AS discovered as adult anyone?

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Is there anyone here who like me only discovered they were AS as an adult? - for me it was 40.

Wondered how you dealt with it? How long did it take to come to terms with - or indeed have you?

If/when you told anyone were they surprised?

Has the discovery changed your life? Would you rather not have known?

Anything you would like to share about AS discovery as an adult I would like to hear and discuss.

All the best to all,

Hayes

I'm 41, and was diagnosed a few weeks ago. I had been investigating several months before that. I first found out three years ago but had a lot of denial and "no idea what to do about it" going on then.

I am dealing with it pretty well. I came to terms with it fairly quickly once I decided to look into it again. I did not deal well the first time it came up.

Some were surprised. Many - including my mother - said it made sense. Some tried to convince me it was probably not the case.

I would rather have known sooner. It has changed my life, but in ways I'm not even sure I can fully explain. It's more like a better understanding of everything.

My investigations and realization came close together - wonder if those three years on the backburner for you were beneficial as far as 'getting your head round it' goes?

My wife is the only one I've talked to about it - I was VERY surprised when she took it quite calmly and said - like your mother - it made sense.

Your last sentence resonates with me greatly. Things have changed, but in a way that is very hard to define in words. I wonder if perhaps trying to define this more would help?

I agree as well that it is a better understanding - but I find that it is also an understanding subtly shifted from the one I had, which I still find disconcerting. In part because I realize my personality has been defined by a force other than I had realized existed...if that makes sense.

Thank you for your reply.

May I also ask why you decided on formal diagnosis? And do you feel there are benefits to you from this?

Hayes

Yes. I also had just started something that, if I got into autism like I have these past six months, would have probably been derailed rather thoroughly. Since I'm rather proud of it, I don't regret it.

Plus, yes, those three years were definitely beneficial. When ADHD came up last summer, I found it fairly easy to accept and had already gone through a lot of the emotional rollercoaster that would have come with it otherwise. No point in repeating it.



I'm not sure I understand.



Yes, it does. A lot of my outward behavior/personality was me trying to present a "front" to interact with other people, and it wasn't really so much me. I've been finding things I took for granted aren't exactly true, and things that I rarely suspected turned out to be true.



After spending two decades trying and failing to make significant progress in a career or education, I'm applying for SSI. I need to have diagnoses to explain my symptoms and impairments.

Late 40's for me, my life is easier now.

I'm thinking that if I thought through more thoroughly (far too much alliteration there...) what has changed and why, I might be more settled in my mind about it - not to mention better informed and self-aware.





Again something that has largely been the case with me also. I think my 'front' was a building up of behavior that I had gradually learned was more normal in company. More usually expected I mean - the knowledge of which made me adapt my demeanor/actions among others. How much of this has now become 'me' is something that concerns me.

It seems notionally incredible that I can get to 40 and have to start wondering 'who am I'...darkly amusing as well but that could just be me.

Hayes

How has the realization made it easier FTM?

I only ever heard of this condition a few years ago. Ifirst stumbled upon it online and read up on it on Wikipedia and other sites. It is a rare form of Autism and I may or may not have this condition.

Anyway you sign up onto wrongplanet and you are part of aspie world where aspies can freely talk about anything without persecution or harassment from non-Aspies.

Approximately age 21, although I'd had suspicions for years that something very like autism could describe me.

I was in my mid-20s when I was diagnosed.

I was 45 when I was diagnosed and its easier now that I know why I am the way I am but trying to get any kind of help as an adult is next to impossible unless you are independently wealthy.

Me too. I didn't even seek diagnosis, I just had other issues and Asperger's was in a long laundry list of things wrong with me. AS was one of the things which made sense for me. It does help me because it broke my isolation. I was no longer the only martian on earth, there were others like me. That was very helpful for me.

I'd never heard of AS until I was nearly 26. After taking a number of diagnostics, thinking about my life in this context, and the verification I received from people I knew, I was certain that I had it. Life has only confirmed these ideas for me since. I'll be going for a formal diagnosis sometime this summer.

Having this understanding of myself has helped somewhat in terms of knowing my limitations and my strengths. Before, I had a lot of issues with getting into situations I was unable to handle, failing at them, and then feeling awful about myself. Jobs, relationships, interactions with people, etc. I've tried to keep my life more balanced and organized so that I had a greater chance of success with these things.

I was 52 when self-diagnosis clicked into place for me. By 57, I'd nailed down an official diagnosis.

At the beginning, aspergers provided an explanatory framework for all sorts of things that had been bothering me - this was on the back of ten years or so of personal development training, a desperately expired marriage, a few more years of intensive personal and leadership work and then an MBA. I'd been nearly everywhere else.

I realised that because I think I'm right it doesn't mean I am right. I can explain to people I'm not being awkward, I just don't want to do something. I don't have to pretend to understand everyone around me. Knowing why I'm scared of certain situations instead of just being scared. Knowing I'm not alone.