Need some Advice
Ok I had a girl friend and about 18 months ago she broke up with me to date another guy. She really hurt me quiet badly. She's now marrying that guy, we go to the same church and i've been friendly to the both of them. After I got past the pain I figured that I should let it go by and accept things as they are. Well earlier this week I got an invite to her wedding. I opened it and felt very very sad and that coupled witht he stress from work led to a mealtdown. I guess I wasn't as over her as I thought but I'd always kept my distance so i never had a huge problems with it. I hate weddings in general; the noise, the feeling of being alone in a crowded room, the drunks and the general depression that comes over me as a result of dealing with it all. I decided to just skip it and send a gift and my best wishes to the couple. I have other things i'd rather do that day anyway.
Problem is my parents were invited and they think I should go I need to be social they say. So what do you think? I could really use some imput on this.
Phonic
Veteran
Joined: 3 Apr 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,329
Location: The graveyard of discarded toy soldiers.
Oh how many episodes of Friends talk about this?
I advise you consider what your relationship is like with the ex at the moment, if you're still close to her then you could go, if you're just friendly and don't really speak often then you definitely shouldn't go, it just isn't worth the heartache and she shouldn't have invited you, she probably thought she was being nice but I think it was insensetive, your parents shouldn't go if you don't go, that would be weird.
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'not only has he hacked his intellect away from his feelings, but he has smashed his feelings and his capacity for judgment into smithereens'.
I think that in this instance, you have a perfect right to do what makes you feel ok, and not what your parents feel is the 'proper' thing to do. From what you say, it appears that your ex-girlfriend feels that you are over your relationship with her - and has politely invited you and your parents to attend her wedding. If attending would cause you distress then I would urge you to try to explain this to your parents. If you dislike social occasions generally, your parents may well be just trying their best to encourage you to 'get out there and join in'. If they don't know how you feel then it is likely that they will continue to press you to go to the wedding.
If it is difficult to say what you feel, it might be helpful to write down what you wrote here and show your parents.
I hope this doesn't sound patronising, because it really isn't meant to
LuxoJr
Deinonychus
Joined: 2 Dec 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 391
Location: a dance party on the moon
If you don't want to go, then you don't have to go. It's good to take your parents' advice to try and be more social, but not if it will make you so unhappy. Plus, I think the more you see your ex the longer it will take for you to absolutely forget. If you don't go, then do something else more productive like you said.
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