Absorbing emotions from your environment

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I’m not sure if absorbing is the right word but it’s the only way I can describe it. When I am in an environment of strong emotion, be it good or bad, I seem to be effected by it more than most people.

For example, I was recently employed in a temp job. My role was to do something quite simple and easy. There was hardly any stress or pressure on me at all but the environment as a whole was extremely stressful and pressurised. I seem to absorb that and ended up in anxious mess, even though none of the stress or pressure was placed directly on me.

I also have a family member that has a habit of talking in a very angry tone of voice. I am told ‘it’s just his way but it still affects me. Even if he isn’t talking directly to me the ‘angry environment’, still upsets me.

Not sure I’ve express myself well, but does anyone else ‘absorb’ emotions from the environment around them? And if so, have you found a way to stop yourself doing it? I have enough trouble handling my own emotions without taking on others as well!

Yes, it happens to me too. I am very susceptible to what's going on around me. If people around me are upset, I will feel it too. That's why I really need my surroundings to be peaceful.

This behavior also applies when I watch movies. I emphasize very strongly with the characters and get too involved, to the point of being physically or emotionally distressed. I have trouble watching violence or anything too depressing, because I'll just absorb the bad feelings. I took a film class in college one semester and every movie we watched was a downer. I barely got through that class. It's very difficult to analyze something objectively when you are too busy just reacting to it.

I prefer kid's movies for this reason, as they tend to be lighter. And I love animation... it makes me happy. xD

It happens to all of us, just the degree of intensity is different. It's a normal thing, the environment will always affect our state of mind and I don't know what you could do about it, but I can tell you my trick: music. I listen to music everywhere - at work, on the streets and, of course, at home. I'm quite antisocial myself and most of the time I don't feel the need to talk to the people around me (at work, for example, 'cause they are there 8 hours a day, with me), I prefer doing my job while listening to the music I love. And the stress is considerably diminished than if I choose to listen all the time to my colleagues.

I can relate to this, but it doesn't effect me too much.

Me too! I love Disney films for that very reason.

Very relived to hear its not just me who's like this. Was begining to think I was well ... a bit mad. I thought how can I have a meltdown and yet the people all the stress and pressure is upon be fine.

I would love to but we are not allowed to listen to music at work

Last edited by Jacs on 23 Apr 2011, 11:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

It sounds like you're highly sensitive. Supposedly some individuals are born with a more sensitive nervous system so they are more prone to be over-stimulated to not only sounds but also emotions of others around them:

"born with a tendency to notice more in their environment and deeply reflect on everything before acting...They are also more easily overwhelmed by “high volume” or large quantities of input arriving at once...Mainly, their brains process information more thoroughly. This processing is not just in the brain, however, since highly sensitive people, children or adults, have faster reflexes...are more affected by pain, medications, and stimulants; and have more reactive immune systems and more allergies. In a sense, their entire body is designed to detect and understand more precisely whatever comes in"

http://cogprints.org/5857/1/Environ._Se ... ournal.pdf

A more comprehensive pdf article by the originator of this personality can be found here:

http://www.junginstitute.org/pdf_files/ ... p11-44.pdf

In many ways, I can see many similarities between HSPs and AS with too much sensitivity eventually leading to AS, almost as if the nervous system becomes so overwhelmed with all the information/sensory and emotional input that it kinda "short-circuits" and leads to many of the AS symptoms. Just my opinion, based on my own history. That's why I very much like the "Intense World theory of Autism":

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/article ... -00224.pdf

P.S. Some of the HSP stuff does appear a bit "flaky" (moderm shaman, mysticism, etc.) to me and it kinda turned me off reading it but a lot of it is quite useful.

Last edited by Kon on 23 Apr 2011, 11:39 am, edited 2 times in total.

I am sometimes affected by certain Movies such as Titanic. I did cry at the ending when the ship sank but then I was once fascinated by the titanic disaster for a while. I really should resurrect that hobby one day.

I can be affected by the environment if people are angry and snap at me as I get upset by it, but otherwise I am mostly oblivious as I tend to be lost in my own world the majority of the time.

Yeah, as much as I used to deny not being affected by stuff, I am. The movies I'm most likely to cry during are usually when animals are involved. There's a certain genre of sad animal movie and they usually end with me in tears.

I'm sometimes oblivious to the emotions of people around me. As in, I don't realize someone's upset. But when I do find out, I have trouble letting it go. That's also why I sometimes have trouble listening to people "ranting". I have a strong desire to fix the situation so they aren't upset anymore (and so in turn I won't be so upset). When people rant about an issue that isn't something that can be helped, they feel better, but I feel worse.

I wish I knew a way to be sensitive to what they are going through without absorbing the negativity.

Me too. Couldn't have put it better myself.

I feel bombarded by other people's feelings. Intensely. Sometimes I can't even tell if something is from me or someone else. And I definitely pick up on room-wide tension.

I asked a researcher once about whether parents she talked to had noticed their autistic children picking up on the slightest tension in the home. And most of them said absolutely. But she had discounted it until I asked, because it contradicted what she'd heard about autistic people being unable to read nonverbal cues to understand emotions in others. It scared me that she discounted what was right in front of her, on the basis of a theory. But people do a lot of that. At least she doesn't do that so much anymore. Many autistic people not only pick up on emotions but do so more intensely than most other people.

Simply: Yea

My mom's a narcissist and I won't be able to know myself until I move out. Her presence is so overpowering that I can't think clearly when she's home (which is 24/7).

When someone's hurting or excited (why I love concerts) I feel their emotions too. Though... I can't verbalize this well so it's stuck inside of me... hah it's a cruel trick of nature

I had this conversation with my therapist about a party I attended:

"I found a quiet corner away from everyone else and shut down."
"So you were isolated from everyone?"
"No, I was bombarded."

I don't think I managed to get to explaining what it's like to mirror/echo other people's emotions and how uncomfortable it is. That same night I was in a vehicle with someone who was extremely upset, and all I wanted to do was get away.

Right around the time I started to think I might be autistic again, I was telling people that I am particularly vulnerable to other people's emotions, and I was trying to explain it in various places, and I'm not sure I explained it well. I wish I'd known about the "intense world syndrome" idea at the time, but it was only a couple of months.

Anyway, it wasn't a new thing to me, but a lifelong thing. Being able to explain and describe it was a new thing.

Thanks for the links. Maybe there is a connection between autism linked anxiety and being 'highly sensitive'? The proficiency with which one can handle ones own nervous system may be relative to the extant of autism and the functionality of coping mechanisms/personality, that are innate or acquired. Possibly the definition of HSP can describe an IWA (individual w/autism) dependent on the degree to which one can interact with their environment, the reactions ranging from outwardly aware to 'self' focused? Capability of handling the input gives the 'highly empathic/sensitive' impression because the individual is able to be informed by the data and utilize it rather than be overrun by it. Being overwhelmed by information load leads to withdrawal, processing paralysis and inward collapse, appearing externally as though not engaged but in fact being 'overly engaged'.

This is completely and totally me, all the way. I have a tendency to get very moved by the overall vibes of situations..and yes, when there's a lot of tension in a situation, I am more likely to go into overload or even panic. I have always been described as a sensitive person...which I think is very accurate.

I can totally relate. I take things VERY personally sometimes...often when people sound irritated, that's just how their personality is, but I still feel threatened around them and think that I'm doing something to tick them off. It's unfortunate because many people who I've worked with in jobs I've had have a tendency to sound this way...and I ended up becoming afraid of them.

Exactly! Not only do I not like the 'angry vibes; but, like you, I'm never sure if I done something to deserve it by unknowingly ticking them off.

May be there is someone body lang or somethings I miss? But how do you tell if someone talks to you in an angry tone, if its 'just them' or of you have anoyed them in some way?