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yct
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08 Feb 2018, 9:54 pm

Today someone told me he is ditching school for a little bit in the afternoon and coming back. later in the day after he left someone realized hes not here and said something like "oh this guy is not here" but no one really realized that he was ditching school. Then i said he is coming back.(which was really stupid to say because now everyone realized he wasnt there) somehow he found out i said that. Was this a really bad slip? Is he really mad at me? I also have ADHD and i sometimes blurt stuff out with out thinking and stuff like this happened in the past that i say stupid things without thinking has happened in the past. My anxiety is raging now. I keep thinking like maybe he thinks he cant trust me anymore. maybe He wont want to hang out with me. I wish i just kept my mouth shut!! !! !! Please someone give me an answer ASAP!! !! !! !!



SplendidSnail
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09 Feb 2018, 12:12 am

Tough to say. It sounds like he didn't ask you not to tell anyone, so I certainly wouldn't blame you for it.

Was it his intention for you to tell people? I'm guessing probably not, but not really sure.

Was it a really bad slip up? I'd say probably not. He can't have expected that nobody would notice he was gone. I think he'll probably forgive you even if it wasn't his intention for you to tell people.
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yct
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09 Feb 2018, 12:33 am

He did not tell me specifically do not tell anyone but what always gets me nervous in this type of situation is that maybe i didnt recognize non verbal communication that basically said this is a secret and dont tell anyone.



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09 Feb 2018, 6:28 am

I can't say if your friend will be mad at you or not, but it is probably one of those things that will blow over. Same thing happened to me this week; I blurted something out about someone what I should have kept quiet, then I was kicking myself all day wishing I hadn't said anything, and afraid of ruining a friendship. But nothing seemed to have been said since, so it seems like it has blown over.

Normally I'm good with keeping my mouth shut in the right moments, even without having to be told, so I earn people's trust because of this skill. But once in a while I blurt something out I shouldn't have.


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SaveFerris
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09 Feb 2018, 8:59 am

yct wrote:
Is he really mad at me?


Ask him!

Image


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harry12345
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09 Feb 2018, 12:08 pm

Sometimes people tell someone something to see if it gets around to others.
"Don't tell anyone (shush), but did you know Sonia's sister's boyfriend's second cousin's grandfather's half brother's wife's uncle's son's wife's brother is going out with Freda......"

Sometimes they do it to show off by proxy.
"Don't tell anyone (shush), but I am getting a new car next week...."

I am sure it will blow over.



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09 Feb 2018, 8:53 pm

yct wrote:
Today someone told me he is ditching school for a little bit in the afternoon and coming back. later in the day after he left someone realized hes not here and said something like "oh this guy is not here" but no one really realized that he was ditching school.

Well, you didn't volunteer the fact that he wasn't there. They clearly would have and did figure it out on their own.
yct wrote:
Then i said he is coming back.(which was really stupid to say because now everyone realized he wasnt there)

I think everyone realized he wasn't there when that guy said, "oh this guy is not here". You saying "he is coming back" only tells them that you think he will come back. You can be confident someone will return without even knowing where they are or what they left for.
yct wrote:
somehow he found out i said that.

Not a big deal.
yct wrote:
Was this a really bad slip? Is he really mad at me? I also have ADHD and i sometimes blurt stuff out with out thinking and stuff like this happened in the past that i say stupid things without thinking has happened in the past. My anxiety is raging now. I keep thinking like maybe he thinks he cant trust me anymore. maybe He wont want to hang out with me. I wish i just kept my mouth shut!! ! ! ! ! Please someone give me an answer ASAP!! ! ! ! ! ! !

I think it was completely not a big deal and it would make sense for you to view it that way too. He didn't tell you not to tell anyone, and clearly you didn't have to since they figured it out without you saying anything.
I don't think you should worry. Chances are he won't care and if he does maybe you can explain that you didn't reveal he was gone. They figured it out as they always do when someone goes missing from school too long.



SplendidSnail
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09 Feb 2018, 11:56 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
yct wrote:
Is he really mad at me?
Ask him!

This! The very fact that you're asking will likely be interpreted as a bit of an apology.


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Exuvian
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10 Feb 2018, 1:17 am

SplendidSnail wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
yct wrote:
Is he really mad at me?
Ask him!

This! The very fact that you're asking will likely be interpreted as a bit of an apology.

But also a confession! And in a situation where I don't think one (apology) is needed under the original circumstances.



SaveFerris
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10 Feb 2018, 9:57 am

Does anyone feel like it's the blind leading the blind here when it comes to social things ?


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yct
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10 Feb 2018, 9:50 pm

ok thanks.



Exuvian
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10 Feb 2018, 10:15 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Does anyone feel like it's the blind leading the blind here when it comes to social things ?

Somewhat maybe, but we have the advantage here of leisure and multiple minds conferring on the situation.



SaveFerris
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10 Feb 2018, 10:33 pm

Exuvian wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
Does anyone feel like it's the blind leading the blind here when it comes to social things ?

Somewhat maybe, but we have the advantage here of leisure and multiple minds conferring on the situation.


Due to the way my mind works I'll see something one way and believe I know the answers regarding social issues ( arrogance ? probably ) . Since my Dx I've started to question my abilities especially when I see several different answers to an issue here when I only see one answer.


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Exuvian
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10 Feb 2018, 11:01 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Exuvian wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
Does anyone feel like it's the blind leading the blind here when it comes to social things ?

Somewhat maybe, but we have the advantage here of leisure and multiple minds conferring on the situation.


Due to the way my mind works I'll see something one way and believe I know the answers regarding social issues ( arrogance ? probably ) . Since my Dx I've started to question my abilities especially when I see several different answers to an issue here when I only see one answer.

Since you only see one answer, I wouldn't assume your sharing of it to be arrogance, just confidence. That you question your conclusions in the light of increased self-knowledge and differing answers, I'd call wisdom. This is a fine attribute and I think highlights my point about the benefit of multiple minds in the forum.



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11 Feb 2018, 11:09 am

^ I hope you right :)


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