Ellytoad wrote:
I keep trying to tell myself that all people are no more special than anyone else, and that there are so many things for me to be thankful for. A loving home, blah blah blah. But lately I've been wanting someone else's life. To literally be her, personality and all. She is my age and well into her career, while I'm still my usual defective, unemployed self, and I'd bet a lot that she is exactly what my mom wanted me to be. If she and I switched minds, my mom wouldn't want mine back.
I just know this other girl is everything I'm not, and all the better for it too. It also doesn't help that she has both of her parents (even though it's not like I'm not in good company in having an absentee father). Just another way for me to think she has the perfect life.
Has anyone else felt this way?
Constantly, as I am also defective & broken & can't seem to fix it or get a DX which might actually be of help. My body/brain get in the way of life. It's either be someone else or not exist what-so-ever. My life sucks & I wouldn't wish is on anyone.
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If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.
Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive