So far a amazing year.

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I started January 2004 wanting drastic change in
my life. I was at the hostel on 70 Derby Street
in San Francisco. I was under abusive conditions
within it's walls caused by Shamsyer Byuai.

I would not have a G3 yet and dreamed of going
online with personal freedom that could only be
done wireless. I was completely fascinated by
this independence denied me.

I wanted a place to call home. I didn't have a job
and always in constant daily battle to keep housed
caused by weekly threats of being given the 3 day
notice and since I wasn't working at Quizno's yet, I
had to accept this abuse. I was self-abusive to my
physical form due to fraustrations of not being at
peace.

March 2004, I rediscovered the Flea Market. I
used what little cash i had to create computer
skills not used in a long time, and part took of the
flea markets in San Francisco. I would often adopt
unloved creatures called Macs that represented my
starvation and impoverishment that was called
neglect. Every time I visited my Grandmother,
she would comment on how thin I was! unhealthy
thin in this case.

By August 2004, I started Quizno's as a ace up my
sleeve and a job so that I was properly feed, but not
properly housed. My computer exploration continued
with 68x030's to PPC 601 processors.

January 2005, I got my first fleamarket G3PB
for $200. and a wifi card. later on 2 more.
1 for parts, and the other for Burning CD's.

March, 2005 John, franchise owner of the Quizno's took
particular interest in my behaviours and was doing silent
homework. He later suggested Autism. I looked it up
and compared some of his notes to books I read.

I would figgit as usual, unaware of why.
I would repeat things, unaware of why.
I would get extremely reactive, unaware of why.
I would get nervous around the register, unaware of why.
I couldn't grasp changes in menu routines, unaware of why.
ect....!

I then looked up websites for Aspergers. I found a
wealth of material, and sites. The material gave good
insights, but the sites didn't help me purge my fires that
made me angry and needing release.

I then discovered WrongPlanet on 3/20/05'. I first was
allowed to tap these fires through expressive and fiery
poetry and bleeding writings. As I progressed I
made much progress in tapping my creative writting
style denied me by NT's, and swore never to lose that
intouch feeling again.

June 2005, I embarked on a self-changing journey to
find a home I can be at peace at, school to go to,
and a family that could accept me as I am. I found
BeeBee has open her heart to me, and I say thankyou
sooo very much. I visited the other members on the
board and wanted so desparately to understand my
differences from others.

Some folks were awe inspiring, others broke myths
and have created separation for my well being.
I am sad to say this but is it true.

The majority inspired me, and as I said before, I will
not submit to others wills, but learn to accept them as
they are, so long as I don't lose my idenity to them.
I have suffered so much to be a play toy and that is
why I am so fiesty.

It is now going on September, and saddness in my heart
lingers. Those who broke my heart, thinking I can trust
them still linger as reminders of roleplayers, and
Science fiction folk who ignored me with silence, and
then choose folks who can do what I do over me
because it wasn't a good fit. I am no longer a
competer. I want to be me and my expression to
be free, not riddled by others desires to control me.
That is why I am sad.

WrongPlanet stopped being a place of healing, but
instead a place of role playing politics, and sci-fi
goers politics in the guise of Aspergers. I am not
discounting aspergers, but the politics.

I will continue to be, and give so long as I am
able to express freely to whomever will allows
it. Once the contolling of me sets in, I do not go
there and it saddens me that I must be censored
for others. I take pride in what I write. If I cannot
I am wastiing my time.

Hate me not, like me not, this is a friendly expression
of my heart. Stabbed by wolves I have been and
that is a shame. I miss the old wrong planet.

But as time moves on, so perhaps the wolves, and
the individuals I must encounter.

sniff


Take this writing as it will, because I am no longer
angry and if I have to let go of those pains in my
expressive heart, then that is what it is.

If wounds can heal, I am not censored in my
full exhuberance, then I am much more at peace.
I don't want to find a new emotional home, but....
let's not hope we go there.....

Sniff, Sniff....Censor members of wrong planet
not, for they as I are individuals who choose to
read posts, create posts, and are not children
of a lesser creation, so don't treat me or them
like it...re:those who want to sensor.

Sniff!

I hope you stay around and write more good stuff Ghosty.

<hands Ghosthunter a tissue>

I plan to so long as I am able to properly express, and
not be sensored. I have put alot of myself here, and I
feel insulted to be reduced to playing politics. I just want
to be at peace and express and write what my giving heart,
expressive heart and chaotic heart feels so I am well balanced.

Thanks Tom, I may have never met you in person,
but you have been a inspiration to me. and let not
this censorship ruin our hearts and creative minds.
You and the others who have unique personalities
are special to me. It is how you naturally convey that
inspire me, not scripts approved by others and unnatural
to the individual.

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

Hoooonnnnkkkk! sniff-achoo! honnkkn! And hi postperson.
I am not sure where you stand on censorship and approved
scripts to post, but regardless...it is nice to now that you are
here.

I do miss the old wrong planet.

And how is it going with you?

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

What censorship? I hate censorship........

But you seem to be associating Asperger's with what's causing you problems, because you're labelled HFA. This seems to be an issue with you, but I don't think your analysis of the situation, in that respect, is accurate.

The world is a ever-shifting mirage that is never what it seems, and changes before our very eyes. . .

What is past, is past, and though you may enjoy the reflection, the present and future awaits. . . . .

All things are buffeted by time, even friendships and communities, and yes, even WP. . . . .

I must implore, cherish what we do have and enjoy. For, it too, will past into dust and nothingness one day, not a tradegy but a triumph for it having ever exsisted. . . . .

But it's ghost will remain to haunt your memories. . . . . .

I don't know why, but this is what comes to mind when I read your post.

Quite beautifully said, Prometheus. Your poetry is quite lovely.

I am not discounting aspergers from?????

It is about infighting and control of others writing politics.
It has nothing to do with aspergers, autism, or ....

I am not labeling, I write as I think, and express as I write.
I am not a script. So If I confused politics with aspergers
then I am sorry my writing confused you. It is about politics
that is happening in the censorship process that is occuring
on Wrongplanet.

Sorry my writing of politics confused you!
Ghosthunter

and I too hate censorship, and that is why I wrote this
background writing. I am a creature of thought and
feeling. I write as I think, and if asked to write a scripted
verse, I don't write at all.

Censorship on WrongPlanet doesn't help anyones
healing process, because healing processess don't
have pre-scripted by other words.

How are you Berta?

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

Well said. I am glad you read my background data.
The future is now and the past is thoughts of and
things concluded to looked upon in future outlooks.

Bless be you insight, Prometheus

How is your dad and you, and your family?
I hope your dad and you enjoyed those comics
I gave you?
I am doing good! How are you doing lately?
I enjoyed my stay there at beautiful bedford.
I hope you guys enjoyed my company when
I visited you folks at Bedford? I am not
perfect....

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

I see (I think). I was assuming that you were implying the politics were a result of people having AS instead of HFA.

Anyway, I'm not one for censorship generally, but recognise there sometimes have to be boundaries within which our communications are contained.

Thanks for understanding the misinterpretation.

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

My dad has just started working in the hospital again and seems to be enjoying it. He says the hours are weird (and ever shifting!) but he is of the sort that genuiely enjoys helping people. He does not seem stressed out and seems sastisfied.

My mother and I work the same hours now that I work 2nd shift, and our relationship is improving (nothing bad had happened, it was just that we never saw each other once she started second shift) and we are enjoying each others company.

My brother is graduating basic training soon and may be coming home soon. . . . .things have always been strained between the two of us, but have been improving also of late.





I don't know if my dad has read any of them, but he does appreciate the thought of the "Tom and Jerry" team!

I like the loony toons one. That one is more to my taste of humor.



These are probably the best days of my life, and I feel as such. I am out of HS, in a job that (although not perfect) I enjoy and my stregths are maximized and weakness minimized. I get precisely the sort of social interaction I desire from my friend (the pastor guy we went to the muesuem with!) and generally I am sastified with how things are working for me.



I know I did enjoy your company. The pastor says you are quite the thinker and he likes people that think. I sometimes talk to him about you, about what you are doing now and discuss that.

A perfect being, like a sphere, has no salient features. Humanity is not marked by perfection but by imperfections; to err is human. You, far from perfect, is far more interesting and insightful than the "perfect" man.

Sincerely,

Nathan