Exorcising demons of Aloofness
26 Jan 2012, 6:32 am
When i come across it i usually discourage indulgence in aspergian superiority and chauvinism. However I must vent at this time some feelings of this nature I am experiencing, in response to criticism from my supervisor at work.
I was told yesterday that i need to be more 'engaging' when i am speaking with customers on the phone. awkward silence for a moment while my supervisor waits for my response. I dont recall exactly what i said first, but it was some sort of affirmative that i would try to improve in this. My response does not satisfy her, she repeats some of my words, something like , ' you will work on it?'. Is this supposed to make me feel stupid, what do you want me to say? I say 'yes i will be more engaging', thus concludes our meeting. Im sure this was not what she was looking for but i have no clue what it was she wanted.
Thus enter hostility toward whatever non-material quality i am lacking and expected to improve upon. Why are words not enough? Why hell do neurotypicals even bother with words when what they really want is an emotional exchange that does not necessarily bear any correlation with the meanings of language? Why do they WASTE THEIR TIME on all these nuances? I use my brain to think about things that have functional value. This mysterious emotional world, is LITERALLY imaginary, it has nothing to do with the real physical world. I dont understand why these imaginary things are so special to them.
My work knows nothing about by Autism, and each instance that I am confronted with an issue that directly relates to my aspergian issues only strengthens and validates my resolve to never tell them. They obviously know nothing about autism, so what difference would the word make? And yet i suspect if anything that if i were to tell them it may usher more 'understanding' of my issues. either that or they would think it was a cop out for my shortcomings.
NTs think so damn backwards.
Thank you friends for hearing my frustration.
26 Jan 2012, 9:11 am
Thus enter hostility toward whatever non-material quality i am lacking and expected to improve upon. Why are words not enough? Why hell do neurotypicals even bother with words when what they really want is an emotional exchange that does not necessarily bear any correlation with the meanings of language? Why do they WASTE THEIR TIME on all these nuances? I use my brain to think about things that have functional value. This mysterious emotional world, is LITERALLY imaginary, it has nothing to do with the real physical world. I dont understand why these imaginary things are so special to them.
My work knows nothing about by Autism, and each instance that I am confronted with an issue that directly relates to my aspergian issues only strengthens and validates my resolve to never tell them. They obviously know nothing about autism, so what difference would the word make? And yet i suspect if anything that if i were to tell them it may usher more 'understanding' of my issues. either that or they would think it was a cop out for my shortcomings.
NTs think so damn backwards.
Thank you friends for hearing my frustration.
I've been told I stand aloof (at one time). I was when I reflect back to it now. It took some exposure to the social side of things to loosen me up. Enabling a look to their point of view. Likely the inference drawn here, is her take on the other side of the phone by her people experience via empathy/social imaginations. It is emotional and it is also good business, if indeed her perceptions are accurate and fitting in this context.
And she maybe is trying to force a square into a round hole, and her approach to this is showing a want in leadership-- dropping the hammer isn't skillful. Some introverts could never acquire the skill set even with social training. Some INTJ's are left to work alone.
A diagnoses could cover your job.
Hope you find the resolution.
Last edited by Mdyar on 26 Jan 2012, 10:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
26 Jan 2012, 10:37 am
Because they don't operate based on the assumption that people are honest and act in mutual interest. They want to be befriended, coaxed and courted. They want you to give away your intentions and your true feelings towards them. And of course they are always looking for emotional clues and information that can be used against you and to their own advantage. If they realize you are desperate to win them as customers, they might be able to negotiate a better price. If you don't seem very interested, you might not really need their business and therefore provide not the best service, and so on.
NTs don't just exchange information, they play a game of politics. They try to win allies, but also cheat each other as much as they can get away with. They gather information that can be used as ammunition against you should you ever stab them in the back. They want to be on friendly terms with everyone else in order to call in favors, but at the same time they want to be able to walk all over you if it helps them to get ahead in life. That's why they like to gossip so much. Bring three friends together, and as soon as one of them leaves the room, the other two will start comparing their mental notes and mouth off about him. It's what humans have evolved these giant frontal lobes for.
GamerNerd07901
Snowy Owl
Joined: 5 Jun 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 130
Location: Summit, New Jersey
27 Jan 2012, 11:15 am
Crazy Cat Lord, I grant you that Aspies usually tend to be more straightforward in conversation and interaction and logic than NTs. But that doesn't necessarily mean that all NTs are sub-conciously Machiavelian politicians.
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