Hypertense at slightest incorrect language/behaviour

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Australien
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31 May 2011, 4:49 pm

Do many of you get hypertense - to the point of experiencing physical symptoms, eg: tightness in neck and upper torso region - at seemingly insignificant stupidities? I'll provide some examples. My inner monologue is in italics

I am in the escalator taking me to the office. A woman remarks to her colleague "Oooh, how cold is it?!" It's entirely in line with seasonal expectations. We are on the cusp of winter. Do you really find this weather notable?

Same escalator. A man starts hitting "door close" repeatedly as soon as whoever is getting off the current floor is off. Are you really in that much of a hurry? Do you realise that the minimum lockout timer and normal door-close timeout means that you can save a maximum of 36 seconds by doing that even if you hit the button at the exact optimum time and the lift stops at every floor and you are going all the way to the top? What if someone needs to get on to go up and you close it on them?

I'm in the office. It's afternoon, and the "social club" are running a "happy hour". Our section's secretary bursts in and says "Happy hour is about to start, so if everyone could come in now..?" If everyone could come in now, THEN WHAT? Are you going to finish that sentence? And, maybe I don't want to socialise with someone who doesn't know how to finish a sentence. I think I'll go home.

I'm driving home from the train station. Someone in front of me changes lanes. Just after they begin the manoever, they put their indicator on. Why are you bothering with that, everyone can already see what you're doing, the idea of indicators is to INDICATE what you intend to do so we don't get any surprises when you do it. Indicating a manoever you are already in the middle of is pointless.

I'm watching TV. A government infomercial is playing during the ad. break. It argues for drivers driving at the speed limit based on an alleged "calculation" of stopping distances based on initial speed, vis "If you were travelling just 5 km/h slower, at 60 km/h, the girl escapes with a bruised leg. Wipe off 5, or wipe out lives" Oh, so car brakes and road surfaces are uniform? Isn't this situation very specific? What if she stepped in front of your car when you were closer? Then "wiping off 5" wouldn't do anything, would it? What if you were travelling faster, wouldn't you be past that point in the road by the time she stepped in front of your car? Aren't road accidents highly co-incidental and situational by their nature? How can you pass this off as axiomatically true?

I'm even starting to feel it again just re-counting it.



Wallourdes
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31 May 2011, 5:55 pm

I stopped getting annoyed at daily stupidities, it's bad for my health. getting annoyed creates mental stress, mental stress is converted into bodily stress hence your upper body strains.

Alot of people simply aren't rationally orientated, more of the emotive/social centered types.


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Australien
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31 May 2011, 6:47 pm

How do you do that though?



Wallourdes
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31 May 2011, 7:54 pm

Australien wrote:
How do you do that though?


Stop giving attention to it, just register it happening and stop judging.
I know it sounds easier said then done and it is, but it will help your tightness.

Although your observations are amusing and seem sharply made. :)


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01 Jun 2011, 8:54 am

Yes, I think I used to get annoyed on similar events, mostly when I was driving. Why don't you use your indicator, was it on the list of extras when you bought your car? I also don't understand drivers who drive far beyond the speed limit, risking lives, consuming extra fuel, wearing mechanics, just to arrive 10-20 minutes sooner, the duration of two or three commercial blocks on TV (at least here).

I guess the rule is, don't punish yourself for someone else's stupidity. Think, I also do some stupid acts when I'm in hurry... :)


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nib
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01 Jun 2011, 12:39 pm

I used to get annoyed all the time with people around me. Eventually, I realized some things.

For one thing, I realized that there are a lot of average-minded people out there. There are a lot of people who go through life in an almost zombie-like state, functioning only by relying on the assumptions and expectations that they built up earlier in their lives. They don't want to think, so they do and say all sorts of mindless things. They are taking the path of least resistance. I had to realize that as much as it bothers me, there will always be people in the world who are like that. It might even be accurate to say that MOST people are like that. Sadly, this is a fact that is unlikely to change. Getting internally annoyed with people, or even expressing my annoyance to them, is not going to change those people. It's not going to stop people like that from existing or propagating. Reminding myself of that fact helps me to stop being annoyed all the time.

I also realized that even highly intelligent people might have a way of doing things that I feel is wrong. Even as I type this message, I worry that my grammar or punctuation won't conform to the OP's notion of what is correct. I eventually realized that my annoyance with other people sometimes came from my own notions of what is correct and incorrect, but I have worked on adopting a more humble attitude: I'm not correct, and they're not correct. There is no correct. There are only my preferences, and their preferences, neither of which are correct or incorrect. Sometimes there are situations where people really ARE doing something incorrectly or foolishly, but there are also situations where other people are behaving in a way that just goes against what I prefer. It annoys me, but it doesn't mean that those other people are wrong. Viewing their actions with more humility helps me to feel less annoyed.

I have also realized that, just as OJani mentioned, even highly intelligent people falter sometimes. When there's an annoying driver on the road, sometimes I give myself perspective by asking myself something like, "what if that person's mother just died and that's why he/she is having trouble driving properly?" It's unfair to expect everyone to behave perfectly and do everything correctly all the time. People might be suffering from some stress that we can't see or know about. Reminding myself of that helps me to be less annoyed with people.

It used to give me a sort of smug satisfaction to correct people in my mind or imagine myself berating them. Eventually it was almost as if I was addicted to this way of thinking because it kept giving me that instant gratification of feeling better about myself. Ultimately, though, it wore me out and made me depressed and tense to devote so much energy to being annoyed with people. I have realized that it is much better to keep my mind busy with happy thoughts about the things that I enjoy and am interested in. I do my best to just ignore other people when possible. After all, this is my life that I am living. It's not worthwhile to invest any of my energy into thinking about what other people are doing wrong. I have realized that it takes a lot of hard work for me to keep myself from being constantly depressed, so I do my best to put my energy into keeping myself happy, and not waste any of my energy on other people.



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01 Jun 2011, 12:44 pm

Many of these kinds of reactions, for me, are a result of my anxiety issues. I am trying meditation to relief the anxiety. It works some of the time, and I continue to try and expand the list of things that don't bother me about others' behavior.

I did find, though, that being aware of the OP's stringent standards caused me to be extra careful in my writing of this post. Uh, if I messed up, then screw it!



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01 Jun 2011, 1:26 pm

Occasionally I see people who for some unfathomable reason let their pants sag way down. I just try really hard to ignore it but if I've had a long day and then see that it can sometimes freak me out.

Pull your pants up!! !



Cornflake
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01 Jun 2011, 3:22 pm

Nicely written, Australien! :lol:

I tend to think the exact same things and it used to really wind me up but like Wallourdes suggests, just register and observe these things and do nothing more. Try to remain detached from them.
Then, much of it actually becomes amusing instead of stressful.


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CockneyRebel
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01 Jun 2011, 3:33 pm

VIDEODROME wrote:
Occasionally I see people who for some unfathomable reason let their pants sag way down. I just try really hard to ignore it but if I've had a long day and then see that it can sometimes freak me out.

Pull your pants up!! !


I feel the same way. Either do that, or wear pants that fit you.


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Australien
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02 Jun 2011, 1:48 am

Thankyou for your replies. I think I need to consider more how much peoples' incorrect behaviour really impacts my life, other than my reaction to it.

Follow-up question. Is this an Aspie thing, or just a regular Judging personality thing? My MBTI type is INTJ (N is slightly dominant over S, everything else is very clear).



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