applying for disability w/o my parents knowing?

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raisedbyignorance
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16 Jun 2011, 7:35 pm

This seems to be my new plan. The problem is I have no clue how to do it. Plus I know I have a series of various other medical problems (aside from Asperger's) that I was never diagnosed for and I dunno how to access such diagnoses without my parents knowing cuz I'm financially dependent on them. My dad is a hardcore libertarian. He would kill me if he knew I was turning to social security but I feel I don't have any other choice. He also does my taxes I think. I have yet to ever do my taxes and I honestly don't know what the deal is with that.

What do you guys think? I went back to the place where I got my AS diagnosis a year ago to get some paper work to give to people to prove I was diagnosed. I worry it might be to out of date. Are their other options out there?



Verdandi
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16 Jun 2011, 8:03 pm

Your diagnosis isn't out of date, but SSA will probably have their doctor(s) examine you. SSA requested medical records on me going back to early childhood.

This blog has a lot of advice for applying: http://disabilitykey.blogspot.com/

Basically, you go to SSA to do the initial application process. You sign paperwork to release your medical records to them. They send you a function report that you need to fill out as honestly as possible. You need to emphasize your impairments and what you cannot do more than what you can do. And do not hold onto pride, be as brutally honest with yourself as possible.

It helps if you can get a doctor who treated you to write a letter expressing that yes you do are really disabled.

Odds are good that you will be refused on your initial application, although I have heard a good function report and medical records can get immediate approval. About 15% of requests for reconsideration are rejected as well. It's the appeal process where things can more easily come together for a lot of people.

Something that nearly always helps is getting an attorney, as they know how to fill out the paperwork and what information to get and can request that SSA have you evaluated in particular ways to confirm your disability. Some attorneys say it's good to start with an attorney, and some say you should probably wait until the appeal process, but I think it's really up to you.

It might be worthwhile checking with http://www.in.gov/fssa/index.htm - Indiana Family & Social Services Administration - as they might be able to assist you with the process, or assist you in other ways.

This is some of what I've gleaned while applying for SSI on my own.



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16 Jun 2011, 8:04 pm

There are always other options! I am inferring that you still live with your parents, since you didn't state that you live independently. At the age of 27, you have a right to privacy regarding what decisions you make about your life.

Make use of a public library computer to start your disability application; get it mailed to a different address, hopefully someone who won't "snitch" on you to your parents will be willing to assist. You might also want to enlist the services of a therapist/counselor/neutral third party person who is trained to help you not only with your disability process, but probably other issues you're dealing with. Depending on the size of the city you're living in, you can probably find a sliding-scale therapist/counselor. Just gotta look.

Hope this helps! Good luck!


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Verdandi
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16 Jun 2011, 8:08 pm

Oh, on the attorney thing - they can take 25%-30% of your lump sum payment as a fee if you win (SSA pays them directly), so taking on appeals is fairly lucrative for them, if they think they can win.



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16 Jun 2011, 8:09 pm

First you need an offical diagnosis of your medical problems it will help incase the Aspergers is not good enough to get you disability. Contact your local Autism Services group to help you. Your parents will not know what your doctor has to say even if they pay for your medical insurance. Once you have been diagnosed with Aspergers you have been diagnosed with it forever it never expires. Your parents are going to know sooner or later when you start having money and no job if you still plan on living with them.


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raisedbyignorance
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22 Jun 2011, 3:35 pm

Sorry it took me so long to respond. Apparently my financial situation is getting worst along with my family. If I don't get disability soon, it's all gonna go to hell.

About the attorney thing, I think that's a huge step for my highly anxious self and I wouldn't know where to begin getting one to meet my needs. Do I need to pay them anything right away? Is there a way I could get like a free consultation or something?



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22 Jun 2011, 3:49 pm

raisedbyignorance wrote:
Sorry it took me so long to respond. Apparently my financial situation is getting worst along with my family. If I don't get disability soon, it's all gonna go to hell.

About the attorney thing, I think that's a huge step for my highly anxious self and I wouldn't know where to begin getting one to meet my needs. Do I need to pay them anything right away? Is there a way I could get like a free consultation or something?


I suspect it's standard to give free consultations. You never actually pay the attorneys - SSA pays them out of your award when you're approved for SSI or SSDI.

My attorney charges 25% of the award plus expenses (psychiatric evaluations, paying for copies of medical records, etc).

There are ways to go about finding an attorney - SSA can probably send you a list.

The big deal is, if you can get your initial application right, you can get approved right away. And by "right" I mean presenting your impairments properly so it's clear that you have impairments. It's all too easy to fill out the function report in a way that leaves the person reading it thinking they can just fob you off with a suggestion that you find a particular kind of work. The two who evaluated my initial application and reconsideration think I can do repetitive work, for example.



raisedbyignorance
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22 Jun 2011, 4:36 pm

Verdandi wrote:
The big deal is, if you can get your initial application right, you can get approved right away. And by "right" I mean presenting your impairments properly so it's clear that you have impairments. It's all too easy to fill out the function report in a way that leaves the person reading it thinking they can just fob you off with a suggestion that you find a particular kind of work. The two who evaluated my initial application and reconsideration think I can do repetitive work, for example.


That's going to be the biggest problem, I think. My family refused to help me apply for disability in college so I tried to do it myself and had no idea what the heck I was doing or saying. Got rejected of course. I think I have a better grasp of my disabilities now and what they are but it's gonna be hard to convince others that I'm not lying about them since most of it is invincible...especially in regards to my social anxiety, communication, and concentration.



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22 Jun 2011, 4:43 pm

raisedbyignorance wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
The big deal is, if you can get your initial application right, you can get approved right away. And by "right" I mean presenting your impairments properly so it's clear that you have impairments. It's all too easy to fill out the function report in a way that leaves the person reading it thinking they can just fob you off with a suggestion that you find a particular kind of work. The two who evaluated my initial application and reconsideration think I can do repetitive work, for example.


That's going to be the biggest problem, I think. My family refused to help me apply for disability in college so I tried to do it myself and had no idea what the heck I was doing or saying. Got rejected of course. I think I have a better grasp of my disabilities now and what they are but it's gonna be hard to convince others that I'm not lying about them since most of it is invincible...especially in regards to my social anxiety, communication, and concentration.


Oh, I think SSA also has advocates who can help you fill everything out.

I suggested in my earlier reply to check with http://www.in.gov/fssa/index.htm - Indiana Family & Social Services Administration. They should be able to assist you or direct you to where you can find assistance.

Doing it alone is hard, and having disabilities like anxiety and AS make it that much harder.



raisedbyignorance
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22 Jun 2011, 4:52 pm

I just contact a disability lawyer in Indy through a chatbox thingy on his website. He's gonna contact someone for me who specializes in AS I guess. I feel a bit guilty though cuz I lied to him about not having a working phone and asked to be emailed instead. I didn't want to be contacted by phone because talking to new people on the phone makes me extremely anxious. I got fired from a job once because I was too anxious to speak to a stranger on the phone to call in sick.



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22 Jun 2011, 4:54 pm

raisedbyignorance wrote:
I just contact a disability lawyer in Indy through a chatbox thingy on his website. He's gonna contact someone for me who specializes in AS I guess. I feel a bit guilty though cuz I lied to him about not having a working phone and asked to be emailed instead. I didn't want to be contacted by phone because talking to new people on the phone makes me extremely anxious. I got fired from a job once because I was too anxious to speak to a stranger on the phone to call in sick.


Odds are you could have explained that and it would have been fine. But I hear you about hating the phone.



raisedbyignorance
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23 Jun 2011, 8:01 pm

I got a crazy and semi-related question.

If this fails to work out, is it possible to sue my parents for their refusal to acknowledge/support me having AS? They don't have a lot of money but I need it to get through to their heads, that I've tried more than enough to know that I am not socially able to work. Even my mom keeps arguing "are your legs broken?! You're not trying hard enough?! I came from Korea and had to try really hard!" and all of that s**t. I can't take this anymore. She has a severe anger and vocal control problem and it's a very shaky and distraught for anyone with AS to live with. I'm still amazed with the way she screams and such that the police had never been summoned to our house for "domestic disturbance".

My dad also refused to assist me in applying for disability back in college but is aware that the state of the economy makes it difficult for me to find a job. Is there a way to force my parents to attend some sort of seminar or something to educate them on AS? Because the only knowledge they have were some awfully out-of-date (and ridiculously inaccurate) Tony Atwood books from last century. My dad read some of the books a few months after I was diagnosed then just resorted to treating me like a baby. He does scream at me alot too (a trait he got from being in the army).