Okay to be boring?

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Right now, and what I haven't been doing for years, is going out and experiencing the world like all the other teenagers. Sure I have done a few things, like stupidly getting smashed on alcohol (which I regret), and going to one boring event which you could consider a party.

But I really would prefer to be alone at home playing my video games and maybe reading books. Is it absolutely vital to have experience in the world at this age? I'm just wondering, if I'm supposedly missing a lot. I hope not.

I did the party thing, and now i'm doing the staying in thing.
The staying in thing is much better, to me personally.

I think it's okay to be boring.

A NT person would be missing a lot. NT likes parties and socializing. You can't miss something you don't like. I used to think the same when I was younger, so I tried to be like everyone else. But I was unhappy because the world I thought I was missing didn't exist and I was betraying my real self. But I think is good anyway to have experiences of what NTs do, but you don't have to force yourself.

Boredom is in the eye of the beholder. F*ck 'em if they find boring stuff that fascinates you.

Everyone misses out on every possible branch of life they did not take. This is no excuse not to optimize one's own pursuit of the interesting.

One caveat, though: too often people think they have to compromise between what others find interesting, and what they find interesting, without ever realizing that it's fully possible to share one's ostensibly boring interests with others.

If you want to go out drinking and attending parties, there's no reason why you can't be doing it with people just as "boring" as you are.

As long as you are not bored then what difference does it make?

You should get out and try new things, but it's ok not to like them. You may be wise beyond your years for realizing what you like and don't like.

It took me a while to find that I didn't get the same high from partying most people did. Just thought it was something I should be doing since that's expected at the age I was.

Give activities another chance though. Retry stuff with different people, at different times, in different places, etc... You might find a combination you like.

It's fine. The only way to waste your life is doing something you don't want to do that won't result in anything you want.

Boring is subjective. You're not boring if the video games and books are not boring to you. When I was 17 I was also frustrated by others' lack of interest in some of the things I like, such as video games. There were no video games in my great grandparents' time, and games available today would make them crap their pants.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DrIuywmRRI[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywYgVDbA0Co[/youtube]

I guess when a new advance comes out, it quickly becomes a blase thing. Air travel is one example, nowadays people can only think about complaining about the food they serve.

I'm going to go against the flow here.

Whether you should go to parties depends a bit on how severely you are impacted by your AS traits. If you anticipate living a mostly "normal" life - having (something approaching) a career, having your own home, etc. - you NEED to go to parties, and learn how to mingle, and how to do cocktail conversation, and all that crap. Even if it's the least fun activity you can think of.

You should go because it is training you how to be an adult.

At 17, most people go to parties because they are fun. Since they aren't fun for you, you don't go, which seems to make perfect sense. After all, why do something you don't like?

At some point, though, parties stop being about "fun" - even though most people do still enjoy them - and begin being about "networking" and maintaining an image. They are work, and they are important.

The same is true about hanging out with "friends," especially if they either are in the same field you are, or if they use the service/product your field provides. It's all about self-promotion.

As I said, your future prospects can affect how important this self-promotion is to you. If your skills put you in the top 0.1% in your field, you don't need to worry about it much. If your aspie/other symptoms make it unlikely that you will ever advance beyond entry level work, you don't need to worry about it, either. Unless you fall into one of those extremes, however, it is critical.

Is there something that says that if you go out, you have to drink? (Or, for that matter, if you stay home, you can't?) I go out most nights (do not like going home to my apartment directly after work), and I haven't had a drink in 3 1/2 years.

To your questions... It's probably not "vital" to experience the world at any age. But, yes, you'll be missing a lot if you never leave your bedroom.

There's a stigma associated with being alone and not wanting to socialize. Forget about the stigma, and do what you want to do. You're not going to be happier by indiscriminately forcing youself to socialize. If you have a special interest, find a group that fits what you want to do. Even if they're all NTs, you'll still feel like you belong somewhere, and you can still go home and be by yourself without feeling like you're defective.

I sort of learned not to bother with social stigmas. If I want to shut myself in my room and read, then that's what I'm going to do.

Thanks peoples

What I didn't add was, I don't know how to make friends anymore anyway so I have no choice about going to parties because they don't exist in the first place. But, my friend who's party I went to has since moved on with new friends, and to drugs, which I predicted would happen. Thus I am left behind in my own little world. Oh well...