Is it true things get easier as you get older?

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Sirunus
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06 Apr 2011, 2:00 pm

My aspie friend said things start to get easier for aspies around the age of 25. Have things gotten easier for you for those of you in your mid-twenties/early thirties? Or is there no light at the end of the tunnel? I've just entered my mid-twenties and although I've learnt several important lessons, it feels things haven't really changed much, at least not yet.



OJani
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06 Apr 2011, 2:06 pm

You will learn continuously during your life. Life will be only different, not easier or harder. Your way of thinking will change, things that are important now will be replaced for others. Overall, I think it is much the same as with everybody else, no matter of ASD or NT.


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BraveMurderDay
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06 Apr 2011, 2:09 pm

I'm sure you'll get all across the board answers given the diversity of experiences people have had. In my case I'm 26 and do not see nearly any aspect of my quality of life improving unless I'm ever turned on to some services or program that I don't know of yet.



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06 Apr 2011, 2:11 pm

Not for me. The older I get the more people seem less acceptable of odd or immature behavior. It has made it harder for me to interact with strangers in public.



League_Girl
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06 Apr 2011, 2:19 pm

Things got easier for me when I got out of high school. People are more mature and less direct so I have no idea what they are thinking. They aren't going to tell me I am rude or mean or whatever. Only kids and teens do that. They even tell you to go away, grown ups do not. So I guess it's bad to tell someone they're rude or mean or other negative stuff about them and telling them to go away or else everyone be doing that.



Nurylon
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06 Apr 2011, 2:37 pm

It became easier for me from when I was 17 to me at age 23 now. It is still getting easier. :)



CranialRectosis
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06 Apr 2011, 3:11 pm

The older I get, the more independent I become. The less other people are able to dictate my routine, the easier life is for me.

It all started to turn for the best when I was able to leave home. I joined the US Army at 18 and in basic training got better food and had more freedom than I ever had in my parent's puritanical home. Since then, I have become successful in the workplace and own my own home.

I can now eat what and when I want. I can get the exercise, sleep, peace and quiet that I need without anyone else being able to force their way of life upon me.

In my opinion, life got easier as I got older simply because I can avoid the conflicts that plagued me as a child. I am no better at socializing than I ever was. I simply have the choice to avoid the situations that tend to become horrific.



Magnus_Rex
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06 Apr 2011, 3:15 pm

Since I finished High School, it got easier. Unfortunately, it's not been getting easier since then and it's still very far from ideal. In fact, I fear it's slowly getting back to the way it was before.



emuman100
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06 Apr 2011, 3:28 pm

The older I got, the better I was prepared to deal with daily life. Now that I'm older, things are better, but not ideal. I always think of the difficulties as the crosses I must bear in my daily life. I feel that, for me, CranialRectosis said it the best.


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ZeroGravitas
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06 Apr 2011, 3:46 pm

I think it gets "easier" in the same way mathematics or chess becomes easier with experience. You can more fluently pick up patterns and situations, and reflexively respond properly. Yet there is so much complexity that you can never really stop and say "ok, I now have a complete neurotypical emulator in my head."

I think a good analogy can be found in John Varley's story The Persistence of Vision, in which a sighted man spends time in a commune of congenital deaf-blind mutes. [available here]

He quickly catches onto their basic finger gestures (babytalk) and some of the ways they interact. But then he gradually realizes that there's another layer of communication. And another, and another. He realizes (similar to that H.G. Wells story) that he can spend his entire life with them and never achieve full fluency in their manner of communication nor in their methods of perception.

Or in other words, Einstein's response to a little girl who had difficulty with mathematics: ""Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."

The things you find hard now, will probably not be so hard in the future. But by then, you'll have new things that you find difficult. This isn't aspie-specific, everyone discovers this.


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nilescrane
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06 Apr 2011, 3:56 pm

Easier than the previous years? Sure. I mean, less bullying although it still exists. Anything to look forward to? I wouldn't say so. Living on the wrong planet is a life sentence unfortunately.



Callista
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06 Apr 2011, 5:40 pm

Yes and no.

Yes, because you learn as you get older and you eventually master things that used to be hard for you. So, the problems that you are facing now, you'll probably have solved some time in your future.

No, because as you get older you will take on more responsibility; more will be expected of you and you will probably expect more of yourself as your abilities increase and you gain confidence. So there will always be new challenges to face.

This is true for NTs, too, of course.


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bergie
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06 Apr 2011, 5:46 pm

I think I am much better at adapting than I was as a child/teenager. (30 now)

Living alone helps a lot too as I can just "be myself" at home.



Zen
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06 Apr 2011, 5:52 pm

For me, it's definitely better, because I'm not constantly picked on and I have a lot of control over my own environment and life. That's not to say life is a breeze, but it's absolutely better.



XLCR
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06 Apr 2011, 5:54 pm

Triple kudos on John Varley's 'Persistence of Vision'. I have my copy right here as I type. An Aspie must read along with Jerry Kosinski's 'The Painted Bird'.



2ukenkerl
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06 Apr 2011, 8:32 pm

Zens right, and that is MY experience also.

You don't like food? Get something else! Don't like the work? Get something else.. Don't like the noise, move, etc..

Bullies may find it a bit harder in adult life, so there are fewer. And you can pick a job where you SHINE, so people won't fault you for what you have trouble with. Peers deal more on knowledge and responsibility than social basis and physical attributes. So things don't get easier, but they may SEEM easier..