I don't like to be an aspie

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Sorry people, you are really all nice, i'm like at home here, 1 month here, near 3 weeks diagnosed with asperger, but i have suffered lot of, i'm 39 years old, it is to late for me socialize. I have read here proud aspie, even those kind aspie who think aspie are superior, i would like my iq even be lower, but to be nt and lived my life, now. I said my husband that i feel sorry, that i didn't know, i asked him for divorce, our two sons are here and i can't change it, my sons are great, but...feel really sorry for my husband, he had chance married nt women and have nt children.

You are going through what many recently diagnosed adults do. It is a significant shift in your self perception and it causes a great deal of soul searching. It helps when you get to a place where liking or disliking Asperger's is irrelevant. Your thinking is more about adaptation and adjustment.

Its never late to socialize. There are people out there who accept you as you are even when it seems to be impossible to find them. I had a time when i was thinking i am a freak and will never socialize. I have found some people who are sort of broken and different like me, one of them has aspergers, we accept ourselves and get along.
I once thought similar that i'd like to have a lower iq and be an NT. Also i am definitely not superior bcause most of the time i look like a r3tard, but i have made myself to not care about this, sometimes i do, but i force my thoughts not to. Perhaps people are scared to approach me because some have seen that my mind is not r3tarded but i still look from the outside like i am.

Never give up, mate!

The only real problem for me is other people. I'm a very successful person otherwise

I'm nearly 1 year into knowing of my AS, I'm 48 years old. The many mood swings and emotions your going through will lessen with time.

I'm different from you in that I dont have a spouse or children.

And I like myself with AS, and DO NOT WANT TO BE NT

Its not that bad really, and accepting who you are, and not wanting to be something your not, is important for your self esteem.

Yes, were some people in my life who tough can easy make joke with me or use me, one women even liked use me for witness promising me job and in conversation she said you invalids, (she wasn't right in process). They were scared when i beck them, most of them run or avoid when see me.

I'm 38 and to put it simply, I envy you for your marriage and kids. This mere fact says to you, you aren't an undesirable person. In fact, you must be proud of what you've achieved in your life up to the time being. The others above are right, every adult gets worried after realizing they have some mental disorder, I'm no exception. You have to accept yourself, stay with your family and help each other in the most positive sense, learn to accept yourself, adjust your way of thinking to this new knowledge about yourself, to be (and remain) positive.

Don't be envy me, I'm married becuase i have learned to behave nt, exely that was spontaneous, when we like person, we try attract him, i really didn't think make something bad, i didn't know for asperger syndrome, tough I'm just shy person who must learn interact with people. Now.. my husband is tired with me and i'm tired, without job and without friends, i wish knew that I'm aspie and never married, poor my husband.

Its possible to improve with effort. Exercise and diet go a long way and who knows what your husband is tired of?

Maybe a fit and healthy and sexy aspie wife and he wouldnt be so tired? Neither would you, and maybe the reverse would occur and you would have the advantage of being more desirable?

I'd way rather be a sexy aspie than a fat NT.

If you managed to improve your body with food and exercise you aspergian symptoms would very very likely improve too.

Nikoa

I really feel for you. I am undiagnosed but have realise I was AS eight month's ago. I am still comming to terms with this. I have also been feeling very guilty about how I have made my wife feel throughout our 24 years of marriage. I have always loved her and always strived to be a good husband. The good husband that I was trying to be was, apparently, not the good husband my wife needed or wanted.

I cannot turn back the clock but now that I realise I am AS I can now understand my issues better and hope that I can rebuild my relationship with my wife. My wife has not reacted well to my AS and is not so understanding at the moment because she knows that I will always be AS. She is still with me so there is hope.

I can tell from your words that you love your husband dearly. Even if times are tough now, you are still the person that he fell in love with. It will take effort from both of you to make things change between you. With your new found knowledge, I sincerely hope that you can turn things around.

I agree with skonamis that it is never too late to socialize. It is difficult for us AS people but not impossible.

i'm about the same age as you and also recently diagnosed 2 months ago. it sucks.

don't divorce your husband or do anything dramatic yet. give it at least 12 months for everything to sink in. then you can make the changes you need to.

He is tired becuase he works only, becuase when we need contact people, son's teacher, son's logopedian, many situation in life, he contact, he cool on phone when we see advertisement for flat or house, my voice is like in kid and people don't take me serious. Because he is better in those contacts, becuase when i was to ask teacher for our son, he didn't understand me and i made only bad for my son and same in lot of situations. He is tired of that.
Before 15 years ago when i fall in love in my husband, i made everything to look good, how time pass, i have problem with thyroid and i have 40 kg more, i try with exercise, i don't eat much, but my kg can't down. I try with told my husband look that girl, she have much kg, but look beautiful, or look she didn't born child, but is fatty, and that works a bit, he accept me how I'm, with increased kg, but not with my aspie behavior.
He don't avoid look on beautiful girls and women, but I'm not jealous, if he find his love, that is ok, i will give him divorce, i really feel guilty, becuase i tough that I'm one shy closed women, who can change on better, now i see maybe i can improve, but can't become nt, I'm tired of that improving to fit in society, how i must improve and change for people be comfortable with me.