How severe is my condition?

Post Reply New Topic

Hello everyone,

I have never been officially diagnosed by a doctor as having autism, but I highly suspect that I do have it. Many people in my family (my father in particular) always chided me that I had a mental disorder of some kind or would simply tell me "something is wrong with you!" .

This was due to the fact that I had difficulty in getting along with, and relating to, other people. My dad suggested to me that I was bi-polar, purely based on some random info that he came across, which was forwarded to him by a friend. He suggested the idea that I visit a mental health professional, at his expense, but he went out of business in Oct. of 2008...so he has other priorities now.

After doing some reading and research of my own, I really don't believe I'm bi-polar at all. In fact, many of the signs I exhibit seem to be tied in with autism. But what I wonder is, how severe it is...or what type of autism it is?

Here are some things about me that lead me to believe I have autism:

1) I had a severe speech impediment when I was younger. The day before I enrolled in elementary school, my parents couldn't really understand anything I said, as all I did was babble. I was incoherent. I could not communicate speech like others at my age. I had to take regular speech therapy in elementary school up until the 4th grade. . My speech impediment was so severe that at one point a doctor suggested the idea that he perform some kind of surgery on my tongue! Luckily, that did not happen. I think I can speak pretty well now after years of therapy, but it took me a long time to get there.
2) I have extremely poor coordination. A lot of people have pointed this out to me over my life, including my latest employer just the other week.
3) I am 32 years old, and I've never had a girlfriend or a close intimate relationship with a woman. The only time I've been intimate with a woman was when I hired a couple of prostitutes some years ago.
4) I have no friends, and always had difficulty relating to other people. I sometimes have trouble "reading" other people in terms of their emotions. I quit high school because I couldn't get along with other people there. Eventually I had to get my GED because I wasn't able to graduate.
5) When I was younger, when I tried to sleep ...I had trouble because any kind of sound irritated the heck out of me. I actually wore ear muffs to sleep. To this day, random sounds can irritate me to the point of driving me crazy when I am either trying to concentrate or attempting to get to sleep.
6) sometimes it's very hard for me to concentrate, and any drastic changes to my regular routine usually upset me greatly.
7) I usually get stressed out very easily, even at some of the smallest things.

8 ) One person remarked to me that I walk around like someone with a broken wheel. I always noticed that I walk around kind of weird. I then noticed that when I walk, much of the weight is shifted over to my toes or "toe walking", which apparently is a symptom common to many people with autism....
9) I am a very slow learner, to the point it seems I have Attention deficit disorder. However, I do possess a very analytical mind on certain topics, which I seemed obsessed with. Or, at least, others tell me I'm obsessed.

=========================================================

Well, all my life I've worked for my family members, but I've been unemployed for a very long time. Just 8 weeks ago I got myself a job working doing customer service at a very big hardware store. Desperate, I took it.

Let me tell you, out of the frying pan and into the fire. Working in this kind of enviroment for me is absolute torture. Dealing with the other people, particulary the co-workers, is the hard part. I am surprised that I haven't been fired yet, as the managers were initially ticked off that I wasn't learning things fast enough, and came right out and told me so. however I do wonder how much longer I can survive at this job due to many of the things I've dealt with my whole life. A few weeks from now, my employer will make a decision on whether or not to keep me. Right now I am a temporary hire.

If I can't survive this job, or function at other jobs, what should I do? How should I go about qualifying for SSI? Based on the things I've written, what type of autism am I afflicted with? Is it likely aspergers, or maybe something else? And based on what I've written, does it sound like I have a severe case of it, or is it mild autism at best?

thanks

I was 19 when officially diagnosed, and you do seen to display some of the hallmark traits of AS. I actually see a lot of myself in your paragraph, so id say your condition is about as severe as mine, which is low-moderate.

I suspect that you would be classified as mild or moderate. Note that only refers to the severity of your symptoms; the direct and indirect effect on your life can still be quite significant. I would suggest that you look at the self tests. They are posted in a thread at the top of this subforum. That would give you more insight.

Thanks for your replies.

I know that I'm seriously considering the idea of applying for SSI.

Unfortunately, just about all of the jobs that are available in my local area are customer service intensive jobs. I don't feel that a customer service job is ideal for me, all things considered. I used to do construction for 14 years when I worked for my father, however, I can't get a job in that line of work anymore because the illegal aliens have pretty much stolen all of those jobs. So all that is left for me to do is customer service type of jobs.

I am trying to do the best I can in the situation I'm in..working at this big hardware store. But I do get the sense that at some point, the other shoe is going to drop. The job enviroment is completely stressing me out, but it's not the actual work that's the issue..it's dealing with the people around me that's doing me in. The job I currently do is very detail oriented, and of course I have a lot of difficulty concentrating on my tasks. I've always had problems concentrating on work related things. At least in construction, if I made a couple of little mistakes because my mind wandered, it was no big deal. However, at these customer service jobs, make one or two little mistakes, and you're likely to be fired. I was already written up for making a mistake.

I wonder what kind of info I'd need to present when I apply for SSI? It was suggested to me that I visit a clinic for an official diagnosis. If I am diagnosed with autism (as I'm sure I will be) and/or another disorder, will that really be all I'll need in order to apply for SSI? I'm sure I can get my family members to vouch for my condition as well. I don't really own any property over 2K, so that shouldn't be a problem.

I believe the "official" difference between autism (high-functioning) and Asperger's is that Asperger's has no speech delay. I think trying counts. Unless your parents say you had a speech delay, it's probably Asperger's.

I can't say anything about applying for SSI since we have different systems, but here it's nearly impossible to get benefits unless you have a mental disorder or they invent one for you.

Hi Richard,

Is there a regional center for developmental disabilites where you are? If there is, you may want to contact them. They will help you with assessment for Autism/Asperger's (costs nothing although they may ask for insurance if you have it). They may be able to help you with the SSI process as well. I'm not 100% sure, but worth asking if you end up getting accepted for services. I hope this helps.

Thanks for your replies.

I guess I need to ask my parents about language delay. All I know is that I couldn't speak coherently, and it was so bad to the point that one doctor suggested doing surgery on the flap of skin underneath my tongue. However, I suspect that wouldn't have worked if it was tied to autism....lol.

JadeEyes,

Are you still working in customer service, or did you find a different job? I always feel exhausted every day working where I do, because of trying to deal with all the people I come across. To my co-workers, it's a piece of cake, though.

One of the negative aspects of having a condition like this is that it affected my ability to play music.

For several years I was interested in the idea of becoming a professional musician. I played each and every day, several hours a day . Unfortunately, while I could sight read just fine, I never could learn how to play very well by ear. I also had poor music memory. The problem was that I had trouble distinguishing distance between tones. I have noticed that I do kind of speak in a monotone, so I believe the autism did negatively impact my ability to play music the way I wanted to.

RichardRamon,
I was fired from that job for having too many meltdowns, though i kept appealing for a job outside of the social light until i was let go. I will find another job this summer if SSDI doesnt go through, and this time i will be sure to request on the application that i be placed in a grocery or janitorial job, But i dont know if it is wise for me to disclose my AS and the 2 comorbids i suffer with it.