formulas for exponents and radicals (like x^a * x^b = x^a+b), and "invented" polynomials. I thought that I was the only person to know this kind of math, and even went on to discover calculus formulas for infinite series, like how to find the sum of the first x multiples of y. I was 13 when I found out that there was actually a lot more math in the world than I knew of, and that what I "invented" throughout the years could've been easily learned from a book. After that, math wasn't fun for me anymore. It is more fun to figure things out on your own, than to simply read what somebody else has already figured out. That is why I turned to chess, because many of the chess concepts I discover, have never been published by anyone else.

The way I imagine a perfect life: I am on SSI, I am homeless with a laptop using public wifis, I can freely go from place to place without any commitment, and would not have to see the same people every day.

Hi and welcome to Wrong Planet.

I understand a lot of what you wrote in regards to people feeling that you are being delibretly disrespectful. I have also had people use variations of the "just because you are smart..." argument.

Your "perfect life" sounds strange to me. And rather lonley. But that is merely my opinion, which doesn't matter in the least. =] Personally, I would HATE to be on SSI. I would much rather earn my money. And I would hate to be homeless. Being without a home doesn't really fit into my future plans.

Being homeless would save a lot of money, and let me choose who I talk to. I already feel like I've earned the money SSI will be giving me in 3-6 months. To me, I am just being compensated for the things I did for free. Personally I think everything should be free (food, shelter, internet). I don't really want a work-for-pay type of lifestyle, because it would be too easy to lose dedication and only think about the money. I was recommended as a math tutor in college, but I thought that having that kind of job would tempt me to slack off, since it wouldn't matter how good the lesson was, I would get paid the same. When I am doing things for free, it is easy to use full effort/dedication.

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

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