Does anyone else feel unfit to have a child?

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Hey guys, I am a 22 year old un-diagnosed but suspected AS (I have every symptom since being a child besides clumsiness, I really don't see how I cannot have it and am going to get a psych referral today). Anyway, I have been with the same wonderful girl for 4 years who completely understands me and supports my needs and helps me through things I find difficult to do and socializing with her friends (she understands when I want to stay home etc). Well she is 24 and I am 22 and she always tells me how one day she is going to want kids, but I really don't feel like I am fit to have a child one day. I know I am young still and people say "oh well, you will change your mind when you get older", but I really don't think that is possible. I cannot hold a child, i've been asked numerous times to hold a child and it makes me so uncomfortable that I feel like vomiting, my posture gets weird, my grip gets weird and I just want to put it down I really hate it. I also find the thought of birth disgusting, what I mean by that is just the thought that this creature was created and then born seems very animalistic and makes me uncomfortable, especially looking at a new born I find it repulsive. Not to mention I believe having a kid is like giving up on your own life, it's like oh my times up time to spit one out and give them all the attention. I don't know where I am going with this, but does anyone else feel the same? I know one day my girlfriend or future girlfriend will want a child and I really don't think I am capable of it.

Feel? Feelings don't come into it; I know I couldn't handle children. It was actually a major factor in breaking up my last relationship: he wants them, I don't.

Deffo, I'd probably leave it somewhere and forget where I'd put it.

I feel unfit to have a child, but for a different reason. I feel a lot more male than I do female. A child needs a feminine mother and a masculine father. A child doesn't need two fathers. I could just imagine what that child and their friends would be saying about me if they really get to know about music, due to my masculinity. "My dad's name is Jeff and I have Mick Avory for a mum." I feel like I'm the wrong gender and I'm too set in my ways to be a fit mother.

My mother has a recurring dream where she has a baby and then realises that she hasn't seen it for a few days.

I loathe when people say this. Do they not understand how offensive it is?

I know I would be unfit to raise a child as well. I can't stand the noise they make. It always sends me in the direction of a meltdown, whether it's crying, fussing, babbling, screaming, yelling. I don't mind kids if they're quiet, but if you have one yourself, it's not going to be quiet all the time. I can see myself ending up as one of those baby shakers, and I would not wish that on a kid.

I don't really know. On the one hand I am very motherly and caring and adore children. On the other hand, I would have major issues with the noise element of screaming babies and also the round-the-clock care that they would require. I find it incredibly draining to be with somebody constantly. I need my "me" time. Once you have a baby, you can basically forget about "me" time. So I guess I don't really know.

Oh, that would be a mess. It would scream, I would melt and bite and hit and punch myself, I wouldn't know what it wanted... ugh. I do like babies and like to watch them in the presence of other adults who can help me, but NOT by myself.

I know that I want to avoid biological kids for multiple reasons I don't feel like getting into now. Although I would be open to adoption/fostering if put in the right situation (and in the alternative universe where I would have a partner).

Sometimes when you have to look out for someone you look out for yourself better too. Looking at the way I am normally it would be logical to say I shouldn't have kids. Looking at the way I am when someone I care about is depending on me gives me pause though.

I couldn't even fathom being responsible for a child. I will stick with my cats.

I don't feel qualified to be a father, and I don't want to be one anyway. I had no father in the picture, and I just don't have the experience and patience to be a good father. Luckily, my wife isn't interested in being a mother either. We like being big kids, and not having the responsibility of parenthood. 6 dogs, 2 horse, 30-something cats, and two businesses to run, is PLENTY to be responsible for! Diapers, bottles, screaming, crying, mucus & germs; then school and homework enforcement, then dating and driving lessons, then college costs and never-to-be-repaid loans for the kids to buy their own houses... NOT for us.

Charles

I know I wouldn't be able to raise a child. I have too many mental and maturity issues of my own to deal with in order to properly raise a child. As far as changing my mind as I get older goes, that's a remote possibility, but I doubt it.

I also feel unfit to be a father. Besides the fact that my girlfriend is epileptic and I am autistic (both of which might be genetic), I can't imagine succeeding when responsible for another life that's completely dependent upon me. Also, I tend to get very upset when my sleep is interrupted by my dog making small noises. I can only imagine how angry I'd get at a baby doing the same thing all night long. At least I can put the dog out of the room when I've had enough.

You know, this may be a sign, Moog. Most people don't refer to a child as an "it" ... LOL!! !

My girlfriend and I both have alcoholic and autistic genes just waiting to be passed on. I'm not sure we'd do that to a little one. And then there's the responsibility aspect: whether or not we could handle it, neither one of us want it. Decision made.

I'd like to have a child but wouldn't be able to handle the overwhelming amount of dealings with people that would occur in the child's life beyond toddler age.