Tips for first aspie meet

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Joined local social group but haven't been before as meet #1 was bowling which is awkward with strangers, then meet #2 was in a restaurant and I don't do restaurants so my head would have exploded just trying to walk through the door.

This month the meet is in the autism base room at my college - apparently entertainment includes playing on console games and bored games, but hey apparently there's a pool table at least - I'm worried, as many are, that people in this group may be less independent, not as high functioning, and generally have no similar interests to me, and that's even before the issues of ASD's trying to socialise with each other. I'm not sure if I have the chance to lurk a bit to check-out the others before I go in, or how to actually go in and initiate contact.

So, wondering if anyone can offer any advice or tips...

Have you contacted the people who actually run this group before you go along?

They would be the best people to speak to regarding your concerns.

I would say though that you might find yourself marginalised in such a group for the very issues you have infact already self identified. Welcome to the club, quite a few of us who are on this site are in simialir situations to yourself in that regard.

What those groups serve as is a foundation for people to establish a social circle in the absence of none in some respects

I've not been in touch with the person in charge of the group (NAS staff member), not sure how I would approach the subject with her, it's tough to be polite about asking what people in the group are like.

And being that they are part of the NAS It won't exactly take them by suprise if you ask something in an "inpolite" manor when your an aspie?

You do know there are plenty of aspies who would have approached them and found such a group either not to their needs or level before. But if you don't ask, you don't find out.

Anyway let us know how it goes either way. Just might save yourself a bit of trouble if you find out in advance rather then turn up all anxious ridden and walking into the unknown. But up to you.

before i joined or attended my local aspie group, i asked quite bluntly, "what level of functioning are the other people at?" she assured me that the group only allowed entry of quite high functioning individuals. in my opinion it is perfectly acceptable to ask that quite directly, because if i am not a good fit at the outset it is rather a waste of time to attend.

we have 2 components - the social support group aspect and an activity club aspect. once i joined the group, i found that i could offer some input in the activities that we did, which i am sure is true with every group. so even if you do not enjoy the activities at your first meeting, it may be the case that you can help steer future plans.

i joined in the fall and attended sporadically since then. i found that i was extremely high functioning in some ways, but much lower functioning in other ways. it was quite a mixed bag, and no two people have been really alike in their package of issues and strengths.

i had difficulty with changes to the group (i.e. different leader, venue, or activities, and this was really the ONLY place i have ever felt comfortable actually verbalising my discomfort instead of just suffering in silence and later melting down or taking sick or shutting down or avoiding the situation. so it is a place where i feel safe that i don't need to hide my real feelings.

and i am among other people who have the same main social issues as me, so it's like a relief in some ways. we all expect each other to have a lack of eye contact, avoidance of handshakes, interrupting, tangential conversation topics, inappropriate jokes, tendency to take things literally etc. so it's cool that way.

sorry for the essay. the group i attend is not perfect, but i do enjoy attending. it is the only group in my city of this sort.