Can Anyone Relate To The "Fragile" Stage After Burnout?

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My last hard hitting burnout (breakdown?) was in september 2019. I have still not recovered. I am in a semi fragile stage as I write. All I know to aid recovery is to try to avoid stress, but this is not easy.
Anyone experienced this? How many years did it take to recover?

I have experienced that, but I'm not sure how to respond. I feel it might come across as discouraging. I apologize if it does. It took me several years to bounce back, and honestly, I don't think I ever fully did. But for me, it happened over ten years ago, and I think it took a good five years for me to be comfortable saying I was okay with some consistency. I'm not fragile like I was back then, I'm much better now than I was five years ago, which was worlds better than five years before that. Still, I'm not the same as I was before that burnout. So yeah, it took me a good five years easy. But that's just me, and I had a big mess of stuff going on back then that either was made worse by the burnout or made the burnout worse or both.

Do not worry about telling me that. I am just glad that it is not me. Each burnout I had I would say even two years later I was not fully recovered, but about a year I would try and work again and it would repeat itself.
My problem is that I try and force myself to be right enough to work again as I am a bit of a people pleaser.

I have to be honest and say the last three burnouts that I hit, I feel oike it is more like a five year recovery process, and because I ended up having the last three within around 6 months of each other, I was hit harder and harder and harder, as I was only starting to recover enough after the one I had before (No where near fully recovered) when I was offered a jobagain and felt I could not refuse it, but I thought that as it was low hours part time work...

Well. Each day before the shift I had to come in half an hour early as I was paralized in the car for about 20 to 30 minutes, so I could not get out the car. I could drive in ok, but I just could not walk.

My problem is I will push and push to the utmost and as it was temporary jobs (The last three) I pushed myself to the last day as I did not want to lwt them down which caused me to be much harder hit then if I was not so stupid to do that.
Also prior to this when I started hitting burnout I would hand in my notice, but that left me with about a month to work before my end day. The last mont or few weeks were horrible to get through. Just trying to get my body to move, let alone do physical work...

But anyway... Thank you so much for the reply as you have confirmed what I feel. Trying to convince others that I need to take things easy and not to try and push myself too hard is difficult, as not many people believe me. I was in a stage where I was heading for a major mental breakdown because people would not believe me so I had to push myself beyond the limits. Being called "Lazy" and other similar words when others don't realize what I am going through or have been through... Bodily wize, I felt like my body had gone through a concentration camp experience as every move I made took so much effort. Was like I had run a marathon and then had to go and do physical work.
The most annoying thing is when others don't know and can't see it. I was going through strings of partial shutdowns like a continous chain while I was working. It was horrible! I was also continually fighting off full shutdowns stimming like mad, eating chocolate and drinking sugary cola... Anything to give my body a boost and to fend off a full shutdown, and I had quite a few. (Fortunately I was working out the back so no one noticed though when on the floor recovering from one once, I pretended I was looking for a little washer to make it look normal that I was on the floor!)

I have heard others go through burnout and it only took them a week or two to recover. When I heard that I was beginning to ask myself if it was burnout I had hit or if it was a mental breakdown? You have confirmed that it is burnout, but like shutdowns, I guess what I was describing and what others were describing were somewhat mild? (I am not trying to belittle others experiences at all. Far from it. I want to raise awareness because there could be others going through some aweful experiences, and if they were like I was where I did not know what they are, then life can be far worse as one starts believing one is a failure and lazy etc, but one does not know how to make ones body work, so one tries to force it to work and hits a major burnout).

Anyway. Thank you so much for your reply. Much appreciated!

Good. Glad it wasn't disheartening, what I wrote.

I used to have 'mini burnouts' before my last big one. They weren't mini to me at the time, but just compared to the last one they were. I didn't know what they were And figured everyone experienced them. I thought I had to suck it up and keep on keeping on. Each one got progressively worse for me. I didn't know how to properly care for me back then. Maybe the people you mention hadn't had multiple burnouts. sounds like you and I both have. That might be part of why it takes us longer.

I liken this stuff to living In a box. I used to fight the walls of the box, trying to push through and get out. Now, I don't fight the walls to scramble out. I learn how to live within the parameters of the box. If that's makes sense.

I used to do self care as a reactionary thing. Now I do it as a preventative thing. That's made a world of difference for me. self care after a burnout is sooooo important. If you're not ready, trying to push yourself will likely only send your progress backwards and make things worse. That solid foundation is needed before anything else. For me anyhow, from there I can get onto preventative self care and keep myself okay, ideally.

That's one thing I can be pleased about regarding my burnout. I learned how to take care of me and live in my metaphorical box comfortably. I didn't that before. I kept pushing and even though I might do okay for awhile, I wasn't really that okay, just building again for the next burnout that's eventually came. I haven't had one in ten years now and that is freakin awesome.

Yeah, pushing oneself isn't good, and it's not out of failure or anything like that. Not pushing is respecting yourself and caring for you enough to do what's best for you. Learning to understand and work within your own boundaries is what I believe to be the best route for people. I wish I would have know all this before too. But hey, at least we know now right?

In one way the last burnout was a blessing as I realized I needed help and I went out and saw the autism team and they arranged a letter for my doctor so she could arrange for me to have a sick note so I could go on a sickness benefit. If it was not for their help like this, I would have tried working again and something would have broke, as the last burnout I had, I came soo close to ending up physically dissabled... It scared me!

I'm not sure...


My version of mini burnouts consists of nigh vulnerability than fragility.
Easy to interpret as fragile, when in reality it's just lack of internally layered defences against stimuli.
By making ALL stimuli, in any amount very painful and then therefore having this rather very stressful existence for a day, week... So far, months.

Fatigue seems an encompassing thing.
But in my interpretation the fatigue lies somewhere inside my head, where all the senses supposed go, and that part cannot take it anymore.

My only work around was sheer tolerance and whatever remains of my constitution, because I lack thresholds.
It's like going out in a very violent storm naked. Or at least severely underequipped.


I'm sure my first one started around late childhood, which may led to my diagnosis.
It was accumulated to my early teen years, end up stopped going to school for 2 years.

It is unknown right after that, but I was sure it did happened again. Not as drastic but still.


I lost a bit in actual burnouts.
Somewhere along the line, I probably lost some of my ability to recall, hold and absorb information.
Maybe how my senses process language, because I didn't always had that.
Also certain drives and desires, degrees of my rational and emotional awareness, and even overall stamina.
Becoming sloppier, more inattentive, more unreliable... I'm not even 30 yet.

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I get a feeling with the fragile stage which I can't explain. I am not too good at describing feelings so I don't know how to explain.. Ooh. Ok. Thought of one. You know when a virus hits you and you have a weak feeling and a type of illness feeling where your body is not quite "With it" but you don't feel sick (As in you are not going to throw up), but you just feel wishy-washy? You feel weak and your balance is not exactly 100% there.

That is what I call "Fragile" but it is a bit more then that because it effects me also in a mental way depending on how deep the feeling is.
I had the fragile feeling after the last burnout in full force, and it stays for a few weeks, then goes, then when stress comes my way it comes back... I am in it now. It lasts ages unless I can get life to give me a few weeks of no stress!
When I get hit badly by "Fragile", I not only get the feeling but it effects me more seriously in a pysical/mental way. I have stood there in a carpark where I used to work, and need to walk to the next shop across the car park, but I just stood there as I had lost the knowledge of "How" to walk. I had to manually think how to walk and the only way I ended up walking, is I realized I have to move one of my feet forwards! I know it sounds silly, but I had completely forgotton how to walk! Then I had to work out which foot and leg to move first as I have two of them where I was standing there trying to make a decsion!
Driving my car, my legs pretty much behave, but where I had issues now and then during a deeper fragile stage is when I had moments where I lost the ability to instinctively know which gear to change the car into. (Most of my life I have driven manual cars. Stick shifts you call them. I did drive an automatic in the past when I had my Dads old Mercades after he died, and I had driven his automatic Peugeot before that). But with having lost my ability to remember how to change gear for a moment now and then it was a case of "Any gear. They're all in the same box!" type of thing, and I found myself selecring reverse while doing 30 to 40 mph down the road ad hearing the gears grating... Oh. You are ok. It does not get into reverse while driving forward at speed! Haha!

Writing this is the first time I have been able to describe what "Fragile" feels like. It feels like when you wake up in the morning feeling of having an illness coming on you (E.g. a virus) but it has not developed into anything yet for you to identify what sort of illness you have... That sort of feeling. Where if you vomit you will not be surprized.
Now that is what "Fragile" kind of feels like, but ones body is ok... It comes from the mental side, so it effects my body but via the mind if that makes sense? Like I will find myself walking like the cartoon character called "Goofy". (A human dog type of character) which is highly embarissing when one is out walking in a public place.
Usually it is just the feeling I get, but I do find while in this stage I can be vunerable to getting real viruses as if someone calls in with a cold I will get it. If someone calls in having had the flu jab, I will get full blown flu etc, so it does not just effect me mentally as in a feeling, but my body is weak with it.

Sometimes we can be describing the same thing but not able to put it into the same words. I am glad it is not only me because I realize that I am describing something which is explainable. I mean... I would rather that no one has it. But at least I can understand what it is.

I'm still learning about what all these terms mean and how they relate to my life, now and in the past. My doc said it sounds like I definitely had a severe burnout when my german shepherd died 2 years ago. And that I haven't really recovered from that. So I'm not sure if I'm considered still in burnout or the after effects of one.

I know that since then I have general lethargy and malaise. My senses seem to always been in overload. Like a switch has been flipped that ramped up the noise on everything and won't turn off. It's exhausting just leaving the house.

Sometimes after running just a couple errands I feel like I've been hit by a truck or run a marathon. The drive home from said errands is ... difficult. I mean I have trouble processing information other than what is needed to drive home. My mom said if she talks to me when I'm like this my responses make no sense or are a mumble, jumble of jiberish. I think I'm talking normally but I am not.

Also, sometimes I feel like I'm in a fog and my sense of time is scattered. Like some of you mentioned sometimes out in public things feel out of place or wonky. Like the world has gone all Topsy turvy and its difficult to walk in a straight line or people talking to you seem all worbbly. Sometimes the air around me feels are worbbly. Not sure if I'm explaining this well. Its difficult to put into words. I guess it feels like your in one of those "fun" houses at a carnival. I have to hold onto Appa (my furbaby) sometimes just make the world stop moving.

Thank you for the reply. It is good that you were able to explain things to your doctor and that your doctor understands. I did not know where to start when attempting to explain so my doctors knows very little. I was going to first try to get myself assessed before I start to explain, as it is not easy. It was only with the last burnout that I knew what it was and what the shutdowns were called, as it was only after trying to get to the bottom of things that I joined this site to find out.

Yeah. I didn't know what the shutdowns I've been having most of my life were called until recently either. Or the burnout until last month. My doc, the psychologist I talk to every week has been helping me manage stress and understand things about myself. She doesn't specialize in autism but was recommended to me and she is amazing. I'm blessed to have found her. She did suggest last week that I should join an autism group therapy session. She said I wasn't really ready before, but now she thinks it'd be a good time to delve deep and learn more about what makes me tick. Lol.

I've been doing a bunch of research the last couple months and started interacting on here. It has helped a lot with understanding what has been happening to me. Right after my diagnosis I didn't really know what to do with it. There was too much contradictory information out there. I didn't even know where to start. Thats when I started talking to my now doc. She has helped me be able to explain things and root out causes for some of my actions and seemingly inexplicable reactions to events. After having a sounding board so to speak (my doc), I now have a frame of reference to guide my research. Also, being on here and reading other peoples stories and experiences has helped me find the right path of learning too.

So, yes I was able to explain to my doc, but that was after like 6 months of talking every week before I could really put it into words. And 6 months of homework she would have me do .

It took me two whole years before I managed to ask my regular doctor if I could be assessed for aspergers syndrome because every time I went to ask on many doctors appointments, I kept having mind blank. (They had been keeping an eye on my blood pressure so I had to see them a few times a year anyway).
It was a short Youtube video called "Ask An Autistic" which I had looked up the subject of prosopragnosia where I wasn't going to look at, but over a binge of 3 or 4 days I had watched every single other Youtube video on there about the subject, so I watched, and the lady said aomething like 60% (Could have been 80%) of people who had that condition also are on the autistic spectrum.
The two years before that I happened to be dating a beautiful kind hearted lady who has Aspergers syndrome. She had me take an online test because when I asked her to describe what it was and how it effects her, everything apart from two things she said I thought were normal.

Just before I joined this site I finally asked one of my doctors if I have Aspergers syndrome, and she could not give me a yes or no answer but she put me forward for the autism team to see if they consider me to go on their waiting list, and they did accept me.
So here I am waiting to be assessed.


Ah. Just to add. If you find I write a lot in my posts with me going off on tangents, it is something I do automatically to avoid the mind blank moments which I can get if I try and talk direct and straight to the point. It is just how my mind works and has learned to avoid hitting the mind blank wall if that makes sense?

It is great that you have found someone who understand you. Yes. It is a good idea to join a group because you can get to talk to others who can share their experiences as no one can give better advice then those who are on the spectrum themselves.
Your psyciatrist doctor is very wize and understanding. She is a gem!

Here in the UK it varies from one area of the country to the next, as the areas that have the highest population get the most money spent on them, so their health services can employ far more health professionals to work there. If one lives in a rural area, or a semi rural area like I do, the amount of funding to reach the areas of lower population is significently smaller, and yet their costs are far higher per person because of the larger area they need to cover.

As the populated areas of the country have the lowest waiting lists, it is known (I know of a couple who did this) for people to sell their homes and rent a flat in London or another big city in England so they can have operations far quicker, as the lists for some operations were 10 or more years long.

About a decade ago, the UK government realized that there were issues so it decided to put a new rule in that waiting lists were not to be any longer then two years. The problem with this is that here in Wales, this was an impossible task, so what Wales did to comply with these rules was that any patient who went over the two year wait they simply took them off the list. They did not tell the patients. My Mum waited 8 years to have "Urgent" dental treatment and I waited five years due to this as we kept being thrown off the lists as we passed two year waiting period.

Now as the autism assessment (Or any other mental health) waiting lists are long, about a year or two ago our Welsh assembly government decided to release significent funding into these areas to solve the issues. Understandingly this does take time before improvements will be seen but already my area has made a very large improvement.
So the lengthy waiting list has come right down to a couple of years.
It varies according to where one lives, so if I lived in some parts of London, their waiting lists are said to be only a few months long.

Mountain Goat thanks for the explanation. I've heard this is a big problem with socialized Healthcare. I didn't really put it together, I'm a bit scatter brained lately.
I've heard stories about Canada and how people have died waiting months for emergency procedures. Sorry your mom hasn't been able to get the care she needs. If we lived in one of these places my mom would probably be dead. Not trying to be dramatic or political its just reality. And honestly it terrifies me because the US is trying to do the same thing. Apparently people don't learn from history or others mistakes and think if they're in charge the outcome will be different. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.