Acceptance

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I have a hard time accepting my AS. I have been living as if I have it ever since I found out about it at age 20. However, I have never gotten an official diagnosis. The closest I have come is my current therapist who said informally when I mentioned it, "You might have a mild case of it," and has worked social skills into my therapy.

I feel like I am doomed to a life alone--no wife, no kids, no close friends to hang out with--because I have AS. I fear that I will never move out on my own. I've always had social difficulties, but I have ignored the AS, figuring that it doesn't matter if I have it. You can't change it. Learn to do the social stuff. Make the best of your situation. That has worked somewhat, but not enough to make me happy. I still get jealous of other people who find it easy to interact with others and form friendships. I get jealous of people who are in romantic relationships. I feel it is unfair that I have to scrutinize every social interaction so that I don't make a mistake or offend anyone.

I don't ever tell anyone about AS because I don't want to be looked at as inferior or like I'm making excuses for my social mishaps. However, I sort of expect everyone to understand me and be accepting. Just recently have I started to focus on the AS piece of my personality again, and it is putting a lot of stuff into perspective. I just don't know what my limitations are as a result of AS. What is me and what is the disorder? What can be changed and what can't be changed? I hate always trying to figure out if I'm doing the right thing. I hate having to consult with more socially conscious friends about my actions to make sure I don't make a social blunder, then making social blunder anyway and not knowing what I did wrong.

On top of AS, I have addiction, depression, race, sexuality, abuse, growing up with two mentally ill parents that I deal with. It seems like too much. It seems unfair.

I know I am just whining. I am just writing to express how I feel, not get any sympathy, but I hope someone can relate. Better yet, has anyone felt like this and found acceptance of their diagnosis? If so, how did you come to accept the fact that you have AS and all the limitations that come with it? I have AS. I would like a formal diagnosis to get rid of the denial I sometimes have, but I digress. I have AS. There is no changing that. I want to accept my condition because that is the only way that I can be happy.

Why always so focused on the diagnose? You read your diagnose, you get told where are your problems and you only see limitations. If you only have them in your mind you won't get over them, you won't develop yourself. Why accept limitations?
I'm 36 years old, married and I have a son. I was always different and no one knew why. My childhood were a lot of bullying, abuse and I was deprived emotionally by my parents. Sure it's unfair but everyone comes with baggage and we are lucky if we find someone who helps us to unpack. I know only since a few weeks that I'm on the autistic spectrum, I went through my life without knowing, without any support. It should show you: yes we can!
Your Asperger doesn't define your personality. It shows you handicaps, but life gives us the possibility to grow. It's how you look on it, if you see everything in the negative way how should you ever get the courage to get over your way of thinking?
People think their happiness is defined by finding a romantical love. But love in general is a great thing and it's to find in many things. Friendships, animals, volunteering, helping others...
People who are interested will try to understand you, they will put effort in you. If we don't tell who we are where should they know how to interpret our weird behaviour sometimes especially concerning communication and social skills.
I don't know why but I'm not that much affected, things were more in my childhood and during my adolescence. Don't give up but sure we need to put some effort in ourselves as well. Understanding by others wouldn't help us to get over our fears and our problems.
Start believing and trying, many things in life are only a point of view. Change it, see it from the positive side. There are strengths in you as well due to your Aspergers and it's personality what counts. Real people will recognise it, fake people will laugh about you but who cares. You are not dependent on them.
Stop saying you can't change it. It defines where you have weaknesses but not who you are; your background defines who you are now and where you've been through but not where you will go.
Many people here can relate to you, but it's your life. Stop ignoring your AS and face it. Knowing people have similar problems may give you the feeling of not being alone but it won't cheer you up and it won't end your depression.