How to support a grieving neighbour?

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My elderly neighbour's wife died just before Christmas.
Many years ago, this man also used to be my boss. We have only been neighbours for 18 months.

Today I was outside playing with a cat (not our cat, we don't have one) and the neighbour came out.
He was having trouble locking his door, so being practical me I asked if I could help with the lock.
He said no, no it's OK, I always have trouble with this lock.

Then quite unprompted he launched into how much he missed his wife and started crying.

How is one supposed to react to that?
(I think now that he wasn't really having trouble with the lock, but rather just wanted to talk to me).

I honestly didn't know how to react so I focused on stroking the cat to help me think it through and in the end said "You know, we keep ourselves to ourselves [referring to my husband and me] but if you need us we are just next door."

He said "thank you", talked a bit more and then went off to go about his business.

Was this OK? I feel really bad for him ... but how best can I help support him? He has family who visit regularly, so he is not entirely on his own, but it seems like he is reaching out to me and I really have no clue how to respond...

Practical help I can provide, but emotional support I am rubbish at.

Invite him over for dinner. Maybe even on a regular basis so he can count on interacting with people at least once a week and getting his mind off his loneliness. Play board games. No need to try to discuss his wife and her passing if you're not sure how to do that. If he gets around pretty well and is interested in this type of thing, you could invite him to help you prepare dinner before you eat it.Ask him if he likes a certain kind of movie and invite him over to watch it. Ask if he's considered getting a pet, a dog or cat maybe, if he's up to caring for one. If he does want to talk about his wife (if he brings it up of his own accord), offer to work together with him on making a scrapbook of old photos/letters/etc. It's really nice that he has someone like you who wants to help him in his time of mourning.

I guess just be there should he need to talk.

I am not good with this kind of thing. The last time anything like that happened to a neighbour of mine, he turned up drunk and crying, so I gave him a hug, made him a cup of coffee and let him talk. All was going well until he asked me to sleep with him.

Errr...

I told him it would be best if he went home and slept off the alcohol he had been drinking.

I don't get too involved with my neighbour now but he was much younger than your neighbour so you should be ok.

I'm not good with this stuff either. What do you want me to do about it?

Oh wait, I'm supposed to be giving support right now aren't I? See, I really suck with this too.

All jokes aside, I would just go with the idea about inviting him over for dinner. I never would have thought to do that, so I'm sure it'd work.

Bingo!

Oh man I feel bad for you TS, that is incredible awkward. I understand his pain, but I still am not comfortable with his pain (If I were you that is). Best you can do is just say if he ever needs to talk you are there and then hope to god he doesn't want to ever talk lol.

He's a man, so you should be practical. No man that I know would be receptive to a phrase like "I'm here if you need me", even if it's sincere. An honest "I'm sorry" should do. You should be practical and create the context where, if he feels like it, he could talk about what's going on in his mind. If you happen to like the same sports (any of them), you could invite him over, or a comedy or something relaxing and if he wants to talk, any activity you choose could easily be interrupted. I think dinner is a plan that invites the other one to share an it's possible he doesn't feel at ease to do that. And in that case, you'll have a silent, uncomfortable dinner.

I have to deal with grieving loved ones almost every week at the hospital I work at. A lot of times I'm in the room with them when someone passes away. I think the best thing to do for some one grieving a loved one is to just listen and to remind them to think of the good moments they had with them rather then focusing on their absence. What more can you say?

Like a lot of people here have said, just offering to listen to him is the best thing you can do.

I'm sure he's also inwardly grateful for the time you gave him. Sometimes people just want an ear and a shoulder to cry on then we all feel much better once we've emptied our hearts and can continue the rest of the day.

Personally, I don't feel comfortable having anyone over to my place, so what I would do in this situation is if I cook or bake something, I'd give an extra dish or a serving to my neighbor. Walk it over and if he's there to answer the door, he'll surely appreciate the gesture and if not, then more goodies for you that day.

He might even invite you in to share whatever you brought and this will give you a chance to comfort him simply by listening to him talk about memories of his wide and/or life in general while preserving your homespace at the same time.

Invite him over and listen to him.

Old people always have way better stories than people my own age.

Encourage him to share the happy memories with you.