Does anyone else love going out every weekend?

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Hey guys, this is my first topic. I'm 19, almost 20, and although it was speculated that I had Asperger's as a child, my parents never really looked into it and I guess there wasn't much info on it at the time. I recently decided to look up the symptoms for Asperger's, and it's clear that I have it. It's just crazy how so many aspects of myself are results of Asperger's. Everything from my perfect spelling and debate skills to my allergies and lying habits, and tendency to write more than I need to--so I'll get to the point.

I love going out and partying every weekend. Every list of Asperger's symptoms I've read suggests that most Aspies don't. I sat at home on the computer or playing videogames until Sophomore year of high school, at which point I suddenly decided I hated only having two friends, became depressed, and really started to change. Also, I feared change as a child, whereas now I enjoy any sort of spontaneity. Does anyone else feel like they almost NEED to go out every weekend? I think it's partially because I'm a virgin and thus I obsess over losing the v-card, and the possibility of hooking up with a girl when I go out excites me--it's not my motivation for going out, but it's always on the back of my mind. I just love going out. You never know who you'll meet or what will happen. Does anyone else enjoy spontaneity? If your friend calls you at 9:00 Saturday morning and says "I'm picking you up in an hour, we're road tripping it to the beach!" are you immediately down for it?

I think I partially like going out because I'm facing my fears and improving a weakness. It's not the main reason, but the fear and uncertainty makes me more motivated to go out.

Certain party settings still scare me though. Parties where I know everyone there but I'm not really good friends with anyone in particular, and everyone is moving around talking to each other, are scary. I was in a frat (now I'm taking a year off from college) and most parties were like this. Also, parties where I don't know anyone and everyone else there knows each other, but it's not a relaxed group setting. I joined the indie music-booking club that only met once a week, and was run by a small clique. It was a fault of the club itself, and one was supposed to meet other members at the socials (which would often be merged with other parties resulting in a lot of people uncomfortably standing around), but the socials always made me anxious and I was never sure how to enter the clique, even though it was probably as simple as becoming more involved with the club and then trying to hang out with them.

hiya exhumed welcome to la cosa aspie nostra
i would love to have both a good reason as well as the means to "go out" anytime. but i lack both, so home i stay.

Everything you mentioned sounds terrifying to me.

Definitely not me. I wish I would

Going out is stressful, while I know it's something you should do if you want to get ahead in life ... but I cant. I did try a few times each year when I was younger, but the awkwardness and anxiety was always so bad I was glad to leave after 15 minutes.

Yeah, I think counteracting the antisocial effects of Asperger's and achieving the illusion of social normalcy became one of my obsessive hobbies at some point. Subconsciously I think it reflects my obsession with losing my virginity, but it's not like I go out with the sole purpose of having sex in mind.

I was introduced to the world of actively thinking about and analyzing social situations when I discovered all the material written about picking up girls, but most of it basically encourages you to approach random people and partially script your conversations beforehand, practicing your greeting, body language, and even interesting stories to tell. So eventually I discovered a program called Real Social Dynamics based on improving yourself, having a healthy mindset, and handling social situations (even those not involving women) as they occur, and that really helped me. Apparently many fans of it are aspies.

Come on, there has to be someone on here who likes going out. It's an adrenaline rush, it's that feeling of conquering your fear. Anyone can enjoy that feeling, even an aspie.

What are your opinions on large crowds of people? I love large crowds for the anonymity they provide.

Exhumed, many people with AS have social anxiety, difficulties with processing the input from large crowds and noisy places, high resistance to change in routine, and a very short span during which they can handle this stress before completely breaking down.

Suppose I asked you how you could not feel the excitement that comes when one is being chased by a grizzly bear. Surely, the sense of imminent death by grizzly mutilation is exhilarating!

That said, I suspect many of us would like to have the kind of courage necessary to do this.

But, we are likely to choose mauling by grizzly before going to a crowded mall.

No. I hate it.

But it may be a sensory thing for you. Many autistics are hyper sensitive to noise and light. But some are just the opposite and seek out stimulation.

I think i'd crumble if I went out every weekend.

Crikey, you're a tank aspie

I don't go out every weekend, but I am much more social than you tend to see with Asperger's. When I was 7, my mom actually looked up information about it, but the emphasis on social troubles (I have always had plenty of friends, and I enjoy social situations) threw her off the trail and ended up delaying my diagnosis for 12 years.

None of the socializing is intuitive for me; when I was diagnosed the psychiatrist said that I compensate through my "superior processing ability", which pretty much means that my brain picks out patterns in things and notices correlations. That translates well to social situations for me.

i love to go out to bars, shows or cook outs, what have you
with out a socal life...you could just shoot me!

In my younger days I went to parties and keggers all of the time. Looking back on it now though, I realize I was pretty stressed when I arrived at those parties, which would explain why I was always in such a tearing rush to get drunk/stoned ASAP, thus reaching the desired state of being (Comfortably Numb) before meltdown could occur. I never dated, but even though my first priority was always getting as smashed as possible, I did manage to get laid a few times at those parties, usually with a girl that was aggressive and as wasted as I was.

Now I force myself to go the the local jam session every Saturday night. I have that weird on stage quirk that others here have also posted about. With a guitar in my hands I'm fine, I can get up and perform in front of a large crowd. As soon as I set it down and step off the stage the social anxiety thing defaults to normal and I'm back to being my inhibited self. I have been accused of arrogance for spending my breaks in a quiet corner instead of mingling.

In college I took speech because I thought it would help. Facing my first speech with terror, I came up with the idea of taking my guitar up with me. I made my first speech about the guitar and its parts and history, along with a short demonstration of picking techniques. That way I could hold it the whole time!

Last Saturday the head guy of the Elks lodge where the jam sessions are held came up and asked me to start playing there solo on Friday nights. I'm afraid of the idea, but I can use the money. I've always played in a band, it's a lot more comfortable for me to have at least a bass and drums behind me. I tried to turn him down at first, but he kept on me, said I could have half of the bar tips too. So I said I'd do it, now I'm rehearsing and worrying.

To the last two posts, that's good to hear. I never had many friends up until college and I'm still unsure of how to go about making friends with someone, so you have me beat there pat2rome; the other person usually does most of the work initiating the friendship.

I too have gotten pretty good at tackling social situations with logic. It's like my mind is a textbook on social skills, and I call upon the information as it's needed. I'm experienced with most situations so people usually think I'm the s**t when they meet me, unless there's a hiccup at some point and I do something awkward. I'm STILL trying to get the timing and motion down for a proper hug.

I'd rather stay home on the weekends, listen to The British Invasion and drink my tea.