A question for people on the spectrum about relationships

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I have never been in a relationship before, and personally--although I would like to someday--I don't think it would be possible. I have no idea how to talk to people. My Mom thinks that might be different if I ever met a guy I like with autism though.

Soooo...my question is, for those of you who have had a relationship (or are married), do you seem to have more success with other ASDers or with NTs?

If you never had a relationship, do you think you would have more success with others ASDers or with NTs?

If you are NT or really not sure, feel free to comment, but please don't skew the answers in poll!

I've only ever been in one relationship, and he's NT. But I don't have anything to compare to in order to say which I prefer.

I am married to someone who is not ASD, but would tickle the lower ends of many scores. I think it helps that we have some common characteristics, most importantly obsessive interests in our own pet subjects. It is probably easier to understand and make room for a partner's obsessions if you have your own.

I've almost been in a relationship. Personally, he was not for me because he was also very awkward. I would prefer someone with more social skills because that would benefit us both in the end because we would balance each other out. And if he is as understanding as the boy I was almost in a relationship with, then that would be just fine.
I think it would be hard to date another person with autism if you were autistic. Granted, you would have each other to lean on, but when it comes to social interactions, it would be hard to learn from each other. It's just my opinion. Meh. But I think if NTs were very understanding, they would be very nice partners as well.

I don't know that I have a preference, but also what I want in a relationship is pretty atypical, and I am not sure how much I want a relationship.

I have never been in a relationship, or even been on a date before, but in high school I seemed to get along with NT males (we had similar senses of humor, they were somewhat easy to talk to, etc...) so I think that I would prefer to be in a relationship with an NT.

As others have posted, I think it would be good for one of us to be able to communicate easily with people and to do things that I cannot always do such as talk on the phone.

I once had a co-worker once that was an Aspie, and although we were friendly and understood each other, our conversations were still very awkward because neither of us are able to carry on conversations very well. Additionally, when I observed how other people reacted to him (often with fear, confusion, talking behind his back, laughing at him) it made me depressed because I knew they were doing the same thing to me too, so I would prefer to be with someone who was able to bring out my positive traits and make me more comfortable rather than less comfortable.

I am in a serious relationship with my first boyfriend ever, and seeing as he is [technically] NT (he's dyslexic), I don't think I can say if I have a preference. We've never had a problem, though I've never had much of a problem getting along with those of the, ummm.....male persuasion, at least once they've matured into semi-adult people (pre-teen and teenage guys have always been the bane of my existence).

I have been married to my wife (NT) for 27 years. But that does not mean I prefer NT vs Aspie relationships, only that this relationship has endured. I do not prefer any type of relationship over another. I do prefer some sort of relationship over loneliness.

I have never been in a relationship with any NTs. My last two, the first one had ADHD, anxiety, depression I suspect, and aspie traits. My mom thinks he had other things going on with him too like borderline retardation, schizophrenia or his mother did drugs while she was pregnant with him. Even my dad thought he had some mental retardation in him.

My last ex had AS, PTSD, misdiagnosed as ADHD, some dyslexia, learning issues, anxiety, and depression.

But those two relationships didn't turn out right. I decided I wanted to date an NT only but I met my husband who isn't NT either since his mind isn't wired like one.

I am a NT in a relationship with someone with AS. Honestly, I think I perfer it! Ive been in tons of relationships with NTs and they never lasted. My husband is honest, loyal, loving, devoted and I am his special interest. What more can a girl ask for"?

I've only had a relationship with one ASD person, so cannot really comment...BUT...

...from my limited experience with ASD men I don't think it'd work well, of course I may be wrong and everyone is different, but I find it harder to understand what motivates ASD men, and I'm a bit too high-maintenance to be with someone who probably has as many needs as I do. Plus my partners tend to be my link between me and the rest of society, they often do the things for me that I may struggle with myself.

ASD women however...it might work. I think for me with NT's I get along with and understand men better than women, where as with ASD people I feel it's the other way round, and that ASD women are a lot closer to how I am than NT women so it may well be easier to have a relationship with an ASD woman than an NT woman.

I've never had a relationship and i have no preference for whom i may be with in the future. I can see the benefits of being with both. Someone functional who can do the things that you can not do ,and also the shared understanding and experiences of two aspies may create a greater tolerance for each other and a more intimate bond.

My only experience in relationships has been with people not on the Spectrum. I would say that ultimately the important thing (as with any relationship) is that you can both accept each others high points and low points and that possibly another ASD person would be in a better position to understand the challenges you might face? But that there are NTs out there that are probably just as able to be supportive and understanding when needed.

So I guess "no real preference as long as they can accept me for who I am" is the answer.

I was married to an NT for 7 years, and she was very socially aggressive, which was very helpful for me cause she would handle things that would normally be very difficult for me to do on my own or that I can't grasp (such as being included in social events and not feel awkward, dealing with setting up accounts for bills and student loans and the like.) and we really accented each others weak and strong points. On the down side, she ended up being more of like a mom to me than a wife, and things went downhill from there. I've never had a relationship with another aspie, but I assume it would be counter productive as well.

I don't have a preference. Or rather, I have preferences, but they're not about whether someone's autistic or not.

I have been with one of each, and I found that I do better with people on the spectrum.

This is based mostly on the fact that although I have made great strides as far as communication goes, I still feel like I have to be psychic to be able to understand an NT. Plus the NT ex-girlfriend cheated on me.

Granted there still can be obstacles in an ASD-ASD relationship, depending on what level of functioning the two people are. For instance, I am very high-functioning/mild AS who can handle routine changes rather well, and has overcome his sensory issues. I think for such a relationship to work, it would work better with someone with a similar level of functioning.

For the records, I haven't had a single meltdown in almost 11 months as of today.