Shutdown and meltdowns, which do you have?

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OK, we have a thread like this for meltdowns. However, I have meltdowns, but I have never had a shutdown. Shutdowns seem more common than meltdowns here. However, I have had meltdowns, but not shutdowns.

Also, people here seem to have both meltdowns and shutdowns that last for days, however, I have never had one of these.

I have both and in varying degrees of severity.

When I was growing up(8-17ish), I would have major meltdowns at my family (screaming, yelling, cursing, hitting walls, slamming doors, throwing things, even pushed my mom down once when she tried to grab me). Afterwards, I think I would shut down but I don't really remember. My parents had no idea why I was doing this because it seemed to be really little things that set me off. They got so bad my parents called the police a few times and they sent me to anger management classes.

Now (30) I don't really meltdown anymore. I can usually feel my face getting really hot when I am getting angry and extract myself from the situation. Living alone helps too.

I voted mostly shutdowns, but some meltdowns. But really I haven't had a true meltdown in quite awhile. But when I was younger, I had a whole lot of meltdowns but even more shutdowns. As I just said in another thread, it seems to have to do with a movement disorder that gets in the way of meltdowns sometimes, more than it is about my self-control (although I have gained some self-control too).

I am not sure I fully understand what people here define as a shutdown (anyone care to elaborate?--I've never seen the term before in this sense).

I chose that I have mostly meltdowns. If I have had a few shutdowns, they have definitely been far less than meltdowns.

A shutdown is when you "shut the world out". That's the best I could do. I'm sure someone else can explain it better.

I think shutdowns come about when you try to keep a meltdown in. There are other reasons such as social exhaustion where you a day later feel both mental and physical exhaustion and barely have motivation to do anything.

Sensory shutdown: The bombardment of sensory stimuli is inescapable and amplified the longer you are exposed to it. If I don't have a meltdown I will begin to have what I call a switch between what was the background vs. the foreground. My visual sense sharpens the details right in front of me but the background senses mute. My mind feels like it's miles away and I way stim more, find it absolutely impossible to even move my head to face someone or move any limbs at all, or lose speech completely. In most severe cases I'd get sleepy but a shutdown can go as far as falling asleep. Interestingly, a friend who had light sensitive epilepsy would 'freak out' as she called it then fall asleep. It pretty much sounded like a meltdown followed by a shutdown but was actually a seizure disorder. I have seizures too so it's hard to know what is a seizure and what is a shutdown. When there is limb jerking it's a seizure for me. So usually my shutdowns are of the exhaustion kind.

Emotional shutdown: The same thing tends to happen but it's triggered by suppressed emotions. I can feel depressed for maybe half a day, even less and barely want to do anything. Other times I can be completely non-functional, almost catatonic.

I have meltdowns a lot, especially when hungry or having some sort of health complication. I find I can't easily suppress one when I'm feeling overstimulated. Worse one was when I was hungry and all their was to eat was sugary snacks and drink beer. It's better to starve than put that stuff in my body when surrounded by noises and heat rays from the sun with no glasses of any kind to protect my eyes. It was horrible and later I actually got told to never act that way again.

Shutdowns can also come about without trying to keep a meltdown in, but keeping a meltdown in seems to be a good way to create one that wasn't already going to happen.

http://www.shutdownsandstressinautism.c ... paper.html
http://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/writeups/shutdown

A good description someone else linked to in another thread, which I still had open in another tab: http://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/writeups/shutdown.

I experience what that paper describes as "sensory shutdown," in which I come close to losing vision and hearing; "receptive language shutdowns," in which I cannot interpret speech or writing (this is often the first major indication that real shutdown is approaching rapidly); "Expressive language shutdowns," losing most of my (normally extensive) vocabulary and grammar; occasional "Speech shutdown," during which I lose virtually all communication abilities; and "Motor shutdowns," becoming very slow moving and clumsy - stairs are particularly difficult to navigate.

I very rarely go into a "full shutdown" anymore - thank god! and it's been many years since one occurred in public. I credit this to what they describe as "voluntary aspects of shutdown." Once I realize a shutdown is in progress, I accept partial loss of vision (and virtually all hearing), and simply give up my language skills - both receptive and expressive - to maintain enough motor control to leave the situation and get to somewhere private. Often, that is enough to prevent things from progressing to a full shutdown, and my lost abilities come back, taking anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours to return to normal.

I find the experience to be quite unpleasant. Actually, just thinking about it to write this is disturbing.

Ah yes, I wanted to explain that type too but couldn't find the words then someone came home and I panicked, as though what I write in this forum is sensitive information.

I don't come close to losing vision. I have visual disturbances if you will. Sometimes hallucinations or just a blurriness. Sounds become muffled for me. I suppose that's a better word to use instead of mute. I get expressive language shutdowns a lot and this can carry onto the next day. It takes a few days to be able to write and comprehend written information as well as I usually do. I have been experiencing those last two a lot too.

yes, both

My field of vision becomes restricted, with things on the periphery obscured by what I can only describe as a gray fog. As the "fog" moves further in, the things in my remaining field of vision seem to get further away. Eventually, it seems as if I'm looking through paper towel cores at very distant objects.

Muffled sounds - yes! Like sitting in a car, and someone outside is talking to me through the closed window - and then another window. And another. Then, as I lose my ability to process language, it becomes garbled and jumbled up, and stops being words. It's just jibber-jabber, as meaningful as a barking dog a block away.

I have both.............but my meltdowns are much more frequent. I'm really emotional, really sensitive to criticism (and to sensory overload in crowds), and I have full blown crying/screaming meltdowns fairly often! Shutdowns are rare.............

Mostly meltdowns here.

I can relate to that. I see it as more things in front of me becoming sharper like when you put on glasses objects become more defined except I already have glasses on. Everything else seems to blur.