Eye contact... faking it?

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I was always given into trouble for never making eye contact. I saw a cartoon linked to from here where someone was saying "look at me when I speak to you" and it rang so true to me. I cant concentrate if I have to make eye contact too.

Im hoping to embark on a career where eye contact is crucial (sorry wont say what) and while academically I excelled, I find eye contact near impossible. This could be my downfall at interviews etc.

I dont really know what is normal or natural for aspies when it comes to eye contact. Do your eyes dart around the room looking everywhere but the person you're meant to look at? Are you like me and end up staring at body parts (embarrassingly the crotch more often than not - wish i didnt)? Are you a mouth watcher? Are you a starer? Have I missed anyone out?

Ive tried looking at the bridge of the nose but find that equally as uncomfortable.

Does anyone have any tips on engaging and faking eye contact without being caught?

Well.. I have been in every direction with this... I wasn't aware that I was supposed to make eye contact until I was 17 but tbh people didn't really notice that much. Then when I found out I was supposed to make it, I thought it meant staring continuously into the other person's eyes which freaked out me and I think also the other person involved. Nowadays, I think less is more with eye contact. I look very occasionally at the eyes of the person I'm talking to, if that, and most of the time people don't seem concerned about it. My psychiatrist even said my eye contact isn't too bad so... I just think it's one of those things, the main thing is to try not to get too hung up over it. I find anti anxiety meds help to reduce the anxiety of eye contact but even then it will always be distracting because it isn't subconscious to us. I think the best thing to do is smile and make eye contact when you first meet someone but if you are trying to think about what you are saying don't even bother. I think I usually look down a little, I don't normally focus on or around the face of the person I'm speaking too. It is really tricky but the more you practice the less other people notice, especially if you are quite verbose people see it as being more eccentric rather than anything else x

I'm probably not helping all too much, but I eventually just learned how to make eye contact.
I'm much younger than a lot of people here, though, so maybe it won't be as easy for others.

I kinda cheat and focus on the top right end of a persons eyebrow to give the impression im roughly looking at them.

Other wise i'd look a bit too intense starring at someone

You just have to constantly remind yourself to look the person in the eyes. I found that over time, partially as a result of gaining confidence, I was able to get over that unsettling feeling you get from looking at a person's eyes. Everyone has an aversion to sustained eye contact; that's why people look away for a second and then resume eye contact during conversation. It's just especially intense for some of us; I'm not sure if it's caused by lack of confidence or Asperger's itself.

As far as remembering to look a person in the eyes instead of looking around the room, you just need to constantly think about it at first, and have people remind you at first.

I kinda agree actually. I think it is part Aspergers because we get so caught up in things that we don't learn to do it naturally the way most people do. But there definitely is an anxiety element too. I definitely think it is possible to fake it well enough that people don't notice that easily. I learned mostly through using alcohol because it kills the anxiety of it, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend that. Personally I think the delay in learning eye contact is caused by Aspergers and the discomfort is caused by anxiety of it... probably aggravated by the fact that it isn't natural to us. It ain't exactly pleasurable but I just try to avoid contact with people outside my family as much as possible so I don't have to worry about making eye contact. But then again, I have difficulty making conversation anyway so a lot of the time I avoid socialising as I don't want people to find out how inept I am at it. I thnk I get around things by pretending to be shy tbh, even though I'm not shy at all hehe!

I don't really feel anxiety about eye contact, but it does hurt my eyes.

I usually look at ears, nose, mouth, and anything else in the vicinity instead of making eye contact.

I usually stare at their nose, typically the bottom part, if I'm feeling comfortable with the person. A close friend of mine who understands my AS often jokes about this with me, asking me if his nose is really that interesting. I tell him he has a very interesting nose. My other default eye position is their throats or chests, which is awkward on women. If I'm really anxious, I end up twisting my body away and staring in the opposite direction of the person or contorting myself into weird positions.

I'm a mouth watcher. Sometimes neck, sometimes ears, but usually mouth.

I read that it's more convincing to others if you look at the forehead so I tried that, but I didn't like it. Seemed too close to the eyes to be comfortable ...

I end up looking at their bodies or what they have on, their pretty/handsome faces or something on their face like moles or ears or mouth or nose or hair. I don't pay any attention to their eyes. To me this is eye contact and it seems good enough for everyone. I don't stare at them. I look away and around them and then back at them. If I am in the middle of something, I keep looking at what I am doing as I listen or talk. I guess that other person figures I am busy so I can't look at them.

I usually look at the forehead or an ear to fake it, and do it intermittently so the person doesn't think I'm staring at him/her. I had to learn it (didn't even know I wasn't making eye contact till I was in college when a psych professor pointed it out to me as a reason I might be having trouble in interviews).

~Kate

The only part of a person's face I can deal with is their mouth. Depending on the person and situation I am more likely to look at the floor rather than a person themselves.

But looking at a person's mouth when they are talking is actually quite helpful as I find it helps me understand what they are saying better. I don't have hearing problems, but I do have difficulties with comprehending what people are saying to me.

I dislike eye contact. But it was drilled into me at a very early age and eye contact was less painful than the slap or other punishment for avoiding it. So I play around at the edges and make eye contact, usually fleeting. There is a woman I know that has gorgeous green eyes and I look at them, but I'm looking at her irises not her. That's sort of weird.

I did got through a faze where I would lock eyes with people ans stare them down. I think that may have been more unnerving to others than no eye contact. It was sort of an experiment in trying to figure out my world. It didn't work out so well.

I look at people's noses, instead of their eyes.

Focus on another point on the face such as the mouth, nose, or especially the glabella (space right between the eyebrows).