Alexithymia?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm often interested in the correlation between AS and other behavioural traits, such as anhedonia - and this, alexithymia.
I've had another run-in with my family accusing me of being "cold" and "robotic" and when my friend asked me how I felt about that, I said "I don't care."
"Yeah, but how do you actually feel about it?" she asked. I had no answer for that, because I don't really underdtand how to label things in a category, and use a word that is supposed to communicate that it is the same feeling, in the same way, as other people experience it. I have no way of knowing if it's similar or not. Half the time I have no idea what is going on emotionally, let alone the right terms to communicate that to other people. If pressed, I go for broad strokes of either "fine" or "angry."
Thoughts, anyone?

Yeah, I have the same experience of myself.

I don't know if I have alexithymia, but if someone were to ask me I could only come up with very basic descriptions, knowing they were insufficient.

Sometimes I find it hard to understand my own emotions and it's even harder to describe them. I usually need to put some time and work into it. So I often use "good", "bad", "sad", "ok" and etc. Or I just avoid the issue by "I don't want to talk about it". It works better than "I don't really understand what I feel right now". Some people find it hard to believe that you can have problems with identifying your emotions. However I do try to analyze it for myself.

I have a similar issue that I don't distinguish between many varieties of emotion, and if an emotional state is mixed or confusing then I almost always feel it as bad. Sometimes I feel bad when I get excited about something that should be good.

If people ask me about my feelings then I get very defensive, and find it really hard to answer the questions.

I think I fit in this boat, too. The only times I notice my emotions are if I'm insanely happy (which almost NEVER happens), or suffering an anxiety/panic attack, or if I'm really angry or sad about something (those last two usually come together).

My first marriage ended in large part because I sucked at answering the "Yes, but how do you FEEL?" question. My current marriage has some serious bumps for a similar reason; when I'm trying to discuss something with her that I might be upset about, I try to keep the emotion out of my voice so as not to unnecessarily piss her off. But then, that pisses her off, and then she starts dumping on me. And, eventually, I feel very torn-down and demeaned and humiliated, and I get really angry/upset, and start yelling, and then she goes "There, NOW you're sharing your feelings."

Not a comfortable situation. If I had it to do over again, I probably wouldn't get married. Too much crap like this to deal with.

Spock's mom set the precedent. She married a logical vulcan. She didn't expect him to react like a human. And even though Amanda and Sarek continually poked fun at each other for their emotions and lack there of, they accepted each other for what they were.

Yes, we are an 'alien' race. People really need to understand exactly what that means before they decide to commit. That doesn't mean it will always be easy but both need to meet somewhere in the middle of this 'species' disconnect.

I thought you'd already answered her and I'm confused as to why she asked you a second time.

I have this. Most of the time anyone asks me how I'm feeling I either don't know or I fake an answer that'll satisfy them. I can and do feel happy, angry, frustrated, upset, satisfied, etc, but they have to be kind of strong before I feel them, and even stronger before I display them. I think I have an easier time with laughter, but I am not sure how much easier.

I wanted to say:

"I'm not sure how I feel about this thread."

THIS. My main agitator at the moment is my mother, as I'm in the uncomfortable position of being back at my parents' place due to financial fail at the moment. She is continually deliberately provoking me just to get some kind of response that doesn't consist of one word in a monotone. Since I hate being forced to show any kind of emotional response at all apart from middle-ground cheer, it's horrible when she actually gets a response and enjoys it. It's a mean thing to do, in my book.
I would have thought not having to deal with the emotional excesses of others would have been a good thing, rather than a bad thing.
Plus, it appears to seriously annoy her when she is trying to provoke me and fails to get any kind of response. Say if she is trying to start a brawl, and I just walk away without a word and refuse to engage in any way, she starts screaming her head off because she can't make me fight her. Bizarre.

I don't think this applies to me. I have poor emotional control and I have massive switches in my very over emotional states but I usually know why I feel a certain way and know what the emotion is. I don't have any mild emotions though. I am barely neutral, but I can be completely blank but I know why. Then I can go from no emotion to excited, a feeling of extreme elation and then sudden anger, aka. the melt down state.
Usually when I feel uncomfortable and don't know why usually it has to do with any change or an upcoming seizure.