Being socially awkward with some people more than others

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I have found this in my volunteer job at the charity shop. The manager is an example. I find I keep on saying the wrong things to her and always making myself look stupid with her, whereas with some of the other people there I don't seem to make any social errors at all (I usually know when I've made a social error, but not 'til a few seconds afterwards). And it doesn't depend on the person's age, gender, neurology, ect, ect. It all depends on the person, NT or NL. But I just wonder why I make more social errors with this particular woman, more than others. It might be because I don't really like her much, because she's a very judgemental person (I can seem to pick up on people who can be very judgemental).

Sometimes, when I'm talking to her, I feel like a very stupid person, but when I speak to another person whom I get along with better I feel more like a confident person. It's funny how different people can make you feel like a different person. Do you know what I mean? I think it's because you adapt to the type of person they are, for example, if they're a bubbly type of person, you become bubbly with them too. If they're quite miserable, you be miserable along with them too. But if they're completely the opposite of your personality-type (for example if they're not a very nice person in every way, like my manager), then I find it harder to adapt to her, and so that is probably why I make a lot of social mistakes with her.

Anyone else experience this with different people? It's quite a complicated thing to understand, but hopefully I have made myself clear.

Yes, I am able to talk more easily to some people than to others. I can barely talk to my stepfather (sometimes can't talk at all) while I am quite comfortable with my mother, my therapist, many of my friends. I also have issues with some of the drivers who take me to my appointments, but not all.

Your manager is in a position of authority, so you naturally feel subordinate and anxious. Other people might not be so status-oriented and more congenial, so you have an easier time with them. I'd say everyone experiences this, even NTs. They just may be a bit more graceful about how they handle it.

My mom and best friend are the only people with whom I can speak fluently. With everyone else, I'm stilted and muddled in my speech. Probably due to nervousness.

Strange that, there seems to be a link between charity shop managers and being a jerk! I went to apply for a volunteer job at a mobility store and she basically told me that I was useless and that because of my Aspergers I wasn't suitable for work! I just said 'F**k you then' and left! I am now being managed by a lovely lady at the animal shelter!

I have trouble with anyone who isn't a carer because with carers you know where the 'line' is. You know what you can and can't say to them, you know they will never say anything nasty to you etc. With anyone else, who knows what they will do!

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

Some people are impossible for me to communicate with, because Im forced into a small pre-defined box from moment zero, and it seems these peoples "boxes" about me affects everything I do if I have to deal with them, like in your case.

Very much so.....some people I never get comfortable being around. No matter how much time has past, I am still the same awkward person, including my parents. Maybe it's because I can never let my guard down around certain individuals since I can't trust them.

I've often thought my mother knows all about the "non autie" side of me and the therapist know all about the autie side of me.

It depends how comfortable I am, I am perhaps fortunate in that I am able to turn NT acting on and off with the flick of a switch, I can choose to behave at least mildly convincing NT and I can sometimes fake small talk - though it's all from a carefully made script, but I have to be very responsible with whom I turn it on and off for, because if I turn it on for more then an hour then every following 5 minutes is an hour I'll spend recovering from overload and exhaustion.

hence, I last a lot longer in social interaction if I haven't go NT switched on at all, so I can talk to my mother and therapist for periods as long as 3 hours (very long for me) while I can fake NT with my reletives for about an hour, I generally regret it since it takes so long to recharge.

I used to switch on NT acting from the start of the day till the end, with all sorts of scripted actions, ended up a nervous wreck and I lately i've just been leaving it off for my health.

Anyway, my point is that I choose the people I am awkward with, I consider being awkward my relaxation time.

Around some people I am articulate and witty but there people for some reason trigger a strong reaction from my Asperger's and social anxiety. I become tongue tied along with having even worse eye contact. At every job I have people calling me a genious while some thought I was a little slow. Thats why one of my nicknames at my old job was RainDan.

Yes, I find it difficult talking to managers because of their position. I get Tongue tied and forget what I'm saying.

I find young confident males harder to get on with than females. Probably because I was bullied by other males in school, and females are generally more social anyway.

There's a guy in my work who I find easy to get on with though. He's the type of person who can talk to anyone, and usually talks about sports, etc, but talks to me about tv shows.

It usually happens to me with someone i'm obsessed with or someone i'm attracted to. And some people just give off the vibe of being judgemental, and also how much I care about what the person thinks contributes too.

For sure! Age makes a difference. (I can interact better with adults than my peers). However, there are some adults than I am more socially awkward with than others. Same goes for peers. Like for example, I had 2 English teachers this year; the first one was a student teacher and the second is a regular teacher. I am much more socially awkward with the regular teacher than the student teacher for some reason. I think it might be because the student teacher understands me better than the regular teacher and visa versa. I wasn't supposed this English teacher at all; the one that was supposed to get went on a leave of absence in October. I wasn't socially awkward with him at all.