Feeling lost without an obsession?

Post Reply New Topic

So before now I've never met anyone else with AS, and it's just occurred to me that maybe this isn't just me.

I go through phases of having the same obsession for years, then it changes really rapidly and flits about (like, having a different obsession every few weeks for a few months) before settling on something else. I have a 'transition period', maybe for a few weeks or so, where I don't have an obsession at all, and I just feel down, weary, lost and purposeless.

Does anyone else go through this???
Think that might be happening at the moment and it's just blargh...

Yeah I've had this. It is like a void in between obsessions where you just feel empty... I have been like this for about half a year, but now I've rekindled an old obsession with animals, so I am back reading every single book I can read about rabbits, guinea pigs, gerbils, rats, mice, hamsters, degus and spiny mice!

_________________
I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

My obsessions wax and wane, and it is quite depressing when it fades.
In the latest instance, I'm not sure which came first though - the depression or the lack of interest.

I'm currently in this stage right now. I am interested in a vast variety of intellectual subjects, but there isn't one that can classify as a full-blown obsession. I've only had one huge obsession (though my fascination with the Beatles was partially a way to try to mimic that obsession), which was the Presidents of the U.S., specifically JFK. I now find it odd that I was completely obsessed with JFK and that time period, then I consciously chose, once the obsession began to fade, to become interested in the Beatles. Why? After JFK was assassinated, the nation was clearly distraught... then in February of 1964, several months later, here came the Beatles, who distracted the younger populations from such a confusing time. Ah...

I might have something like that. When I lose a big obsession, it feels like I lost something huge - like how I've stopped being obsessed with dogs/wild dogs/ wolves after middle school (I'd been obsessed since 8 yrs old) as well as nature. Now I flit from obsession to obsession, which is exhausting. But when I transition from obsessions to no obsessions I can also feel extremely bored (which for me is something I can often feel, as well as being one of the worst frustrating feelings I can have), frequently empty too. I'll try to find something to fill the emptiness. I also have themes - like I won't consistently be obsessed with video games, autism politics, but I'll keep coming back to it even though it's overwhelming and exhausting.

I'm very familiar with this, I go through phases of obssessions. When I have a special interest it is all I can think about and it consumes me, when I'm without an obssession it's kind of like being in a hazy dream, I just feel lost and not really attached to anything. Like right now, two shows I loved got cancelled and they were well on the way to becoming a major obsession.

I am familiar with this and it's very confusing.

My current obsession (Tim Burton's movies) waxes and wanes. Whenever I go through a "down" time when I don't feel passionate about it, I become very sad, sometimes to the point of tears. Without something to obsess over, I feel empty and bored inside. I need things to obsess over in order to stimulate my imagination, which is my escape from reality. If I can't escape from reality, then I feel trapped inside of it, and for me personally, there is nothing that makes me sadder than being trapped in reality.

I can relate. I am exactly the same way.

When I don't have any obsessions I tend to feel "lost", and I turn to gaming (unless I find a new obsession, or carry out with an old one) to fill the void).

I am currently experiencing this, but I have a feeling that GNU/Linux combined with the phenomenon lucid dreaming will soon be my "new" obsessions. I was obsessed with GNU/Linux for like 4-5 months, and lucid dreaming likewise last time so I'll see how long that'll last.

Never been without one. Many minor interests come and go, but my constant need for music and reading have never waned.

Yes. I hate it. Makes me feel down.

I've been trying to use those periods to influence my next obsession. Basically, if I decide I want my next special interest to be cooking, I read comics with cooking in them, watch TV shows where the characters cook, watch episodes of Good Eats, etc.

I've managed to have some mild success with it, but it's not totally successful. Usually, I just end up with a hobby, rather than a special interest.

I do find periods during which I'm not really interested in things to be frustrating and somewhat depressing. Another thing I run into is I get into an interest and I have no real way to do much with it other than research on the internet (which is informative, but less satisfying than, say, buying the books and watching the documentaries, etc).

My primary interest is gaming - usually specific games or specific publishers. It's kind of strange to me that my interests tend to be fairly popular as when I first got into these kinds of games, they were a very very niche hobby. The way games work has shifted too, which tends to leave me adrift more often and I go back to the older paper games I like versus the newer video games.

I think I'm kind of drifting now, mainly because I can only really engage in my secondary interests and can't pursue my primary interest. It feels kind of like anhedonia, which makes me wonder if there is actual depression on the way, but I'll find out tomorrow when I can again pursue my primary interest properly - by which I mean not just playing the games, but researching the background, numbers, etc. Mostly I'm waiting for new games to come out, so anything I do is research more than playing anything. If I'm really interested in a game, I probably spend about 75%+ of my time modding it, researching it, talking about it, etc. and relatively little actually playing it.

It also doesn't help that video games are overloading, and if I play one for very long a shutdown is virtually guaranteed. Doesn't stop me, but it does slow things down. I still play them because unlike those old paper games, I don't generally need other players to enjoy video games.

I'm kinda going through this sort of thing myself at the moment. During these transitional times I find myself having all sorts of little mini-obsessions that can last only a few weeks, which often ends up with a lot of 'loose ends' and unfinished business. Hopefully I'll find a focal point soon though, I feel like I'm wasting so much.

_________________
THINGS I LIKE
Parasaurolophus, Plesiosaurs, Dinosaurs, Pterosaurs, Music, Tuna, Chocolate milk, Oreos, Blue things

Parasaurolophuscolobus. Parasaurcolobus. Colobusaurolophus.
....And Nunchucks are my friends.

My obsessions always made me feel good. I've always liked to build things or make old things new or different. Even though these things always made me happy while working on them, I felt like I was wasting my life. Is there something better to do with my time?

Now I'm doing nothing, I feel nothing. My head is full of ideas but they seem pointless. But now I think the world is pointless anyway, so I hope I can really feel good about an interest again soon. Just to toil away until I melt into the ground.