No goals?

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Is it normal for someone who's been through a lot to have no goals?

I shouldn't say I have no goals...but rather no ambitions.

My purpose in life is to keep my sanity and not go apesh*t and make the news. To stay out of trouble and stay in the background.

My family is likely moving maybe as soon as the end of the year...so my goal of escaping my hometown and moving someplace more spaced out and quiet will happen.

I've already dated a couple girls who were my type and found attractive and got along with. I'd like a long term girlfriend in the future but it's something I can live without for a long time.

I want to experience sex if only to see what the big deal is and why society hypes it up. I've done everything else including oral, didn't think any of it was a big deal...so just want to demystify sex, have concrete experience..without using or misleading a woman in the process...and hopefully it being a woman I like and respect.

I'm very, very comfortable indoors. Even when I finally move, while I'll spend more time outside (since it will be less hectic and have better views) I'll still spend a lot of time indoors watching shows, on the computer, reading, playing piano, or thinking.

Money isn't a concern to me since disability covers everything I need. I'm a low-maintenance guy and love living with my family...the only people who care about me and likely ever will is my parents and brother.

So my point is...is this normal...just being content other than mental stability issues (meds not working at times and needing adjustments)?

What I mean in particular is...it seems even Aspies have strong interests...computer programming, science, math and such and can make a living out of their special interest. I don't seem to have or desire any.

I had no goals until I realized how much I loved listening to and collecting music, and decided to enter the music industry. Before that my only big obsession was videogames. I'm not a good artist and can't do programming, and I didn't really acknowledge that I listen to WAAAY more music than most people until freshman year of college.

If I were you, I'd make an effort to go out and try new things. Keep an open mind to everything out there that has ever sounded interesting to you. Find something you love that you can monetize in some way. It can be anything.

(Hmm someone questioned my diagnosis because I like new things, but come to think of it, I didn't really acknowledge the value in novelty and spontaneity until I saw the movie Yes Man)

I know what you mean. I would say that a lack of ambition is the best description. Most of the people that I know have things that they want accomplish. My goal is simply to survive and to get as much out of life as I am capable of. That's enough for me. I don't care much about my career or social standing or things that most people want.

Exactly. I have interests, but they are mostly introverted in nature. I love listening to music and I play the piano...but being in a band is a lot like being in a relationship...unless you get along with the people you're playing with, and you're on the same page musically and what your goals are, it's completely pointless.

I do try to form bands (and occasionally am in bands)...but I don't have any desire to be a 24/7 musician. I would like to be in a band that is on the same page musically and gigs occasionally...but that's very feasible (and I am pursuing it.) I guess my point is, like Yensid said, I could care less about social standing, fitting in, career or anything. Surviving and not going apesh*t is all i really care about.

I can understand this perspective. Because the person with ASD lack generally lacks interest in raising a family and tends to not be materialistic-- really the only two reasons NTs want to have a "real job"-- it's easy to fall into this pattern.

I can see this happening to me because right now, at this time, I've got everything I could realistically achieve for myself. I've become obsessed with food, and my ginormous meals every 3-4 days give me something to look forward to at all times. Finanically I am very secure, and I want to do lots of traveling but not only has it become very expensive (see the price at the pump lately?) but to be away from New England for long periods of time jeopardizes my work on film crews. What I want to do is earn more money and get more leverage to go on more road trips. Hopefully this can happen as a result of some career-oriented plans I have that may or may not be successful. If not... well I don't know. The more time that passes, the more self-absorbed I become.

I'm trying to avoid this sort of stagnant future for myself because... I have to. I know deep down that for me, this is not what life is about. I'm pretty sure it won't happen. But I can see why it could for me or someone else. And the key for an Aspie to have personal fulfillment is to get out of the house. Get out there and do stuff, even if it drives you crazy. This stagnation I'm referring to is, at least for me, very unhealthy for the body and mind.

Understand that there if you are intelligent, which it seems like you are, you will feel a lot of pressure from family members and people in your community to get a "real job", the only real purpose of which is to acquire lots of material objects which serve to display your status, as is the intrinisic goal of virtually all NTs, according to basic anthropological principles. If you feel this vibe from people don't let it get to you. So long as you're paying your way no one has a right to tell you how to live your life.

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I am not sure what my goals are...it would help if I did not feel so ridiculously spaced out all the time, kinda hard to focus when your mind likes to drift off to who knows where. But right now I would like to see a change in cannabis policies...people should not be going to jail for using cannabis especially when drinking of all things is legal. but thats just the start of all the problems I have with our system. So if I can ever build up the confidence or whatever I may try and get involved with doing something about that...just sucks my family probably will not approve, which I need to get over.

Well I guess the bigger problem is that even when I'm "happier" I'm not interested in life at all. When I'm happier, I'm watching my favorite TV shows more often (as opposed to not watching them at all when I'm not feeling good.)

Small things please me...like music and food, but I don't LOVE either. I like them a lot, but I can go a day without listening to any song, and some days I'll just eat "whatever" and not really care in particular what I'm eating.

My family gives me a reason to live because we're very close and have similar personalities in a lot of ways.

I'd really say if it weren't for them, and knowing that at least I have them, I probably would have went through with suicide a long time ago.

I'm also extremely misanthropic (after discussing this in therapy in the past...it's my personality anyway. The way I was treated/am treated doesn't make it any better...but I seem to just think most NTs are idiots.)

I'm reminded of a scene in an X-Files episode:

"Most people want to live forever." - Scully
"Most people are idiots, which is why I don't" - Some character.

As for traveling...would love to...went to Virginia Beach and Orlando last year for 2 weeks with my brother and had a great time...but 3,000 dollars later (for 2 people)...for someone without a job or rich parents it can get pretty steep. So I can do without it, especially since I'll be moving with my family soon anyway.