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starry123
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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25 May 2011, 6:03 pm

Today I went to the third meeting with a ASD psychiatrist and she asked me bunch of questions about how I am socially and other things they didn't ask before. Then she said that we are going to have a "normal" conversations. I failed big time. There was so many awkward silences and I found myself saying "umm" alot and just not knowing what to say. Anyways there was a point where she brought up something about her brothers death..i dont remember why she brought that up but after she said that she stopped talking. I then tried to think of another subject to talk about and then I started saying it then she stopped me and said that I should say "im sorry for your loss" when she talked about her brother and I agreed. Then at the end she asked me what parts of the conversation was uncomfortable and I said the silences and and when she brought up her brother. Then she smiled and said "thats good im happy you found those times awkward and you know that you should find things to fill in those silences." Then she said that those two answers are really helpful in making the right diagnosis. I was going to ask her how but then all of a sudden she said thats all she needed to say and basically guided me out the door. So my question is what do you think she meant by those two answers were helpful? Are people with AS not supposed to realize where conversations went awkward?



ChrisVulcan
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25 May 2011, 7:17 pm

My best guess (and it really is a guess because I don't have much experience with psychiatrists themselves) is that she meant that it was a good sign that you could tell where the conversation went wrong.

I think it's totally within the range of normal AS behavior to realize where a conversation went wrong. Just because someone is able to develop social skills doesn't mean that they're not aspies.


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starry123
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25 May 2011, 11:18 pm

okay thanks for the reply :)



ChrisVulcan
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26 May 2011, 10:15 pm

You're welcome. :)


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Watch Doctor Who!


Vivienne
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26 May 2011, 11:12 pm

I think that she's saying...
There is an unspoken script to conversation.
One part of the script says that "If someone says they have been hurt/suffering in some way (someone died, they have had cancer, they have somehow been suffering) YOU must say some words of sympathy.
"I'm sorry for your loss"
"Oh my god, that's terrible"
"That must've been hard, I'm glad you're feeling better"
"Oh you poor thing".

It shows empathy. Those words send a message.
The message being
"I heard what you said. I realize that must've been scary/hard/sucking/awful I am regret that you had to go through that experience."

So though you may not have known what exact words to say to that revelation; you were able to realize that, 'hell, this is awkward. I should probably be saying something to soothe this person.'

Realizing that is a good thing.

If you didn't realize that, then make a note for the future. This is what you should have been understanding.


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Riddling confession finds but riddling shrift"
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