Children and stimming.

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My son will be 8 in October. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS in October 2006. He has come a very long way.

For the fast few months he has been stemming (I was calling them quirks, as I didn't know they had a name. He's done some in school, but when he's home the 3 or 4 stems he has are non-stop. When we play outside I don't notice it so much.

Any advice? Pointers?
Thanks!
Hugs.

Advice/pointers on what?

Well, I know nothing about stemming . I am worried that other kids might notice and say something.

I caution you about trying to stop his stimming since that's what I think you are alluding to.

His stimming serves a purpose. If he's getting negative attention at school maybe you could help him stear his stimming into a less conspicuous type of movement.

He's relaxing, releasing energy, and stimulating his body for a reason. It's natural so I wouldn't make him ashamed of it or suppress it.

That's my opinion but that comes from observation and what I've learned from the board, not from personal experience. I mean that I can't explain stimming from the inside out since I don't have autism.

I dislike the term greatly... more accurately it's a 'soothing' behavior. Some people have had success in redirectly stims into less noticable/more acceptable behaviors. some have been able to learn to consciously learn to identify and redirect their stims. And some just accept them as part of who they are.

Talk to his educational support team about what would fit your son's personality best. If you try to force him to stop or make him self conscious about it, it will only spell trouble for him. Making sure the school has an anti bullying campaign couldn't hurt either - as well as a safety plan for your son for when or if he feels bullied or threatened.

I would also discourage preventing him from doing any kind of stimming (unless he is hurting himself, but it doesn't sound like that is the issue). As he gets older, he will learn what not to do in public, I did, and to replace those with more socially acceptable (less noticeable) things. Stimming is often a coping mechanism to help with sensory issues in a world that is difficult for us to process. An attempt to force him to stop can lead to meltdowns or bitterness or shame....all that coupled with the fact that he probably won't stop anyway since stimming is almost always (or always) present in autistic children. What kind of stimming does he do?

Again, don't try to stop him from stimming. My family tried very hard to get me to stop and said mean things to me about it.....my family is very supportive and kind in general but they were very concerned about these behaviors and how people would treat me because of them (like you are)> My stims were very salient.........for example twirling a string in front of my face, spinning in circles , humming and repeating lines to myself. I remember some of the mean things that my family said and it did not stop me from stimming even though I was bullied mercilessly probably in no small part because of it (I did it in school all the time). I kept doing these things in public until I was about 10 years old , then stopped most of it but continued some of my stims in private. The point is I did not stop my behaviors bcs of my family and was still bullied only now I remember being bullied and my family being mean about it (so it did more harm than good).

Don't try to completely stop the behavior unless it is physically harmful to the child or others (ex. poking self/others, biting, hitting self, etc.)
Like others said, if it bothers you or others but it is not physically harmful, maybe you can redirect it into something that isn't annoying others but still serves the same (or a similar) purpose.
If you post what he does, I'm sure that some of us can give suggestions for redirecting it.

Maybe informing them that it's normal for him, nothing to be worried about, would help. Kids are completely accepting of differences if they have the right mindset about them.

Not all kids. I don't believe this would have worked at my school---there were some pretty nasty kids there, and some who thought they were just too good for me.

Yeah; but there's no way to stop an Aspie kid from being bullied by changing his behavior. He'll get bullied anyway--AS is impossible to hide to the degree that you lose the bully target on your back. Better to combat bullying in general.

But yeah, if his stims are annoying other kids, he will probably benefit from learning to re-direct them into a less obvious or distracting form. Stopping entirely is not really recommended.