Why do we have different meltdowns?

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For example my meltdowns are the type where I cry uncontrollably and/or shut-down.
Some people's meltdowns will be more aggressive, even abusive or destructive.

Why do we differ like this?
Can our meltdowns change?
If crying meltdowns are more common, why?

I don't understand why it is that during a meltdown I'm thinking what I'd say to stand up to whoever is upsetting me, how much I want to kick-off and start throwing things around...but the more intense these aggressive feelings get the more I cry or the further I shut-down. I often wish I had the aggressive type of meltdowns, at least then people don't think you're weak or a baby, I wonder if they would/could change.

If I don't kick-off during a meltdown does this mean I still have some control? Say perhaps this is still my goody two shoes (haha!) self stopping myself from kicking-off, or am I thinking about this the wrong way?

Last edited by Bloodheart on 25 May 2011, 9:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I go from being the quiet and naive guy standing in the corner minding his own business to being like this guy:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ6hLofnr20[/youtube]

Don't screw around with my work space!

Last edited by SammichEater on 25 May 2011, 9:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I used to have crying meltdowns, and then destructive to inanimate objects meltdowns. Now I tend to have crying meltdowns, or flame someone on the internet meltdowns, or what happens a lot is I reach a certain point and have a shutdown. Temple Grandin talked about changing her meltdowns from violent to crying.

Incidentally, when I was finally able to stop the violent shouty destructive meltdowns I was so very, very happy. I hated what happened when they hit.

I guess we have different meltdowns because of...well, environment? Neurology? Personality? Some of my guesses, anyway.

I have all sorts of meltdowns and shutdowns too.

We have different meltdowns because we are different people. Many times my meltdowns are because I don't want to perform a task that is utterly meaningless and don't accomplish anything. This is because all my life, my parents would get me to perform tasks that don't accomplish anything, and if I'm at work, it's supposed to be my escape from home, not a reminder of it. Sometimes I get mad if I'm interrupted when doing something that's important to me, like thinking about wrestling in the 90's. I get mad because certain people always interrupt me at the wrong times, so depending on who interrupts me, it can be no big deal, or the end of the universe. It also depends on how stressed I am about important things in my life.

Yes we're different people, and we have different triggers, but what I'm asking is why meltdowns are different.

I'm anything but weak and during meltdowns my mind is a red haze of anger, so I wonder then why it is I don't get violent during a meltdown, but other people do. If meltdowns are uncontrollable what is it that controls if we cry or become aggressive, if we have control over them how much and what does a persons meltdown say about them.

I have those crying meltdowns as well.

My meltdowns also take the form of an open apology thread or a tangent on WP for a while after I've made a mistake.

Is a shutdown what it sounds like? You reach a certain point and then you just go dead? Like, your emotions turn off and you get quiet and completely disconnected from what's going on? I have those a lot.

As for meltdowns, I used to have self destructive ones, and then I started redirecting it outward and took a plastic bat to my couch, which scared my cats but was better than hurting myself. I live a very guarded life to keep meltdowns to a minimum now, but I get shutdowns a lot, or at least, those of the type I described.

My meltdowns get intense... and if you are a seizure victim or have ever had a seizure... then you would relate in some way. With my meltdowns, I start crying so much that my mind goes totally TOTALLY numb. Where I am sitting their bawling and sobbing so hard I am screaming.

After the meltdown ends, I don't even remember what I did, how I reacted or even how much I cried. Not to mention my whole body feels so drained that I want to lay down and pass out or go to sleep. It's like I put so much of my energy into it that after I get side effects from the meltdowns.

I'm not sure how it is with anyone else since I know like said, sometimes its just crying under extreme pressure from something that you couldn't control... or whatever.

Yes. This. This is EXACTLY what my meltdowns are like.

I'm glad I've not done this yet...although I am noticing I'm getting far more snarky, I blame lack of sleep...it may eventually take the form of an open apology or kick-off with everyone on WP.

Yup, every sort of communication and show of emotion to the outside world just turns off, it's like some sort of emotional/social re-boot.

I used to get more extreme or intense shut-downs with boyfriends when intimacy was too much to cope with too. I'd curl-up into the fetal position, go totally stiff and close my eyes, I'd be totally unable to relax myself, open my eyes or communicate with boyfriends what was going on...even if I knew what was upsetting me, and could see how 'silly' I was being or how damaging to the relationship shut-downs were.

I thought I answered that in my paragraph. Mine are the way they are because of my experiences. My meltdowns are no longer violent because I'm no longer an angry person, and because I have more self-control. I used to put holes in the wall, but I don't anymore. Everyone deals with adversity in different ways, typically relating to the most common form of adversity they had to deal with. When I see someone being self-righteous and narcissistic and unable to admit they are wrong, I think of my mother. I used to get angry at people who would do that, because I would get angry at my mother. I no longer get angry at her for doing that because I've now accepted that's just who she is. So when I see someone else doing that, I'm able to handle it better. Meltdowns are a reaction to stress, and very much necessary to keep us from going insane. So the real question is: What are you fighting against?

I don't know why they are different... I have crying meltdowns, basically. When younger I used to drop on the floor, too. Then I developed other habits such as punching objects (not fragile) and slapping and biting myself (this trying to cry not too hard, because it is more painful than self harming).

meltdowns can be controlled, i don't have them anymore.

that video of jamie from mythbusters is excellent. he was about to have a meltdown but was able to control it; however he continued talking.

what he should have done was detected he was hitting meltdown time, and told the camera guy to turn off, and to take a break for 30-60 minutes. then he could have composed himself and come back and told the guy to fix the station according to a checklist. and if the guy doesn't do his job, then he gets fired.

but that stuff absolutely can be detected and prevented. its all about setting limits and boundaries, whether other people like it or not.

I have them in my imagination. It's satisfying there somehow.