Do you hate it when NT's flip out a lot?

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user1001
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26 May 2011, 7:33 pm

I am not srue if that is how you describe it but I have this problem a lot. I am male and 17 with ASD and I am clumsy and screw up a lot in my time and I would always make the other person flip out on me every time I mess up. They would yell at me and say "NO you're NOT DOING THAT RIGHT!" and I would always screw up I don't know why. In my cooking class I don't know how to cook so I would screw up and every time I would put in a wrong ingredient and they would go "OH MY GOD DID YOU REALLY DO THAT" that is why I hate my cooking class. In other classes I would also make the teachers flip out on me and other students who would do that they would look at my sheet of paper and whenever I would get a question wrong they act like the world just ended and just yell at me. I have low confidince after this and low self esteem because people have been treating me badly like this. I don't know why but I always seem to screw up and I would like to know am I the only one that is like this?



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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26 May 2011, 7:35 pm

That's why I don't like being around people :/



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26 May 2011, 8:08 pm

When people flip out, they are not in control of themselves. If you think about it from a neurological perspective, you might be able to ignore their remarks. As Temple Grandin puts it, you just need to accept that NTs have emotional baggage. If they get a little crazy on you, there's nothing you can really do about it. Once their brains hit that level, they have little or no judgement and anything you do or say is only going to make them be even more mean to you. Just try to ignore that BS that they pull. There is nothing you can really do about it, and it's only making you more unhealthy.


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26 May 2011, 8:12 pm

What I don't like is seeing NT's flipping out. I let them vent and get it all out of there system. But if I have a meltdown and flip out, the NT's tell me what I am doing is wrong and I can't express myself that way.

So its OK for them to flip out but when I do it its wrong?



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26 May 2011, 8:17 pm

user1001 wrote:
I am not srue if that is how you describe it but I have this problem a lot. I am male and 17 with ASD and I am clumsy and screw up a lot in my time and I would always make the other person flip out on me every time I mess up. They would yell at me and say "NO you're NOT DOING THAT RIGHT!" and I would always screw up I don't know why. In my cooking class I don't know how to cook so I would screw up and every time I would put in a wrong ingredient and they would go "OH MY GOD DID YOU REALLY DO THAT" that is why I hate my cooking class. In other classes I would also make the teachers flip out on me and other students who would do that they would look at my sheet of paper and whenever I would get a question wrong they act like the world just ended and just yell at me. I have low confidince after this and low self esteem because people have been treating me badly like this. I don't know why but I always seem to screw up and I would like to know am I the only one that is like this?


Well first of all what I find ridiculous is a lot of times NT's flip out and no one really holds it against them....but if someone who's different from them freaks out about something they stay on your case about it. I mean am I not just as entitled to flip out?

Also, for whatever reason I used to get upset if people flipped out on me but now a lot of times I find it hilarous so I am not holding back anger or sadness......I'm holding back laughter. So I guess looking back its not so bad people gave me crap if I freaked out because I learned how not to so now I laugh when they can't control themselves.



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26 May 2011, 8:30 pm

KenM wrote:
What I don't like is seeing NT's flipping out. I let them vent and get it all out of there system. But if I have a meltdown and flip out, the NT's tell me what I am doing is wrong and I can't express myself that way.

So its OK for them to flip out but when I do it its wrong?


It sure seems that way.


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Merit
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26 May 2011, 8:42 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well first of all what I find ridiculous is a lot of times NT's flip out and no one really holds it against them....but if someone who's different from them freaks out about something they stay on your case about it. I mean am I not just as entitled to flip out?


This. And I personally think that we aspies have it a lot better in such situations (some of the time, anyways). I recently had a issue where my stepmum was flipping out because of a white lie, and I've begun to notice as I get older than neurotypicals seem to be completely unable to seperate emotion from duty/situation/whatever.

They say they don't like someone at work... well you are working, what does that have to do with your personal feelings for the person? They focus on how they feel and completely forget that there is a situation at hand that needs to be looked after in a logical manner. I do not understand it, and truthfully I find it frustrating when I try and reason with someone only to get "you manipulate, you're cold and calculating" or "you don't see it like I see it, this means you can't trust me".

What does emotion have to do with anything?


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26 May 2011, 9:31 pm

I can only speak for myself. When I flip out is because I cannot believe my Aspies are not doing that on purpose. I just had a fight with my daugther. I told her she had to do 5 pages of homework and then she will be able to play in the computer. I go check and she is in the computer chatting with a friend. I get mad. She knows the rules and she is breaking them. She says she did not understand what I said. She thought she coukd take a break and then continue. Because of the time that does not even make sense. Its always like that. For them the time just does not exist. They ignore it completely, but with that behavior they affect me, because they consume my time. And there is no way they process that. Its frustrating. I know I should be in control, but its hard. Im working incredibly not to loose my temper so I can be a good mother and help my child bevome a productive person.



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26 May 2011, 9:33 pm

It's annoying when anyone flips out frequently. :?



PinkRangerV
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27 May 2011, 12:15 am

Wow.

This hits the nail on the head fairly hard. Goddess, I hate having people flip out, especially my mom. I don't know why they're doing it, I never know when, and it's over the tiniest things. I've literally been in situations where I said almost exactly the same kind of thing the 'normal' kid in the room said, and I nearly got punched in the face for it.

Does anyone know what the heck to do about it? I usually respond calmly and just tell them, "Hey, I don't know what's wrong here, explain it to me or I'm walking away." But is that the best way to handle it? What if it's a parent freaking out? How do you call them on it then?


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27 May 2011, 12:37 am

Answer why NT freakouts are accepted: They are the majority so they can mold (read: s**t on) the culture as they see fit.


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27 May 2011, 5:41 am

Yes mostly I hate it and I shut down or tell them to f**k off and come back when they can approach me in a civil manner.

But just occasionally I somehow see that they've basically lost control, and then I feel safe to let them rant while I quietly listen and try to pour oil on their troubled waters for them. It's not always the case but sometimes the angry person is embarrassed about their loss of control, and they rather take to somebody who doesn't let it faze them. After all, that's what I want from friends, ideally - to feel that it's OK for me to lose it occasionally. Unfortunately the world doesn't seem to want to play that game with me - I once had the cheek to slam the lid of my laptop shut, and my (now estranged) wife demanded an apology. I think sometimes people see us as kids, and they don't like it when we assert ourselves. My advice is to fight them back, unless you want to be Bottom for the rest of your life.