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Jacs
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18 Apr 2011, 7:35 am

I have only had 3 proper jobs (excluding those summer ones during college), and with each of them I have felt a complete failure. One I stayed in for 6 years, not because I enjoyed it but because I believed I wouldn’t get a job anywhere else due to my incompetance.

For all 3 jobs I was told certain things must be done in a certain way and my work would be checked regularly for mistakes etc. and that basically perfection was expected.

This led to me being very miserable in all 3, as I felt I was never a success because I never achieved what my employer expected of me.

However lately someone has told me that all employers do this and that they don’t really expect perfection but like to give people something to aspire to and to be motivate by!

I can’t say I understand this at all. If someone tells me they expect a certain thing of me, especially at work, I do my up most to achieve it.

Even if I was an NT, how is putting forward an expectation of perfection meant to inspire me! After all no one is prefect, so how is setting a target I can’t possibly achieve meant to inspire and motive me??

Has anyone had similar experiences with working or know the answe to this one?


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shaybugz
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18 Apr 2011, 7:57 am

Yes! My work is worse because they set up a goal-sysytem of 1(best), 2, 3(bare minumim)- 5.

You won't get 3's without actually putting in the effort... but in my view 3's are failing, and I'd like to get a 1 but they are crazy-insane (we're talking 90 units an hour). So that's basically near impossible...


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BTDT
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18 Apr 2011, 7:59 am

I'd suggest watching your co-workers and strive to do everything just as well as everyone else. This is what NTs do--they watch everyone else to see what the real standards are. You should do the same.

You are making the common Aspie mistake of taking things to literally.



Jacs
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18 Apr 2011, 9:42 am

BTDT wrote:
I'd suggest watching your co-workers and strive to do everything just as well as everyone else. This is what NTs do--they watch everyone else to see what the real standards are. You should do the same.

You are making the common Aspie mistake of taking things to literally.


Oh I see. Will do that. Have never taken much notice of how much work others do to be honest, just tend to concentate what I have to do.

Still don't understand though, how is setting impossible targets supose to motive you?


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18 Apr 2011, 9:48 am

Jacs wrote:
Still don't understand though, how is setting impossible targets supose to motive you?


I don't get it either. Set me a realistic target and I'll meet or exceed it.
Set me an impossible one, or one you've just randomly thought up, and I'll struggle to meet it, realise at some point during the attempt to meet it that I can't, and end up in a non-functional state.



Last edited by YellowBanana on 18 Apr 2011, 9:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

JeremyNJ1984
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18 Apr 2011, 9:52 am

Jacs wrote:
I have only had 3 proper jobs (excluding those summer ones during college), and with each of them I have felt a complete failure. One I stayed in for 6 years, not because I enjoyed it but because I believed I wouldn’t get a job anywhere else due to my incompetance.

For all 3 jobs I was told certain things must be done in a certain way and my work would be checked regularly for mistakes etc. and that basically perfection was expected.

This led to me being very miserable in all 3, as I felt I was never a success because I never achieved what my employer expected of me.

However lately someone has told me that all employers do this and that they don’t really expect perfection but like to give people something to aspire to and to be motivate by!

I can’t say I understand this at all. If someone tells me they expect a certain thing of me, especially at work, I do my up most to achieve it.


The dark truth of it is that employers don't really expect you to be " perfect" but its done to instill a sense of fear in you so that you become self motivated to work harder and not slack off. If you fear having your employer looking over your shoulder you're going to try and make sure your always on task and doing the job the best you can.

Even if I was an NT, how is putting forward an expectation of perfection meant to inspire me! After all no one is prefect, so how is setting a target I can’t possibly achieve meant to inspire and motive me??

Has anyone had similar experiences with working or know the answe to this one?



JeremyNJ1984
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18 Apr 2011, 9:52 am

JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
I have only had 3 proper jobs (excluding those summer ones during college), and with each of them I have felt a complete failure. One I stayed in for 6 years, not because I enjoyed it but because I believed I wouldn’t get a job anywhere else due to my incompetance.

For all 3 jobs I was told certain things must be done in a certain way and my work would be checked regularly for mistakes etc. and that basically perfection was expected.

This led to me being very miserable in all 3, as I felt I was never a success because I never achieved what my employer expected of me.

However lately someone has told me that all employers do this and that they don’t really expect perfection but like to give people something to aspire to and to be motivate by!

I can’t say I understand this at all. If someone tells me they expect a certain thing of me, especially at work, I do my up most to achieve it.



Even if I was an NT, how is putting forward an expectation of perfection meant to inspire me! After all no one is prefect, so how is setting a target I can’t possibly achieve meant to inspire and motive me??

Has anyone had similar experiences with working or know the answe to this one?


The dark truth of it is that employers don't really expect you to be " perfect" but its done to instill a sense of fear in you so that you become self motivated to work harder and not slack off. If you fear having your employer looking over your shoulder you're going to try and make sure your always on task and doing the job the best you can.



Jacs
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18 Apr 2011, 9:56 am

YellowBanana wrote:
Jacs wrote:
Still don't understand though, how is setting impossible targets supose to motive you?


I don't get it either. Set me a realistic target and I'll meet or exceed it.
Set me an impossible one, or one you've just randomly thought up, and I'll struggle to meet it, realise at some point during the attempt to meet it that I can't, and end up in a non-functional state.


Exactly and they then ended up with a lot less work from me coz I get in such state nothing gets done!!


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Jacs
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18 Apr 2011, 9:58 am

JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
I have only had 3 proper jobs (excluding those summer ones during college), and with each of them I have felt a complete failure. One I stayed in for 6 years, not because I enjoyed it but because I believed I wouldn’t get a job anywhere else due to my incompetance.

For all 3 jobs I was told certain things must be done in a certain way and my work would be checked regularly for mistakes etc. and that basically perfection was expected.

This led to me being very miserable in all 3, as I felt I was never a success because I never achieved what my employer expected of me.

However lately someone has told me that all employers do this and that they don’t really expect perfection but like to give people something to aspire to and to be motivate by!

I can’t say I understand this at all. If someone tells me they expect a certain thing of me, especially at work, I do my up most to achieve it.



Even if I was an NT, how is putting forward an expectation of perfection meant to inspire me! After all no one is prefect, so how is setting a target I can’t possibly achieve meant to inspire and motive me??

Has anyone had similar experiences with working or know the answe to this one?


The dark truth of it is that employers don't really expect you to be " perfect" but its done to instill a sense of fear in you so that you become self motivated to work harder and not slack off. If you fear having your employer looking over your shoulder you're going to try and make sure your always on task and doing the job the best you can.


So they are actually trying to scare you rather than motivate you then?


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18 Apr 2011, 9:59 am

Jacs wrote:
BTDT wrote:
I'd suggest watching your co-workers and strive to do everything just as well as everyone else. This is what NTs do--they watch everyone else to see what the real standards are. You should do the same.

You are making the common Aspie mistake of taking things to literally.


Oh I see. Will do that. Have never taken much notice of how much work others do to be honest, just tend to concentate what I have to do.

Still don't understand though, how is setting impossible targets supose to motive you?


I imagine it's there to make you try hard. Of course, smart folks will quickly learn what is reasonable, and adjust themselves accordingly.


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syrella
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18 Apr 2011, 10:03 am

It doesn't make a lot of logical sense and to me I think it could actually be quite demotivating. But it's the way it's done, I guess, for better or for worse. Maybe they are afraid that if they tell people a reasonable goal, people will never strive to do better?


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18 Apr 2011, 10:12 am

Jacs wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
I have only had 3 proper jobs (excluding those summer ones during college), and with each of them I have felt a complete failure. One I stayed in for 6 years, not because I enjoyed it but because I believed I wouldn’t get a job anywhere else due to my incompetance.

For all 3 jobs I was told certain things must be done in a certain way and my work would be checked regularly for mistakes etc. and that basically perfection was expected.

This led to me being very miserable in all 3, as I felt I was never a success because I never achieved what my employer expected of me.

However lately someone has told me that all employers do this and that they don’t really expect perfection but like to give people something to aspire to and to be motivate by!

I can’t say I understand this at all. If someone tells me they expect a certain thing of me, especially at work, I do my up most to achieve it.



Even if I was an NT, how is putting forward an expectation of perfection meant to inspire me! After all no one is prefect, so how is setting a target I can’t possibly achieve meant to inspire and motive me??

Has anyone had similar experiences with working or know the answe to this one?


The dark truth of it is that employers don't really expect you to be " perfect" but its done to instill a sense of fear in you so that you become self motivated to work harder and not slack off. If you fear having your employer looking over your shoulder you're going to try and make sure your always on task and doing the job the best you can.


So they are actually trying to scare you rather than motivate you then?


In essence...fear is a form of motivation. They dont want you to be afraid of work, they just want a disciplined worker who understands expectations.



Jacs
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18 Apr 2011, 10:25 am

JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
I have only had 3 proper jobs (excluding those summer ones during college), and with each of them I have felt a complete failure. One I stayed in for 6 years, not because I enjoyed it but because I believed I wouldn’t get a job anywhere else due to my incompetance.

For all 3 jobs I was told certain things must be done in a certain way and my work would be checked regularly for mistakes etc. and that basically perfection was expected.

This led to me being very miserable in all 3, as I felt I was never a success because I never achieved what my employer expected of me.

However lately someone has told me that all employers do this and that they don’t really expect perfection but like to give people something to aspire to and to be motivate by!

I can’t say I understand this at all. If someone tells me they expect a certain thing of me, especially at work, I do my up most to achieve it.



Even if I was an NT, how is putting forward an expectation of perfection meant to inspire me! After all no one is prefect, so how is setting a target I can’t possibly achieve meant to inspire and motive me??

Has anyone had similar experiences with working or know the answe to this one?


The dark truth of it is that employers don't really expect you to be " perfect" but its done to instill a sense of fear in you so that you become self motivated to work harder and not slack off. If you fear having your employer looking over your shoulder you're going to try and make sure your always on task and doing the job the best you can.


So they are actually trying to scare you rather than motivate you then?


In essence...fear is a form of motivation. They dont want you to be afraid of work, they just want a disciplined worker who understands expectations.


To me, fear only causes me to meltdown and get in a state.


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18 Apr 2011, 10:28 am

Jacs wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
I have only had 3 proper jobs (excluding those summer ones during college), and with each of them I have felt a complete failure. One I stayed in for 6 years, not because I enjoyed it but because I believed I wouldn’t get a job anywhere else due to my incompetance.

For all 3 jobs I was told certain things must be done in a certain way and my work would be checked regularly for mistakes etc. and that basically perfection was expected.

This led to me being very miserable in all 3, as I felt I was never a success because I never achieved what my employer expected of me.

However lately someone has told me that all employers do this and that they don’t really expect perfection but like to give people something to aspire to and to be motivate by!

I can’t say I understand this at all. If someone tells me they expect a certain thing of me, especially at work, I do my up most to achieve it.



Even if I was an NT, how is putting forward an expectation of perfection meant to inspire me! After all no one is prefect, so how is setting a target I can’t possibly achieve meant to inspire and motive me??

Has anyone had similar experiences with working or know the answe to this one?


The dark truth of it is that employers don't really expect you to be " perfect" but its done to instill a sense of fear in you so that you become self motivated to work harder and not slack off. If you fear having your employer looking over your shoulder you're going to try and make sure your always on task and doing the job the best you can.


So they are actually trying to scare you rather than motivate you then?


In essence...fear is a form of motivation. They dont want you to be afraid of work, they just want a disciplined worker who understands expectations.


To me, fear only causes me to meltdown and get in a state.


Most workplace behaviour modifiers are designed to work on NTs, as is most of everything.


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JeremyNJ1984
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18 Apr 2011, 10:30 am

Jacs wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
I have only had 3 proper jobs (excluding those summer ones during college), and with each of them I have felt a complete failure. One I stayed in for 6 years, not because I enjoyed it but because I believed I wouldn’t get a job anywhere else due to my incompetance.

For all 3 jobs I was told certain things must be done in a certain way and my work would be checked regularly for mistakes etc. and that basically perfection was expected.

This led to me being very miserable in all 3, as I felt I was never a success because I never achieved what my employer expected of me.

However lately someone has told me that all employers do this and that they don’t really expect perfection but like to give people something to aspire to and to be motivate by!

I can’t say I understand this at all. If someone tells me they expect a certain thing of me, especially at work, I do my up most to achieve it.



Even if I was an NT, how is putting forward an expectation of perfection meant to inspire me! After all no one is prefect, so how is setting a target I can’t possibly achieve meant to inspire and motive me??

Has anyone had similar experiences with working or know the answe to this one?


The dark truth of it is that employers don't really expect you to be " perfect" but its done to instill a sense of fear in you so that you become self motivated to work harder and not slack off. If you fear having your employer looking over your shoulder you're going to try and make sure your always on task and doing the job the best you can.


So they are actually trying to scare you rather than motivate you then?


In essence...fear is a form of motivation. They dont want you to be afraid of work, they just want a disciplined worker who understands expectations.


To me, fear only causes me to meltdown and get in a state.



Well...I wish I can say find a job where you dont have a little fear, but they just dont exist. Everyone has a boss, and if they are a boss they have fear for their company all the time. No way to escape it if you want a job/career. You just gotta roll with the flow sometimes and take it at your pace...if a boss is abusive, thats when its over the line and its time to move on with your life. If your boss has expectations, thats par for the course. Your not going to find a boss who is going to be your best friend.



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18 Apr 2011, 10:53 am

YellowBanana wrote:
Jacs wrote:
Still don't understand though, how is setting impossible targets supose to motive you?


I don't get it either. Set me a realistic target and I'll meet or exceed it.
Set me an impossible one, or one you've just randomly thought up, and I'll struggle to meet it, realise at some point during the attempt to meet it that I can't, and end up in a non-functional state.

I am the same way.

And I work for myself. But I still try to meet unrealistic expectations from clients, because I just don't know how to judge time and effort like other people seem to. So I end up suffering through multiple meltdowns/shutdowns to end up with a product which I think is mediocre, and then the client thinks it's the best thing ever. :huh: